lunacy - di sini taman langitku

...

2012-01-22T21:46:00.002+08:00

I feel so shitty and It's no good.

Disini aku bermohon

2012-01-22T16:26:00.002+08:00

Ya Allah, sambungkan la ikatan yang terputus ini. Semakin hari, bertambah berat aku rasakan. Ya Allah berikanlah jln keluar Yg baik utk kami. Sesungguhnya, aku sangat sedih ya Allah dgn ujianMu kali ini.

Jiwa

2012-01-15T19:01:00.001+08:00

Kesedihan ini memberatkan akuYa Rabbi, aku memohon yang terbaik dari MuAmin

6 Jan - to a new beginning

2012-01-06T13:45:00.000+08:00

Subhanalah, I did what i been wanting to do. Shanti just told me its been 5yrs since she left mas. Which mean, for the past 5yrs i was the wondering ghost looking for a new friendship which i thot i found but somehow lost it again.
I end the agony of a lonely heart this morning. I could never do it for myself but last december after a phone conversation with Adib, I suddenly felt sad. What was i doing working while my poor boy hopelessly left without guidence. Oh! he was in a good place, Alhamdulilah. The only thing, Adib is like 'unpolish gem'. I've seen so much potential in him yet he still lack of confident. I dont want to waste anymore time. Furthermore, Kimi is going for his pre P1 entrance test, I have to coach him at the soonest.
So day in, day out .. the feeling gets stronger, and finally i found the courage to leave. The letter above was from Kiki. Anna and Hui Tuan helped to do a touch up before i printed it, signed and pass to boss.

Tears. That is something i dont understand. Im happy yet im crying. I just dont get it. Yes it will dry off soon enuf. To Lovey, thank you so much for supporting my decision. To Ayah, your approval made it easy for me. To Yeyeh, haha .. i dont need to take mc to see u while you on labour!! Kiki, thanks for the letter. To Jimi, thanks for supporting my decision. To Hilmi, i havent got time to keep in touch with you. To all Sahabat, thank you for your support and understanding. To Allah the Almighty, thank you for gerakan ini. Aku redha dan bantulah aku seterusnya Ya Allah.

Im thankful for the song "open your eyes" by MZ. I can see the wonder spread infront of me, Alhamdulilah. Right now, I pray that Allah take us in the best way, guide us in every single day, Amen.

Boys, Im coming home ...

12 Dec

2011-12-19T13:36:00.001+08:00

12 Dec

hari bersejarah utk Ibuk dan Adib. Doa kami untuk Ibuk sentiasa.

Kek dari Yeyeh & Kiki .. kek fav. mango fav. adib.

Kimi celebrating his Abang Bday :)

Kimi got a present too?? ish ish ish ..

GOAL!!! Its a goally 9th bday to Adib!!

The whole team is here to celebrate the birthday boy.

My Adib is all grown and handsome now. He has a soft-heart softer than Kimi. I know you boy, I always pray for you. Life is learning journey, u may not get it now but trust me, you will understrand it one day. I love you, boy.

Dia

2011-12-19T13:01:00.001+08:00

Inilah kita. Kita hidup untuk each other. Everyday kita go thru life, sakit pening, suka dan duka with bersama dgn anak2 yang makin membesar. Anak2 semakin mengenali lenggok gaya kasih sayang kita sebagai satu keluarga. Aku sayang dia, mungkin dia tak percaya sbb aku tahu kasih sayang aku pada dia tak dapat menandinggi kasih sayang dia pada aku. Itu aku tahu dan aku akur. Oleh itu, aku sentiasa berdoa pada Allah semoga dia diberikan kebahagian dan kesihatan di dunia dan akhirat. Dia terlalu mengambil berat hingga selalu mengabaikan diri sendiri. Ya Allah, kau bantulah aku, aku akan cuba membahagiakan dia. Semoga rumah tangga kami sentiasa diredhai dan dipelihara dalam suasana Islam dan jadikanlah kami hamba2mu yang sentiasa bersyukur. Amin.

Lun 'berkelantan'

2011-12-06T13:37:00.001+08:00

Thursday morning, 1 Dec 2011 @ T1

Pasar Siti Khatijah, KB

Bapak @ PCB

Adib & Kimi watching the big waves

Nurul @ Cekmi's wife join the family while Cekmi snapped this photo.

Senja @ PCB, Subhanallah cantik.

Ombak deras @ PCB

mega merah menandakan sudah masuk waktu maghrib

Akhirnya, kami semua bertemu dan berkumpul.
Alhamdulilah, secara kebetulan Cekmi pulang ke Pasir Mas dan Jimi mulakan berkelana keliling melaya dan menjadikan Kelantan destinasi pertama.
- Terima kasih kepada Jimi & Hani. Kek chocolate cheese itu sungguh enak!!

- Cekmi & Nurul, terima kasih kerana meluangkan masa bersama kami. Sempat jugak kami (anak singapura) temukan Cekmi dgn sedaranya di Wakaf Che Yeh.

Ikan keli goreng yg sangat yummy bersama nasi dagang.

Dah masa untuk pulang tapi anak2 masih nak sambung tidur.

yang kecik pun sama jugak ..

dalam perjalanan KB-KL

Ingatkan dah tak jumpa lagi. Tetiba bertemu Azrai di LCCT. Memang dah jodoh agaknya. Kita bertemu Cekmi sekali lagi. Utk kali terakhir (buat saat ini) we bid our goodbyeeeeeeeeee and happy shopping to Azrai in Melb!

P-T-C: kimi

2011-11-30T17:22:00.000+08:00

Last Saturday was our turned to meet with Kimi’s teachers. Kimi was so excited to go to his school and meet his teachers. I knew he missed his teacher Linda dearly. Overall we are very happy with Kimi. Quoted fr his teacher” Kimi is a responsible boy”. Alhamdulilah syukur. However, we still need to push him more to make him qualified for Irsyad. That’s the tough part. According to teacher there was one time when the kids was asked to draw a house. Our lil kimi drew a house with a door, 2 windows and lots and lots of heart. I dont even knew that he could draw heart shape.

Similarity comments from teachers for the two boys: merajuk

Both boys merajuk with their teacher in school!! Haiz.. manja sangat agaknya.

Oh tmrw i have flight to catch to msia. Ya Allah permudahkan lah segala urusan kami dan lindungilah kimi, Insyallah.

the conference

2011-11-25T17:42:00.000+08:00

i took up the challenge from my boss to come out with a name tag and handbook for the conference. It wasnt so sure at first but i figure i could find a way to do up something up to pple standard. So in mid Oct while bz with form development, i also put aside sometimes to work on the other projects. Its was tough finding time and juggling with so many responsibilities. Alhamdulilah, Allah is great. He gave me ideas after ideas and with redha from Lovey, things turned out tremendously great.

yesterday, lovey let me attend the conference dinner cos he said i earned it. Alhamdulilah, the dinner was great. I got the chance to mingle with important people and some working pple from other organization that i never got the chance to meet before.

the only thing was, the kids and hubby had to wait up for me and fetch me home. Kimi said he don't like me coming home late. He even slept on my lap. Sweet. By nite time, I know how much professional i felt when i met up with all the big and accomplish pple, home and family is where the heart is.

Ah, remembering those eyes that watching me .. i told myself dont play with fire. Dont cross the line and betray lovey's trust and love. Yup, Thank you Allah for everything. Im bless. Amin.

Adib

2011-11-21T12:35:00.000+08:00

We went for PTC at Adib school. Met with few teachers to find out how Adib fare in school. Strange but comforting to find out that Adib is a likeable and responsible boy. Many teachers praise his leadership quality ever since he was chosen as the “Chair Person” in class. Study wise, all of us believe he can do even better than what he achieved now.

So we are in a mission to make Adib a smart boy in class once school open next year. Oh Allah bless us with Your mercy and guidance.

update

2011-10-21T13:08:00.000+08:00

Today, im back to square one. I could either be lone ranger and happily go out shopping and forget abt lunch.
Life has been bz eversince ... ever!! i hv no time to read Jimi's gift yet. Im looking forward to Dec. Right now its either work or coaching Adib for exam and Kimi too to kick start him for next yr entrance test to P1. I hope Allah will grant my family and I with good health and Iman.

Last 2 days i suddenly had fever. I was so weak, i can barely open my eyes. I remembered lying down on the bed and felt lovey put on blanket over me. Still i could not say a word to him. That night, Ibuk came in my dream. I could feel her cheerful self and sweet smile. Somehow I get the msg that she told me I'll be ok on my own. All of us were there .. on such a sunny day. I woke up that early morning before dawn to perform my Isyak and I realised that Ibuk had left us more than 2yrs now. The feeling of having Ibuk in my dream was so great that its hard to believe everything was unreal. I started to cry after my solat. Thanking Ibuk for coming to see me when i was sick and weak. I love her so much and i cant believer even now she still watch over me and family. I love you, Ibuk. I love you ..

Good news to hear, Lovey might be transferred for a new posting soon. Ya Allah, he's very happy with the news, make it a smooth one for him, pls.

another good news, we'll be meeting Cekmi again!! hahaha Insyallah.

around me

2011-09-29T13:10:00.001+08:00

Berseri wajah pengantin kan? Tak sangka a week after we left KB, Cekmi came to our house. It was such a pleasure to meet him again.

Dah lama tak 'boriah'! check out the sisters..

Kimi and smokey haha ..

Oh the tall boy looking the other way is adib. Angkasawan in Irsyad!! Kene keromon dgn budak2

This raya, i brought goody-bag for Ani and Lin. Hope they like the gift. Gosh! in time like this, i just love their friendship. Sincere and pure.

and somehow when things happened .. you just slow down and keep quiet. that's what im doing now.

'makcik kepo' - so inappropriate!

We are 10!

2011-09-26T13:41:00.000+08:00

Happy 10th Anniversary Lovey!! We're 10 on 2nd week of Syawal 2011. Semoga yang indah akan terus berkekalan.

Thanks to the professional touch from Cekya & Yati Wtl, dapat lah gambar pengantin lama.

Post lambat: Selamat Pengantin Baru Cekmi

2011-09-26T13:24:00.001+08:00

Mcm tak percaya .. bila Cekmi call kata dia nak kahwin.
Mcm tak percaya .. Lovey nak ke kelantan
Mcm tak percaya .. musim raya kita keluar SG
Mcm tak percaya .. bertemu blogsahabatz yang hebat-hebat
Mcm tak percaya .. mereka sayang pada aku. Kasih sayang dan persahabatan yang membuatkan aku terpaksa menahan airmata ketika berpisah.
Mcm tak percaya .. aku sekeluarga disambut ramah, oleh semua kenalan dan yang tak kenal. Kepada Allah aku bersyukur atas Rahmat yang kau berikan. Di sana jauh dari keluarga tapi aku tak rasa asing.

Emmy & Aku - at last!!

Blogsahabats!! yang amazing banget.

3rd shot baru dapat gambar Jimi tersenyum!

tu dia pengantin baru!

Buat Cekmi dan Nurul Selamat menempuh hidup baru. Semoga bertambah sayang dan sentiasa diberkahi Allah. Insyallah

Salam bahagia

2011-08-28T08:41:00.001+08:00

It felt awesome to be able good things for others and in return Allah grand me happiness and blessful day, Alhamdulilah.
Hubby bought me a costume jewellery and a built-in-oven. I had wonderful time baking with the new kenwood mixer too. Thanks Darling, ur the best.

A furla clutch from Adik. Alhamdulilah, i felt so love with the beautiful decorated dish for buka and delicious chocolate moose cake.

Never did i expected to received that many bday wishes in FB. I felt so loved!! It brought tears to My eyes reading the well wishes & doa from frens. Subhanallah, aku syukur padamu Ya Rab atas limpah kurniaMu.

Hari raya is around the corner, Lovey had gone to the market so i have some
time for blogging.

The new president is not what i hope for..

15th Ramadan

2011-08-15T13:24:00.000+08:00

hari ini masuk 15 hari kita berpuasa. Di radio sudah mula berkumandang lagi raya. pagi tadi semasa serika uniform lovey, berkumandang lagu raya yang tak pernah aku dengar sebelum ini. Tetiba aku teringatkan ibuk. Pedih sekali perasaan waktu tu.. aku nangis sendiri, tangisan rinduku pada ibuk. Berdetik dlm hati, kenapa ibuk pergi tinggalkan kami. Airmata walaupun ku kesat tapi terus mengalir.

Ibuk, bik bukan ibuk dan bik tak akan dapat jadi sebaik ibuk. Tapi bik cuba jadi orang baik. Baik tu bermula dari hati, kan Buk?. Bik cuba jaga hati walaupun tak mudah. Bik cuba buat apa aja utk buat ibuk bangga. Bik rindu nak cium pipi ibuk, kali terakhir bik cium pipi sejuk ibuk, macam masih dapat bik rasakan lagi Buk. Buk, walaupun bik sayang mak dan sanggup buat apa aja utk mak tapi mencium pipi mak pun bik tak leh terbuat. Entah lah, mungkin lepas bik dah tulis kat sini, bik dapat kekuatan untuk cium mak pula. Buk, terima lah Al-Fatihah dari bik utk Ibuk ya.

2011-08-09T05:22:00.000+08:00

To an old friend:

Happy Birthday, wishing you all the best.
(I don't know what happen to us)

ya Rasul

2011-08-02T13:14:00.000+08:00

suatu masa dulu, bila mendengar cerita tentang Rasulullah aje, airmata ini pasti mengalir. Aku teringat waktu aku hadiri majlis perkahwinaan Baah dulu. Ada kumpulan nasyid yang menyanyikan lagu tentang Rasulullah. Airmata aku berlinang tak semena-mena. Begitulah kecintaanku pada Habibullah. Tapi setelah lama sibukkan diri dgn tanggungjawab harian dan kerja, kecintaan yang aku rasakan makin menipis.. aku rindukan masa2 air mata mengalir kerana Allah dan Islam. Tak tau macam mana, hujung minggu yang sudah, semasa aku sedang mengajar Adib dgn mata pelajaran 'Tarbiyah' bila aje sampai cerita tentang kewafatan Rasulullah. Aku baca dan menjadi sebak, tak dapat aku sampaikan kisah Rasul pada Adib kerana terlalu sebak. Mata Adib pun ikut berair. Adib jadi binggung kenapa aku menangis. Subhanallah, terima kasih Ya Rab .. sesungguhnya hambaMu in beriman dgn Allah dan RasulNya. Amin

ramadhan 1432

2011-08-01T13:20:00.001+08:00

Ramadhan kareem .. BarakAllah hummalana fi shahril ramadhan. Bukan tak sayang Buk, bukan kita lupa kan Ibuk. Sayang pada Ibuk tetap abadi dalm hati. Sayang tak semestinya minggu2 atau bulan2 ke pusara. Perkiraan orang dgn kita tak pernah sama, Buk. Ibuk paham kan?
Di ambang awal Ramadhan, lepas maghrib .. Ibuk dan Anja datang melawat Bik ke? Kita terbau bau-an lembut 'kemenyan' di suatu sudut di rumah semalam. Kalau betul Ibuk 'datang' menjengah kami, terima kasih Buk, terima kasih Angah. Bik jadi gembira dan terharu sangat. Bik rindu ... bila Bik lihat wajah di cermin, rambut pendek Bik dan rambut yang Bik inaikan dah seakan Ibuk patternya. Mana lagi nak lari, kan Buk?. Ibuk dah dengar berita gembira dari Yeh? Bik harap dapat sampaikan apa2 juga petua dan nasihat yg pernah Ibuk beri dulu pada Yeyeh. Sekarang Yeh kerja dekat dgn tempat Bik tau. Bik harapa Bik dpt buat kalau tak banyak sikit pun jadilah .. macam mana Ibuk jaga Bik dulu..
Marhaban Ya Marhaban .. Ramadan Ya Kareem.

Awal Ramadhan jatuh pada tarik lahir ayah. Bersamaam konsert Cranberries.

it's only football

2011-08-01T12:56:00.001+08:00

the most heated match Singa vs Harimau had ended but the talk still carry on. We had wonderful time watching our Lions played their heart out without much support from the referee and the lines man. We were expected to lose and we thot we were going to lose but somehow fate was on our side. Thanks to nominated MP, Mr Zainudin Nordin for the wake up call to our Lions. Its either play or you're out of the team. So the strategy work!! and our Lions will continue to brave the world .. future doesnt look that good cos next match the Lions will have to face China, Jordan & Iran. But keep the spirit high and you will get there, with God's will.

fly to KL ..

2011-07-21T13:37:00.000+08:00

We were there for the wedding. Terima Kasih pada anak2 Mak Ngah yang selalu tak pernah menghampakan. Pada anak Mak Long, apa-apaan sey.

bahagia

2011-07-04T14:01:00.002+08:00

Assalammalaikum

Hidup ni penuh dgn berbagai rasa. macam mana pahit sekali pun, manis tetap muncul tanpa jemu. menghiasi kehidupan yang semakin hari semakin memenatkan tapi harum bahagia menanti setiap kali aku mengangkat tangan bersyukur pada Mu, Ya Rabb.

Pertemuan dgn Jun dan sahabat2 yang lain sungguh menyeronokkan. Antara kegembiraan yang aku rasa mahal sekali ialah bila dapat window-shop dgn sahabatku, Lin. Ya Allah, terima kasih atas kurnaiaan masa yang kau berikan. Aku sudah hampir lupa bertapa aku sayang pada dia. Sahabat ku dari kecil dulu. Biar masa menjarakkan kita tapi wajah manis Lin dan tutur kata yang sentiasa melembutkan hati, aku syukur atas kurniaan Mu. Atas persabahatan yang terus terjalin.

Ani, teori mu it tentang 'tutup lampu dan bukak lampu' akan menjadi kenangan termanis pertemuan kali ini. Pecah perut dibuatnya lebih lagi dgn telatah sahabat yang lain.

Jun, kadang kala perasaan 'quite hambar' tak tau mana perginya kasih sayang dlm persahabatan kita. Tapi waktu kita peluk erat perasaan kasih dan sayang itu terbit semula. Seperti aku tak mau lepaskan pelukan erat itu. Alhamdulilah, sebak dada menahan air mata. Terima kasih Ya Allah kerana menyedarkan aku walaupun jika ada satu atau dua umatmu yang tak sudi berkawan dgn ku tapi insan yang lain yang masih sedia.

Hujung minggu ini aku sekeluarga akan hadiri majlis persandingan Ashraf, di Ampang. Yup, we're flying to KL!! Macam mana agaknya pergi bertemu keluarga belah Ibuk, tanpa ibuk. Aku kaget sedikit ..

Berita yang gempar tentang Cekmi nak settle down membawa kegembiraan pada semua. Insyallah Blogsahabat akan berkumpul jauk ke Kota Bahru, Kelantan hanya utk Cekmi.

Akhirnya, kasih sayang Lovey pada ku .. tak dapat ku gambarkan dgn kata-kata. Hanya doaku untuknya. Ya Allah, berikan suami ku kebahagianan dan kejayaan di dunia dan akhir, Amin.

Rohana

2011-06-16T13:35:00.000+08:00

This is Rohana, somehow i like her a lot. We always say "hi" and "hello" whenever we meet. We met again last thursday in the lift she was all excited telling me that she was just thinking of me. Cut the story short, Rohana had tendered her resignaion and her last day was the day after our meeting.

To Rohana, i wish you all the best in whatever u choose to do. It was nice knowing you girl.

buzz..bezzz ..bzzzz

2011-06-08T13:22:00.000+08:00

so the thing is the only thing im looking forward to watch these days cuma Nora Elena jer. Itu pun kene tengok online but that's ok, im still following the drama.

apart from that its either work, make sure kids do their prep before school term starts, run errands, wedding oh Wedding!! looks like im flying to KL in Jul for anak mak ngah wedding. Subhanallah .. im really looking forward to meet anak2 mak ngah. Its been so long.. tooo long indeed that i wonder if we going to be like strangers when we meet. Apa apa pun .. Ampang, Jln ikan jelawat!! Insyallah we'll be there ; )

2011-05-26T13:13:00.000+08:00

you know a couple of days ago, a friend was telling me about this other friend that suddenly decided to go MIA. Both of us were not sure of the reason of the dissapearance. I came to a term that when its time to let go, just let go. But ofcourse I could only say it now after gone thru a hard and lonely path. As much as I was willing to let this friend go, part of me still miss the person and wish for the best in the person's life.

moving on, American Idol ended its season announcing Scotty as the winner. Yes im happy over it ; )

Lastly, these day I prefer to the word "Aku cinta kamu". I guess it takes more guts to say this 3 words in malay than in english.

Adib will be getting his report book today, Ya Allah ..

Drama

2011-05-19T13:25:00.000+08:00

im into drama kraze lagik!!
the 7oclock show on Tv3 jadi sasaran. Nora Elena and Seth Tan made me wanna jump up and down. Tho the drama not as 'padat' as 'Chinta' but it still fine with me esp the story was taken from a novel. and For the first time, i could see something different in Aaron's acting. Wonder if awan still into Aaron sangat hahaha

oh the coffee latte taste good!!

2011-05-11T12:57:00.002+08:00

I saw a book in Adek room and started to browse .. I fall in love with the book instantly and started reading it. It was about a husband with a with who had breast cancer. Reading the book was like reading my future. Ibuk left us because of breast cancer and I can't help believing that I would be the next in line to die out of it. So you could imagine how much I cried by the time I finished reading the book.

This morning, I shared what I read yesterday with Lovey and started crying again. I don't know which is worst but for sure nothing about cancer is pleasant.
I even told Lovey, that I would name our daughter Luna if we ever get a girl.

Love Life by Ray Kluun- the book belong to Bil. For once I that Adek change her taste in book :)

soon we will find out ..

2011-05-06T16:51:00.001+08:00

Bismillah

sesungguhnya tmrw is the Day. This will be my second time taking part in GE. It had been 9 days full on 'intense' moment and late nite talked. The unknown became popular, the well known were smear all bcos of GE. Our deep frustrations were actually a national issues. Some bread and butter issues were surface. I've few online reports and on this cooling off days, i can't help to shed tears when i read few wonderful comments on the net. I only felt this way during National Day but today i felt it again. I love Singapore, and love living here. And i love the people who fight for the best interest of Singapore and the pple.

some good read can be found here. Stories that close the our heart of real people.
sgpolitics.com - reflacts on the issues and vote wisely for the future, real tears, real sincere tears by Nicole Seah, Dr Vincent complete transcript, and Mr Chiam's story.

My only wish is to have a brighter land to live in. Unlike now, we always in a rush to work, sleep, kids exam and etc. We are so young yet, the body feels like a 45 years old or even older. So i wish Singapore all the love and best of luck for the brighter Singapore )=

E is for election

2011-04-29T12:46:00.000+08:00

Majulah negaraku ..
tanah tumpah darahku .. the election fever strikes again. I was there last nite to witness one of the opening rally. Glad to be able to join in the crowd. Feel the ground and embrace the feeling.

Its was the Opening nite. Everyone wanted to hear what the party can do for us, the People. I could only see posters of one party in my GRC. Where's the other one? maybe not enough fund .. how sad!!

P utk perrrr

2011-04-26T13:37:00.000+08:00

perasaan ini selalu bermain2 dgn aku. Tidak senang aku menolak perasaan yang mendatang ini.

Kesunyian mungkin membuat ayah tampak lebih tua dari usianya. Dlm usia 65, ayah kelihatan 'fragile' sekali. Dan sejak akhir-akhir ini, ayah dah mula lupa2. Ayah, seorang Leo garang sekarang bagaikan anak kucing manja yang perlukan lindungan. Apakah usia senja yang menyebabkan ayah menjadi pelupa atau ayah sedang hadapi dementia.

Minggu lepas waktu aku sedang sakit, aku duduk disebelah ayah .. entah kenapa perasaan rasa 'redup' sekali. Sememangnya aku cuma ada satu ibu dan satu ayah .. kebencian yang dulu sudah lama hilang. Bagaimana mungkin?

Mungkin ayah mahu tinggalkan kenangan manis utk kami terutama Lovey. Ayah mau Lovey guntingkan rambut ayah yang semakin panjang itu.

K for kristin

2011-04-18T12:43:00.002+08:00

my baby green Kristin is here with me : D
thank you lovey. Oh i can't wait to wear it.

A untuk ayah

2011-04-11T13:33:00.002+08:00

Not having ibuk, ayah seems to be my next center of concern. He has not been going out on his own for abt a month now. He dont have the confident, afraid he might fall or get tired halfway thru. He's my ayah ..

Universal Studio and RWS

2011-03-30T13:19:00.000+08:00

Kimi story:
Kimi nak pergi RWS?? [Angguk-angguk] Kalau nak pergi Kimi kene pandai tulis R-W-S dulu ..
as expected, he did happily learnt how to write alphabets.
Kimi tahu tak RWS tu apa?

R stands for Rabbit

W stands for Walrus

S stands for Snake

Adib story:

Ibu RWS tu kat mana?

kat Sentosa

Oh RWS tu jauh eh?

tak jauh sangat lah but Sentosa is an island.

Oh kat Sentosa ada jual chewing gum eh?

hmmm

and so, Alhamdulilah semua dah sihat utk pergi Universal Studio Singapore. Orang jauh dah dtg USS, orang singapore jer yang lambat nak sampai. Syukur ayah was well enough to go with us. We stayed for a night at Festive Hotel.

i love this picture especially seeing ayah laughing.

Duhai ..

2011-03-23T16:22:00.002+08:00

Duhai taman langitku, aku kini sudah berpindah 'workstation'. Aku tidak lagi lone ranger seperti dahulu tapi aku lebih biasa bersendiri dari duduk beramai- ramai bersama teman yang lain. Duhai taman langitku, ruang utk aku bersama mu nampaknya semakin sempit dan kecik tapi aku akan tetap usahakan agar kau tidak jauh dari hatiku.

Adib sudah semakin besar, mencapai umur 9 tahun, dia semakin tinggi, kuat makan, tidur dan main. Karikulum sekolah pula makin mencabar susahnya, kadangkala mencabar jugak kesabaran ini bila mengajar Adib. Kesian dia bila kene marah, tapi aku harap suatu hari Adib akan paham yang marah itu tandanya sayang. Dan sayangku pada Adib sehingga menyusuk jiwa. Adib jangan lupa ya boy I love you. Kita belajar sama2 sehingga Adib jadi anak pintar yang rajin lagi beradab ya, boy.

Baru-baru ini, ayah dah mula sakit-sakit. Mula dari terkena kayap, disusul pula tak boleh buang air kecil/besar lepas tu dah ok dan 2 hari lepas, tak boleh buang air besar pula. Alhamdulilah, Adik-adik aku ada membawa ayah ke doktor, mengambil obat dan seterusnya membawa ayah ke hospital. Doktor mula suspect ada tumbuhan dlm perut ayah yang menghalang dari najis berlalu. Kata adik kalau betul ayah pun kene cancer nampaknya 'our fate are seal'. Ya betul sangat, dan kalau cancer ertinya aku akan mati cepat!! Alhamdulilah, selepas buat scope dan scan doctor kata ayah ok, semuanya normal. Cuma ada infection sikit. Alhamdulilah, what a relief ...

Aku terima sms dari Jimi minggu lepas mungkin kerana rasa bersalah kerana tak sempat nak balas sms Jimi, aku mimpikan dia. Dalam mimpi Jimi datang ke sini seorang. Hani tak dapat ikut, tapi aku seronok ikut Jimi shopping utk Hani hihihi .. sms masih belum sempat aku balas kerana hp aku hang dan terpaksa di reinstall program baru. Maknanya segala khazanah dlm iphone ku kaput!!

it hit again

2011-03-14T13:34:00.001+08:00

i remembered last friday, walking to daddy's home seems forever. My eyes were halfway closed, oh my was i slept walking?? by the time i reached ayah's house .. i on the tv and my sleepy head suddenly gone with what i saw on the news- Tsunami hit Japan! on 11 March 2011

oh yes, these days i kept praying to Allah pls keep us safe from all the malapetaka. No matter how ready we are, we can never be ready with the disaster that Allah had set for us. Oh Allah please forgive us for we are sinned. Please protect us from they syaitan. Amin

to think that this is only bits and pieces from Allah. The worst is still not out yet.. Allahu Akbar!!

mar-che

2011-03-14T13:22:00.001+08:00

~~why can't i post pic??!! grrhhhh~~

March!! starting with lovey's bday ... this year, we cut on presents and go for the essential. Which works for lovey, Alhamdulilah.

Dept retreat to Sentosa went well also. boohoo can't post pic here lah what a let down. Catching up with colleague with a more relaxing environment works especially for me who has been drifting apart.

Miss out on cucu aunty cukur jambul and bday bash but when to Bishan Stadium to watch the Asean games organize by lovey work place was fun. It was fun cheering for own country and singging singapore, malaysia and indonesia national anthem hahaha

Ayah was hospitalized for a night cos he can't pee and past motion. Another thing he was attacked by shingles. The way it looks nite, i think its going to dry off soon. Just bear the pain ya Ayah.

planning for no.3. i wish i have more balls hihi

sangat manis

2011-02-24T17:25:00.000+08:00

Wahai taman langitku .. aku bersyukur kerana di sini aku merasa nyaman dan tenteram sekali. Di sini bagaikan tempat aku berlari dan berhibur hati. Di sini tempat aku menjadi 'aku' mengeluarkan segala apa yang aku rasa di hati.

Di sini tempat aku berkenalan dengan ramai penulis yang bernama tapi tak berwajah. Melalui tulisan dari hati inilah kami bersatu mengenali dan bertegur sapa. Manis sekali peristiwa yang lalu. Bila sudah saling kenal terjadi persahabatan yang akrab seakan hidup tak lengkap tanpa membaca cerita masing-masing. "Indah! terasa indah" seakan lagi nyanyian Padi dalam lagunya kasih tak sampai. Kehendak alam mungkin, "tak ada yang abadi.." terdengar suara ariel mengalun indah .. ramai yang tak menulis lagi, ada yang terus menghilangkan diri. Alhamdulilah ada jugak yang masih setia, Syukur.

p/s: aku hanya terinagat nostalgia kita bersama di petang Februari ini.

im feeling Blue!! (its a happy feeling)

2011-02-14T13:23:00.000+08:00

here we are again, the two of us .. love this picture and love the BLUE. Thanks to Kiki for the pic and Adek for influencing me on make up.

oh baby, i never knew i can look good in blue ...

roda hidup

2011-02-08T17:27:00.002+08:00

tak, aku tak datang dari keluarga mewah tapi satu waktu dulu hidup kami selesa tak lah kaya mana. Ayah aku kalau bayar yuran sekolah $120 untuk satu tahun. Waktu tu anak2 lain tercengan kenapa aku tiap-tiap bulan tak payah beratur untuk lunaskan yuran bulanan sekolah. Aku pun masa tu tak pasti. Tapi hidup ini tak ubah bagaikan putaran roda, satu hari tu ayah aku diberhentikan kerja. Puas dia carik kerja tapi susah nak lekat. Aku pula gembira sebab dapat beratur bersama kawan lain untuk membayar duit yuran sekolah. Tapi ada masa-masa tu dengan nada marah ayah kata 'kalau susah sangat, berhenti jer sekolah'. Sedih aku waktu tu, aku tak mau jadi gelandangan. Aku mahu jadi orang terpelajar, dlm hati bertanya sendiri apakah nasib aku seterusnya ... Alhamdulilah ibuk lah orang yang kuat berikhtiar sebab itu sayang aku pada ibuk setinggi langit. Aku tak suka tunjukkan rasa sedih aku depan ibu, jadi titisan airmata selalu jatuh melimpah bila aku berjalan ke sekolah atau waktu tidurku. Aku simpan segala keaiban rapi-rapi. Aku tak pasti kalau sahabat2 aku masih ingat lagi tak, ada masa aku datang sekolah dan terus menangis. Tapi sayangnya tak siapa pun yang berani bertanya sbb waktu sekolah dulu aku ni ibarat si "kepala angin". Macam-macam angin yang hinggap, salah hari bulan aku naik angin. Tapi serius aku katakan, aku tak ingat macam mana diri aku sewaktu aku marah. Sungguh aku tak ingat. Ani, Lin .. kalau korang ada terbaca blog ini, ingatkan lah aku .. yang aku ingat sahabat dunia akhirat aku Lin, Ani dan Jun merupakan manusia terbaik yang aku jumpa. Sentiasa sabar dengan 'angau'ku. Mungkin juga kerana mereka aku jadi Lunacy yang sekarang ini. hai itu lah cebisan dari kisah hidup aku.

tapi minggu lepas, sedara aku datang ke pejabat tempat aku berkerja untuk bertemu dengan aku. Aku cemas. Seakan dah boleh aku agak tujuannya. Bila dia cakap hasratnya, aku jadi lemah, sesungguhnya aku pun orang susah, aku paham perasaan dan kesempitan hidup. Untuk menolak permintaan sedara aku .. aku tak pasti boleh. Alhamdulilah, atas nasihat dari orang dekat, aku berikan alasan yang amat munasabah.

baru sebentar tadi, adek bagi tau yang makcik aku terpaksa keluar berkerja untuk menambah pendapat keluarga. Sedih juga aku dengar, Ya Allah ya Rabbi ampunkan lah dosa kami, bantulah kami ya Allah.

Dan terima kasih Ya Allah, atas peringatan ini semoga kami tidak lalai, Insyallah.

tahun arnab

2011-02-07T17:28:00.002+08:00

Alhamdulilah 4 hari cuti tahun baru cina amat merehatkan. Pelan-pelan aku kemas rumah, cuci baju, buat itu dan ini. Sakit di sebelah 'lower back' aku juga agak kurang sedikit tapi aku masih tak boleh angkat barang berat. Sekali lagi aku melawat doktor, kali ini kerana batuk. Setiap malam aku pasti terjaga dan batuk terkokoi-kokoi seorang diri. Alhamdulilah sejak dapat obat batuk dan sakit semakin kurang .. cuti tahun baru ini, aku sempat tonton 2 cerita cina Red Cliff 2 dan satu lagi cerita Andy Lau jadi pencuri .. sedih cerita tu. 1 cerita hidustan Amir Khan dan Kajol yang aku lupa tajuknya. Dan akhir sekali 1 cerita indonesia di RCTI "Sang Pemimpi". Sang Pemimpi merupakan lanjutan dari 'Laskar Pelangi'. Dah lama aku tunggu cerita ini, sampai juga hajatku. Cerita ini sungguh mengasyikkan melihatkan watak kanak2 yang penuh semangat sehinggakan aku tak terdengar lovey merungut langsung. Sebak pula hati bila watak Arai yang dewasa keluar. Ariel keluar sebagai Arai yang dewasa .. sikit amat peranannya tapi cukuplah.

Aku harap kasus ariel-luna ini bisa dapat diselesaikan. Kesian aku melihat Luna. Power of love kamu it strong banget, Luna. si pengacara ferhat A itu tak sudah2 mengutuk Ariel dan Luna tapi dlm kes bunuh Alda, ferhat berpendapat si pembunuh itu patut dibebaskan kerana sudah mendapat pengampunan dari bunda Alda. eh .. kayak omongan orang giler aja!!

taman langitku menyepi ..

2011-01-31T16:32:00.000+08:00

riel, luna aku turut merasakannya.

jangan putus harap ya. Semoga ada jalan lain ..

apa pun, Tuhan punya rencana tersendiri.

kita cuma bisa ikhtiar.

gambar ini aku petik dari majalah online.

apa yang bisa kau lakukan bila penhibur hati ku pula dalam kesusahan..

dealing with pain

2011-01-27T09:03:00.002+08:00

Masyallah, my lower back hurt again. Its painful that i have to sit and solat. I tried foot reflexology yesterday but the pain didn't leave entirely. Its hard to move around or pick up things around the way. Allah Ya Rabbi, have mercy on me Ya Allah. At the moment i can't take leave or mc cos im covering my boss who is on a long CNY leave. My i have the strenght, Insyallah.

Last sunday, aunty told me Father Raymond's death. Father Raymond came for my wedding 10 years ago. He was known by his village people as 'Leman'. But when the village people had to move to new estate and give way to modernisation they all live their lives seperately. But somehow after so many years, one of the village man met Leman in Batam. Leman invited the village man to his house. Oh the village man was surprise to find a his house was decorated with the 't' sign. He told the village men that he had converted and now known as Father Raymond.

Ya Allah Ya Rabbi, kau jaga lah hati kami dan iman kami semoga hidup dan mati kami sentiasa di dalam rahmat Mu, Insyallah.

Adi's got married on Lin's bday!!

2011-01-24T16:37:00.000+08:00

semalam baru saja berlangsung hari pernikahan dan persandingan anak sulung pamanku, Ismadi bersama Dashikawati. Kenapa event ini masuk ke sini kerana aku suka dengan apa yang berlangsung semalam, segalanya manis .. Alhamdulilah. Antara sedara mara sebelah ayah yang ramai tu ada seorang, Cik Leng namnya (sepupu ayah). Aku salam dia dan dia pegang muka aku sambil berkata 'eh eh muka kau macam ibuk kau'. Aku tersenyum sambil ku tahan airmata yang serta merta begenang di mata. Saat itu ku lihat keliling dan mengharapkan ibuk kembali menjelma di depan ku seperti dulu. Rindu sekali aku dengan ibuk.

and Kudos to dian for the good work!!

Happy Birthday to Sahabatku Farlin..

dan taman langit ku berbunga lagi ..

2011-01-14T14:48:00.002+08:00

aku terima call dari sahabat aku Lin. katanya "Wa, kau dah tukar image eh? cantiknya ..."

hahaha best! Alhamdulilah, aku masih kaya dgn sahabat2 dlm hidupku walaupun mereka jarang aku temui.

terima kasih Lin, sebab call aku tadi. Oh, bday coming kan??

Pada Chita, ya aku setuju sekali, semuanya mesti Ikhlas. Itu yang penting.

Skrip kehidupan utk aku

2011-01-13T13:23:00.003+08:00

Skrip Kehidupan. Itulah kata sahabat ku yang jauh di sana. Bahagia sekali hidupnya sekarang, syukur Alhamdulilah. Skrip ini dia tulis melalui gambaran tentang aku dari sudut dia. Memang tepat sekali. Dia kata lagi semalam yang dia yakin aku punyai kekuatan yang selama ini aku tak sedari. Aku tak tahu kenapa tapi aku jadi melankoli membacanya. Mataku berkaca seketika. Semoga skrip kehidupan ini membantu aku menjadi seorang yang lebih bertaqwa, berilmu dan beriman.

Duhai taman langitku, ada yang sudi bersama dgn ku sewaktu aku kesepian rupanya.

Dan ini sewaktu aku di Melaka tempoh hari. Semangat utk ber'fesyen' katanya. It was a nice break indeed. Ku lepaskan segala pekerjaan dan ku hayati perjalanan hidup tanpa menoleh kebelakang.

Aku & Adek 'chilling' di coffeebean, T3.

Makan di mana ya? Melaka (mungkin)

~~Soalan cepu mas "cantik kah aku?"~~

2011-01-11T11:42:00.000+08:00

Duhai taman langit ku , sesungguhnya merelakan sesuatu itu berlalu dan terus meninggalkan aku amat lah meletihkan. Ketiadaanya melopongkan jiwa.

Siapa yang sudi bersama ku?

Yang Terdalam by Peterpan

Kulepas semua yang ku inginkan

ak akan ku ulangi

Maafkan jika kau kusayangi

Dan bila kumenanti

Pernahkah engkau coba mengerti

Lihatlah ku disini

Mungkinkah jika aku bermimpi

Salahkah tuk menanti

Chorus:

Takan lelah

Aku menanti

Tak hilang

Cintaku ini

Hingga saat kau tak kembali

Kan kukenang di hati saja

Kau telah tinggalkan

Hati yang terdalam

Hingga tiada cinta

Tersisa dijiwa

2011-01-04T17:27:00.002+08:00

i missed calling ibuk when i felt bored at work

i missed calling ibuk just to gossip with her

i missed calling ibuk to find out the lastest development of my kids.

i missed having ibuk around me.

still missing ..

2010-12-31T10:43:00.002+08:00

Ya Allah ya tuhanku, apakah aku yang senang sangat terasa dgn kata-kata manusia?

Astaghfirullahazim

december 2010

2010-12-29T12:04:00.001+08:00

beberapa tapak menuju ke hujung tahun 2010, perasaan berputar alam mengenang dan terkenang peristiwa yang manis namun ada juga insiden yang 'menawarkan' keadaan dalam hubungan sesama insan. Hairan aku bagaiman keakrabaan terkadang disambar oleh perasaan yang memungkarkan keadaan. Setiap hubungan mestilah dibaja agar sentiasa malar segar tak ditelan waktu tapi seandainya apa yang disemai memang sudah tidak mampu untuk bertahan, akan aku redhakan saja. Biarlah ia berlalu, aku tak mampu memburu angin yang berlalu.

Hari ini, tangal 29 December hari bersejarah buat aku & lovey. Kami diijab kabulkan sembilan tahun yang lalu. Maknanya lebih kurang 15 tahun aku sudah mengenali lovey. Tahun ini, dgn bantuan adik, aku hadiahkan lovey cincin dari Tiffany & Co. Agak terperanjat juga dia pada mulanya hihi

25 December lepas, genap lah 2 tahun ibuk meninggalkan kami. Menyambut seruan Illahi, pulang kepangkuan Yang Maha Kaya. Kehilangan masih tetap terasa, lebih2 lagi ayah. Perasaan tak menentu itu payah untuk dibendung. Kami hanya mampu mendoakan agar ayah tenang dan sabar dgn kehilangan dan kekosongan ini.

18-23 December lepas, aku sekeluarga berserta keluarga Lovey bertukar angin ke Port Dickson dan Melaka. Pada awalnya hati berat untuk pergi. Adik menyuruh aku 'enjoy myself' di sana dan Alhamdulilah memang seronok pergi ke tempat orang. Bermandi manda beramai-ramai .. tak sangka, seronok rupanya. Kami naiki Duck Tour di Melaka ohh pengalaman berada di laut selat melaka pada hari hujan waktu maghrib sangat menyeramkan. Pasti menjadi kenangan. Oh tahun ini, aku shopping tudung di Melaka .. haiz mcm mau ke sana lagi ; )

12 December, hari lahir Adib dan Ibuk. Kami naik duck tour di Singapura. Seronok, infomatif walaupun hari hujan air di kallang River (erm was it Singapore river??) tidak berkocak seperti lautan selat melaka. Sambutan hari jadi utk adib,kami sambut di rumah Ya'i dan nenek.

oh Movie galore ... apa lagi yang boleh kami buat selain dari menonton wayang seperti Harry Porter, Narnia dan Mega Mind. Segalanya utk anak2 dan keluarga ..

dan kini, cuti sekolah sudah sampai ke penghujung .. persiapan untuk sekolah sedang giat berjalan .. begitu juga menelaah pelajaran utk darjah 3 buat adib. Agar bila masuk kelas nanti sudah terisi ilmu di dada, Insyallah. Untuk Kimi juga .. jangan terlalu lemparkan 'senyuman manis mu' itu .. tak selamanya umpan itu akan menjadi Mi. Tipu helah mu ada dalam kocek Ibu ..

Semoga tahun 2011 merapatkan lagi hubungan sesama kita dan hubungan dgn Tuhan yang Esa.

2010-12-25T03:49:00.001+08:00

Oh I am that fucking hopeless person...

2010-12-17T08:24:00.000+08:00

suaranya tetap menjadi inspirasi menemani aku yang seharian berkerja. Aku harap kekusutan yang melandah segera terhurai.
bernyanyilah dikau untuk ku terus ...

2010-12-16T08:32:00.001+08:00

Happiness .. itu yang tergambar di sini. Alhamdulilah, we went for a duck tour before celebrating adib's bday at my dad's home.

December in terlalu banyak memori .. hari perkahwinan ayah on the 3rd, hari lahir ibuk 12th dan ibuk death anniversary on the 25th. Hati ayah gusar, rindu pada yang tiada. Seakan tak sanggup lagi berada di sini.

Anak sedara yang sama2 bernyanyi lagi hari jadi utk adib, Alhamdulilah. tengok tu, bukan mudah nak kumpulkan semua..

Hari lahir boss aku yang jatuh pada 13th Dec. Belon dibelakang adalah hadiah dari aku ..

Aku terserempak dia di pasar geylang. Gembira sangat. Oh dia masih membaca blog ini!! terima kasih Ani. Walaupun jauh, aku tahu kau tetap sayang aku ; )

Dan sekarang ini, aku masih lagi sibuk nak pack pakaian sbb kami semua akan ke PD/Melaka. A well derserving break, perhaps. Semoga semua selamat, seronok & sentosa.

12 Dec owhh we could never forget

2010-12-13T06:10:00.004+08:00

my handsome boy, Adib

arrgghh those magic candles ..when the light can never go off. thanks yeh for the trick!

cake by yeyeh & kiki

fun & love - a perfect picture

He's finally 8! Alhamdulilah. The child of our first love and our guinea pig when it comes to perenthood. Count your blessing, boy and be thankful to Allah always. Playhard and workhard ya. Bayblade & PSP. We love you, Adib!!

Our Greatest love to Ibuk. Our doa n prayers to u always. We will visit you soon, bu.

pictures credit to kiki

2010-12-10T18:29:00.001+08:00

U tahu tak sayang, yang hati ni masuk merajuk lagi? I tak suka jadi burden dlm hidup orang lain. Sbb tu berat rasa nak terima bantuan you selagi I termampu.

Oh kaki ini membunuhku! Sakit skali

2010-12-08T12:24:00.001+08:00

Here I am, still living and breahing. Bless with the life that still within and loving every inch of my life. Alhamdulilah

Just walk away, I don't want you to see me this way ...

2010-12-07T01:14:00.001+08:00

Last Friday I was almost hit by a car. I
cud still 'feel' the fear when I crossed that road. But somehow, right at this moment I wished I was hit by that car. Cos it's too painful dealing with my life right now. My flaws and imperfection drive me up to the wall. I hate to be a burden to people. God, I wish I wud go to sleep and never wake up.

Happy New Year, Lunacy! Life is not a bed of roses.

2010-12-01T03:55:00.003+08:00

I will always have him around me even when I'm not in my best state. I love you Dear.

Ache on the head

2010-11-25T06:47:00.001+08:00

Im practically living with headache!!

God is watching us from a distance

2010-11-23T11:17:00.000+08:00

when work started to piling up, frens seems far due to my own action .. loneliness fill in my thots. Shut up!! that was the only way to treating my own emo.
headache in my head worsen the situation in my messy head. I even lost my channel lipstick and adek new mascara or was it kiki who threw it away? Ha!! lets push the blame on him. (Ki, be glad. ur name made it to this blog)
Oh Oh Oh .. while i was 'drowning' in my emotional state, she came and bring me light. The work of God Almighty, im feel so bless ..

thanks Shan, rescue 911

Lunacy kembali .. ke taman langit

2010-11-22T12:43:00.000+08:00

Kau tahu, banyak kali aku sembunyikan perasaan hati. Rasanya perasaan senang dan gembira saja yang patut di tunjukkan yang lain tu biar disimpan dan diperap dan akhirnya aku lupakan saja.

Tapi kenapa ya, tetiba perasaan yang mudah aku 'handle' tetiba membuat aku berperangai seperti budak kecil yang mahukan perhatian. Bukan aku suka pun perasan begini.

p/s: jika persidangan bermula hari ini. semoga Allah permudahkan segala urusannya. Kerana taman lagit semakin senyi tanpa hasil karya dia.

2010-11-21T18:25:00.002+08:00

Sunday morning, we took the earliest slot to watch Harry Porter. We came all prepared with old chungky currypuffs, fish balls, pop corn n nanchos. For the kids I've prepared jackets n socks. Seriously no joke. If you want to watch a 2-3 hrs movie make sure u came all prepared. The movie was so touching, made me want to cry every once in a while. I'll be waiting for part2.

2010-11-20T21:48:00.001+08:00

Di taman langitku tempat aku mangadu. Perasaan yang tak mudah diucap dan di luah. Sekali lagi kami tidak dipertemukan.

Hampa!!

Alhamdulilah, he did well

2010-11-16T13:38:00.000+08:00

Alhamdulilah, syukur padaMu ya Allah. Segala kerja keras terjawab. Keputusan peperiksaan Adib nampak perubahan. Bukan setakat ayah & ibu jer yang gembira. Guru-guru pun sama jugak. Insyallah boy, ayah dan ibu will continue to help you. In return, you must promise to stay consistent ya boy.

Sayang Adib ; )

in random

2010-11-10T13:43:00.001+08:00

the honeymooners (Yeh & Ki)

back to SG .. glad to see u home

after unpacking .. kimi fill in 'himself' in the lugage bag

for moir from NYC, thanks Yeh

Kimi belated 4th celebration

welcome home dish as promised - Pecel Ayam

US (a family)

belated prezy for chita

belated prezy for Ligo

another belated prezy for cekmi

in the name of family & friendship .. let celebrate love.

Kimi is 4!!

2010-11-02T13:25:00.001+08:00

yesterday was Kimi'd birthday. He turned 4!!
he said he's bigger now, he so proud to be 4

here are the before and after shots of him with diff hair style. My dear kimi ni so charming yet fierce. Manja and so annoyingly cute. Subhanallah, semoga membesar menjadi hamba Allah yang soleh dan beriman ya, darling. Ibu saayyyaang dia. This friday Insyallah kita selebrate ok ; )

renung dan tenung

2010-10-28T08:36:00.003+08:00

Korang tahu kan buat masa ni aku tengah khusyuk menonton Drama tv3, Chinta. I watched it online not live. Aku suka plotnya yang semakin hari semakin berkembang. Tapi aku pelik, kenapa kisah hidup si Chinta tu macam tu. Nak kata malang pun tidak jugak .. dia tidak merempat. Tapi malang jugak sebenarnya kerana cinta impian sukar betul nak melekat. Cinta terlarang yang mekar berkembang. Dan yang paling menyedihkan dia berpaling dari jalan Allah. Nauzubillah. Walaupun ini cerita tulisan manusia tapi kan tak salah kalau kita ambik ikhtibar ..

peringatan utk diri sendiri:

bila Allah menduga kita dengan sesuatu dugaan yang maha hazab, jangan sekali berpaling dari jalan Allah. Kerana setiap kali Allah menduga seseorang hamba itu, pasti Allah akan berikan ganjaran besar jika hambanya tetap sabar, redha malah bertambah iman kepadaNya. Subhanallah.

'ibu itu buat aku pilu'

2010-10-22T08:39:00.000+08:00

Aku masih terbayangkan wajah seorang ibu yang aku jumpa semalam. Dia duduk meminta sedekah di TKC. Tak seperti peminta sedekah yang lain, 'ibu' ini duduk menadah tangan sambil mengesat2 airmata yang tak de hentinya. Setiap yang lalu lalang di situ kehairanan. Kerana dia tak ubah bagai anak kecil yang ditinggal ayah/ibu. Raut muka yang penuh kerisauan, kesedihan dan kebingungan. Aku tahu kalau aku teruskan langkah tanpa menghulur sedikit bantuan pasti hati aku akan resah.

Aku lihat seorang lelaki bangla dan wanita muda cina menghulurkan sedikit bantuan buat 'ibu' itu. Airmatanya bergenang. Bila aku menghampirinya aku seakan mendengar suaranya berkata 'terima kasih' tapi aku tahu itu hanya suara hatinya yang terlahir dari mata yang aku amati dalam-dalam. Aku pasti dia menjadi mangsa keadaan. Ku lihat keliling kalau-kalau ada anak derhaka yang memaksa 'ibu' itu meminta di situ. Tak ada!

Langkah pergi ku meninggalkan 'ibu' itu menjadi sebak. Tak pernah aku rasa begini bila bersedakah pada sesiapa pun. Dalam sebak aku berdoa pada Allah semoga dikurniakan rahmat dan rezeki utk 'ibu' itu. Sesungguhnya tempatnya bukan di situ.

Mungkin hari ni akan aku lalu di situ lagi.. Insyallah.

2010-10-19T13:20:00.000+08:00

In hook to Chinta, tv3 drama. tried very hard to watch it online ..

im bz at work
im bz at home
im bz with Chinta

.. that Atlas Ring looks good for him :)

Alhamdulilah ..

2010-10-12T12:24:00.002+08:00

Day 13, Syawal

2010-09-22T13:27:00.001+08:00

semoga Allah memberi aku kesabaran. Sabran Jamilan, Ya Allah.

one of the best pic of us together
i love u, dear

Syawal

2010-09-21T17:09:00.000+08:00

Seronok dapat undangan dari Jimi Wiser.. if only Perak tu dlm singapura tentu aku tak tolak. Apa tah lagi undangan pada hari lahir Jimi sendiri .. hmm dari jauh aku doakan agar majlis berjalan lancar dengan penuh barakah, Insyallah.

Hari raya .. sambut masih meriah. Aku terima kunjungan Tatot smlm .. macam tak percaya dia dtg seorang ke rumah kami.

wajah-wajah kami di AidilFitri

Selamat hari raya..

2010-09-14T13:21:00.001+08:00

Selamat Hari Raya 2010 dari Lunacy Sekeluarga

Satu perkataan yang sering bermain dibibir ku ialah "Penat". Terasa sangat penat dari masuk Ramadhan hingglah ke Syawal. Alhamdulilah, rumah tersusun jugak. Terima kasih pada Lovey yang banyak membantu aku.

Tahun ni aku rasa seronok sangat .. aku ada kuali besar, periuk baru memudahkan aku bila nak masak. Seronok rasanya, bertambah sayang aku pada dia. Kalau lah dia tahu ..

Tahun ini bertambah meriah sebab anak2 dah besar .. thanks to Ipin & Upin, Adib dan Kimi tak sabar2 nak mintak maaf di pagi raya sabab nak dapat duit raya dari ayah. Seronok betul .. ibu pun dapat duit jugak : )

Dah nak masuk 10 tahun aku berumahtangga, ini lah tahun pertama ayah jejakkan kaki kerumah 'besan'. Syukur Alhamdulilah, mertua aku faham sangat dgn 'kelainan' dlm keluarga aku jadi selama ini memang tak de isu yang bangkit dari mulut mereka berdua. I am trully bless for having such a wonderful Mak dan Bapak. Bayangkan kalau mertua aku jenis yg tak bley lebih kurang .. ish!! ngeri aku nak berbual.

Tahun ni jugak, kami bawak ayah jalan2 kerumah adik-adik ayah .. hihihi sampai pukul 1 pagi...

Salam Lebaran

2010-09-08T23:37:00.000+08:00

Salam untuk Semua!!

Selamat Menyambut Hari Raya Eidulfitri. Maaf segala silap dan salah semoga Ramadhan yang pergi telah menambah keimanan kita padaNya. Sambutlah Syawal dgn hati yang terbuka walaupun tak semua kesalahan orang dapat kita lupakan begitu saja.

Goshhh.. im dragging myself, steping into that house again. Im doing all the right thing for Ibuk sake.. Ibuk cukup ajar anak2nya. Itu misi kita sekeluarga.

SELAMAT HARI RAYA ...
MINAL AIDIL WALFAAIZIN WALMAKBULIN ...

27 Ramadhan

2010-09-06T17:06:00.004+08:00

Raya tetap raya .. walau apa pun yang terjadi.
Lagi 3 hari dan Ramadhan akan pamit lagi buat tahun ini.
mood kerja pun dah making kureng ...
otak asyik teringat rumah. Nak buat apa yang patut ..
utk pertama kalinya $$ raya belum ditukar lagik.
entah .. mungkin usia yang mangkin tua membuat aku makin lambat buat kerja...

Adib Alhamdulilah puasa penuh sejauh ini.
Kimi Alhamdulilah keletahnya bukan main lagik.
Lovey Alhamdulilah semakin murah hati
Aku Alhamdulilah cuba teruskan tradisi keluarga dan menyatukan semua semampu boleh.

Walaupun ada kalanya aku cuba menunjuk belang tapi ada saja kata2 manis di tepi telinga mangatakan "u think ibuk would like u to do this?"

sejak berbulan lepas aku 'kehilangan' rantai leher dan loket 'W' hadiah hari jadi yang ke 21 dari ibuk. Sejak itu juga aku cuba mencari tapi tak jumpa.

Dalam diam aku berdoa agar temukan lah kembali rantai ku itu ..
Semalam waktu aku berkemas, Alhamdulilah aku temukan kembali hadiah peninggalan ibuk ku. Syukur .. Ibuk pasti tersenyum sekarang.

17th Ramadhan = 27 Augustus

2010-08-27T08:36:00.002+08:00

Ya Allah Ya Rabbi ... dugaan apa kah ini??

last nite, I took off my 'specs' sekali tu the screw patah! so im wearing my 375 degree specs, padahal my eye degrees had gone down to 300!
half way buat terawih, kimi nak susu .. we found out that we were locked in our own room!! Lock from inside. We can't open the door. Lovey had to force opened the door. so now the door is not working.
this morning, i forgot to write adib dictation on a piece of paper. We normally wrote his spelling and dictation on a smaller piece of paper so he can used that to revised while in bus. Imagine the kalang kabut state i was in cos his school bus was right at the corner junction!!
Oh, i just left my hp with Kimi in the car .. he was watching Toy Story3 when i alighted the car.
.. and pple can't write on my FB wall to wish me HB : (

HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUNACY!!

16th Ramadhan

2010-08-26T14:38:00.001+08:00

Mlm ni 17 Ramadhan, malam Nuzul Al-Quran. Subhanallah, coincidently cantik dan bertepatan. Semoga mlm ini aku akan menjadi lebih sihat dan bahagia. Aku mahukan kesihatan Ya Allah, tanpa kesihatan apakah aku akan pergi seperti ibuk.

Dalam kehidupan harian yg tak kaya dan tak berharta ini aku bersyukur sekali atas kesempatan hidup di bumi mu, Ya Allah. Dan merasakan kasih sayang yang diberikan pada ku.

lagu ini melembutkan hati aku. RahmatMu Ya Allah aku syukuri. Kerana sudah lama aku tak merasa begini.

p/s: Mbak Luna, selamat Ultah yg ke 27 ya, giliran aku; esok.

15th Ramadhan

2010-08-25T17:27:00.000+08:00

its the mid of ramadhan. Alhamdulilah Ramadhan tahun ni hati aku redup kembali. Nasyid tentang Rasullulah menemani aku .. buat aku menitis airmata mengenangkan cinta dan kasih pada Rasulullah. Hati bergetar mengenangkan mu Habibullah ...

Setiap malam dalam kepenatan aku gagahi juga berterawih dan merasakan kemanisan Ramadhan. Alhamdulilah ...

10 Ramadhan

2010-08-20T14:03:00.001+08:00

Lihat langkah ku ...
he still there .. not exactly behind bar but detained for what u say as 'further investigation'. Whatever laaa im still a fan.

im tired lah back from Jalan Pisang. Beli lauk for buka. its raining out there, jalan licin but kept telling myself do it for the pahala.

yesterday for the 1st time we went to JB hunting for Kuih Raya. It was a fun trip i had fun somehow browsing and teasing and relaxing haha ..

oh and i came across 'serunding daging' - something like what Cekmi bought for us. I hope it taste as good.

3rd Ramadhan

2010-08-13T14:12:00.001+08:00

I was told that i would need to move to another work station. Was given a month to pack. So on and off i would try to clear watever that i can. I found this old piece of telephone list. It used to be one of the important item at work. *sigh* I miss those good old days having a partner in crime. How i miss having a fren to chat and share. These days no one bother what i used/ wear to work. Lonesome .. lonely .. loner.

There was an old bag which i don't have the heart to throw just yet so l left it to one side. Now it was all moldy and dusty. I happily said goodbye to my bag and oh oh oh ...the A4size box contain slippers and shoes!!!

Im so tired : )

2nd Ramadhan

2010-08-12T15:29:00.000+08:00

Our email:

I wrote:

He replied:

1st ramadhan

2010-08-11T12:37:00.000+08:00

Setahun yang lepas aku tak pasti yang aku akan bertemu dgn Ramadhan kembali. Sesungguhnya Allah maha mengetahui, kesedihan terubat kembali, kehilang tetap ku rasai, tapi hari yang aku lalui lebih berwarna .. kasih sayang ibuk tetap aku rasakan. Kasih sayang ayah juga secara perlahan terasa begitu juga dgn adik. Tapi yang aku sanjung kesabaran Lovey dan sayang yang terlalu indah sehinggakan sebuah senyuman itu saja sudah cukup buat hati berlonjak kegembiraan.

Ramadhan muncul lagi .. kami awalli dgn solat terawih di rumah bersama. Di susuli dgn doa bagi yang sudah tiada dan juga ibu bapa serta keluarga. Ramadhan datang lagi .. semoga lebih bererti dari tahun yg lalu.

friday friday

2010-08-06T14:22:00.000+08:00

What supposed to be an ordinary day turned out unexpectedly a happy one.

Uptown ladies

An old school mate (my junior in school) sent me a message in FB calling me out for lunch. somehow i agreed to the invitation not knowing who else would be there. Alhamdulilah i managed to brush away all the awkwardness and actually had fun.

<><><><>

me, mariam,fidah,azlina & nasreena

Singapore 45th Birthday celebration at the panthouse. I got the chance to sing our national anthem and renewed our pledge to the county. Oh my pic wasnt here ..

10 o clock show "The Last Airbender" - Its bonding time with the kids before we call it a night. Great movie indeed .. all of us were so happy.

Alhamdulilah .. all praise to Allah.

Happy BirthDay Ayah

2010-08-04T10:26:00.002+08:00

the old me and the old ayah cud never see eye to eye.

Marriage somehow changed me. dlm takut aku tetap cuba men'jestify'kan perkata-perkara yang patut di pertahankan.
Dan sekarang .. almost setiap petang aku dan ayah duduk berbual, mengadu domba tentang cerita harian kita. aku dan ayah .. segala caci maki yang berlaku di sini bagai dah takde lagi. Pemergian ibuk merubah kami ..

Ramadhan datang lagi .. Ibuk jengok lah kami kembali ...

2010-07-30T10:11:00.001+08:00

kawan saye kata:

biar kan je lah Dia dan ‘dunia perfect” dia
Tapi tak silap – orang mcam gini selalu rasa insecure jadi suka banding2 dengan Orang yang ‘lower’ dari dorang, to feed their own ego

Aliff Danial

2010-07-23T10:50:00.000+08:00

hati aku masih berbunga2 bangga dengan pencapaian 'adik-adik' aku yang aku kenal di sini. Satu demi satu menunjukkan bakat mereka. Yang terbaru, im_daniel muncul semula. Sudah aku google buku penulisan dia dan yang pastinya selepas membaca sinopsis "Tiket Bola Sepak untuk Putera Haziq" aku percaya Adib pasti suka membacanya. Kerana buat masa ini Adib minat sangat bermain bola di sekolah. Pada penulis Aliff Danial, i don't mind getting a complementary copy from you hihi dgn tanda tangan sekali ya ...

do email me or look me up in FB : Lunacy_ratts@yahoo.com

im just ordinary and in love

2010-07-19T13:32:00.003+08:00

Oh Well, i might as well own up that the couple in the movie made me think twice about wacthing the movie but i was bored and decided to give it a shot and i was glad i took that shot. In fact i watched it once and i watched it again the 2nd time with Lovey. I guess its the kind of movie made just for us. Couple with kids and our daily hectic and tiredsome life. Good thing about this movie it made lovey and me looked back at our marriage. Don't underestimate boring couple cos they too could be happier & more loving than what we all could see. And thank God, our status still intact as couple and not 'roomates'!!!.

Yesterday, we attended 2 weddings. On the 1st wedding reception, the caterer was the one we hired for Dian's wedding. We ate our heartfelt and got bungkus some more. Thanks Kak Ani!! We were too full to eat by the time we reached the 2nd wedding so we helped ourselves to the dessert instead while waitiing for the pengantin. The MC- Ab Shaik had a short game for kids and 2kiddos were sporting enought to take part. Look at that .. both holding the books that they just won while watching the pengantin on stage.

On a SAD note, lovey hv no idea that i wanted to go resort world badly. He missed the date to apply for the family day outing. Im mending my sadness with a cup of Vanilla Latte from Coffeebean.

One last thing, Oh pls pls pls remind me not to order anything online. I saw a red blouse online wore by a mannequin. I ordered 'em thinking it cud make me look slimmer but never that i knew that i was just another human being with 'big butt' and the blouse unfortunately made my butt looked even bigger!!!

oh now i know im not a MANNEQUIN!!

2010-07-16T17:04:00.002+08:00

oh Aku Cinta Dia!!

im in a situation that i cud almost 'physically' feel his love and yet i just don't know how to describe it in words.

Kau Tetap Menderang

2010-07-12T12:03:00.001+08:00

with Spain winning the final game, i bid my goodbye to sleepless nites. One months of exciting games full of ups and down. Till 2014 in Brazil ..

yet im still having this unsettling feeling inside me. Eversince the spread of his secret videos followed by his arrested. I've been partly sadden by the whole thing. I guess this was how ibuk must had felt when Jamal A was nabbed for drugs over and over yet Ibuk would still remain his ardent fan. I've been digging Peterpan's songs and listening to it over and over just like what i did whenever i felt lonely. Their songs been too close to me to inspired and kept me going, that was how strong i felt for this band. I've been watching Ariel on YouTube, funny i never did this before and i tell you tho i too was somehow smitten by his short and fresh hairdo but i wud still prefer listening to his voice and his songs. And i absolutely preferrd watching him with his clothes on.

and there was the gf, my fav luna from Dashyat. Dashyat seemed incomplete without her, even Olga seemed to be frustrated with the 'stand in' for luna. The late Mama Lauren once predicted that Ariel and Luna would not make it to 'pelaminan'. Hai, could Mama Lauren prediction be as powerful as Paul the Kurita (read: sotong)??.

So far, Im glad that Lovey shared the same sentiment as me. A personal video for personal collection, yes it was not the right thing to do (perhaps this is part of God punishment to those involved). But this was not an isolated case i hope the case could be solve real fast. Im wishing for miracle here, hoping he will be out soon, i can't wait to listen to their latest creation, new songs as Peterpan or not .. 'and im still "A Sahabat Peterpan".

Entah kapan malam berhenti, teman, aku masih menunggu pagi...

2010-07-07T08:35:00.000+08:00

one more day make-up puasa.
Netherland won the match with style .. and Uruguay was great if only the keeper was not dreaming. I woke up with a headache but i continue to fast today. May Allah gives me strenght to continue my ibadah.

haven't heard from Jimi yet but i hope he's coping well with sadness.
looks like awan and ligo are out of FB at the moment, well at least ligo still blog. Oh good luck with Snow P1 registration gurl.
WTL seems to be ok but not .. im confuse at times but i always wishes her happiness
heard cekya was sick but she sound ok in FB so i hope it wasnt as bad as i heard it was .. apa2 pun speedy and steady recovery ya sayang.
dijah, hope u finish ur thesis real soon and speedy recovery.
cekmi must have been bz ..
masyi, we're in the same land yet hard to see each other hihi
emmy is working real hard as usual, wish u get rich real fast ya emmy with the kind of work ur doing

to my darling Lovey, thank you love from the bottom of my heart. You drives me to work every morning when its not even close to ur workplace. I love u, love, love, love.

...semua tak kan berubah
semua tak kan berubah
ini taman mimpiku
ini taman angit ku...

Tak ada yang Abadi

2010-07-05T16:39:00.000+08:00

Buat sahabatku Jimi, hope you coping well with sadness. Some of us had gone thru it too .. and some still grieving over the loss. I wish you well and I pray that you stay strong.

[Jimi kehilangan ayah pada July 3, 2010, 1pagi].

and so the craze is on .. i can't stop listening to their songs, 'feel' the emo thru his voice and hope the new album will be released soon. Its total crazy, siding with 'the wrong' (if he is found guilty). I hope things won't turn ugly. I hope they won't keep him long there .. come out and sing lah boy, hope you write more new good & solid songs while they lock you up. Biar 'feel' gitu loh ..

i love the new skin .. any many more to explore nih ..

few things in my mind ..

2010-06-28T09:43:00.000+08:00

happiness sbb terasa macam krismas in June sbbnya .. while i was bizi shopping for gifts utk sahabat-sahabat yang aku kenal dari darjah satu dulu .. tup tup aku terima hadiah kejutan dari Jimi. I loves surprises, Subhanallah. Terasa keindahan bersahabat dan mempunyai sahabat.

Sewaktu kami beramai-ramai mengambil foto ini, aku seorang saja yg tak pegang apa hadiah. Beberapa sahabat mencadangkan aku ambil kotak utk buat 'posing' dalam senyum aku teringatkan buku ku di rumah hadiah dari Jimi. Takpe, aku dah pun terima hadiah duluan, Alhamdulilah. Minggu lepas jugak aku terima lagi satu hadiah 'mahal' dari erm ... *look up and wink*. Entah ya, besar hati aku bila memberikan sesuatu pada orang yg aku sayang walaupun lepas tu kocek aku separuh kering hehehe. Takpelah .. rezeki dari Allah.

10 hari Jun pulang ke Singapura kerana nak hadiri perkahwinan anak sedaranya. Dalam 10 hari tuu 2 hari aku dapat bertemu dengan Jun. Cantik dan Baik. Itu lah yg terbaik aku katakan pada sahabat ku ini. Dari dulu hingga sekarang selalu menjadi rebutan ramai .. her company bring pleasure to others .. sabtu lepas, Norjan almost in tears bila berpelukan dgn Jun. Aku tak pula sedih ... cuma perasaan aku kuat mengatakan kita pasti akan bertemu lagi.

Yang ini gambar waktu di majlis perkahwinan anak sedara Jun. Foto ini tidak perfect .. tapi aku terlihat 'sosok ibuk ku' pada gambar ku yg ini .. Subhanallah.

Jun will be flying home to Melb this wed nite, one last chance to bid her goodbye.

Bercerita tentang sahabat di sekeliling hidup ku, aku menjadi rindu dgn lagu 'Semua Tentang Kita' dari Peterpan. Aku jadi rindu dgn suara ariel dan aku menjadi semakin tak percaya dgn all the nonsense abt the porn stuff. TV station keep on spaculating this and that. Oh and i just read from an online gossip webbie abt him and saw a superimpose pic of him with an old lady. Kurang ajar!! Oh and stop labelling people its no fun anymore lah .. i hope everything will end soon. The media is not supportive at all .. i saw Sarah Amelia (ariel ex-wife) pleaded and said 'kasihan anak saya' .. isn't that enuf??

yesterday was the last day of June School Holiday, brought the kids to airport and they had their one last time of fun ride before headed to school.

today, adib woke up as early as 5.15am. Nervous perhaps .. i hope everything goes well in school. Opsie!! he forgot to bring his report book!!

Anyway, Ive been bizi with World Cup. Watching one by one my fav team gone down and went home... but im still loving the sport : )

saja je

2010-06-11T17:02:00.000+08:00

namaku Lun, bukan Luna
oohh bukan Luna Maya si,
cuma LunaCy

hik hik hik .. HAPPY WEEKEND

New moon ..

2010-06-08T11:37:00.004+08:00

oh btw, from the look on kimi's face doesn't look like dia kene chicken pox kan?

i think these were some of the outstanding questions that left unaswered for awhile.Kimi had skin irritation so the red watery dots that left me emo was actually NOTHING *sigh*. But im thankful too

i slept late last nite cos i watched Twilight New Moon on iphone alone till 1am. I guess the image of Edward Cullen's smilling while sort of proposing to Bella to marry him put me to bed at ease. Sleeping felt such a luxury with Lovey around ... he's my Edward Cullen

Thank you Allah, Alhamdulilah

family

2010-06-04T15:53:00.000+08:00

life being great Alhamdulilah. managing and balancing between work & play - responsibility & fun.

im adjusting life as and when i need to and lovey being the greatest person always there to back me up like pushing my butt when i felt too tired to walk up the staircase hihi.

the kids being wonderfully painful to talk too cos each one have their own liking and priorities arrggghhh and they are only 3 and 7. Oh one cute little thing was when Adib saw me moshing Kimi's face, he said "Abih tak kiss abang". hehehehe ... Oh yes!! Watch out Adib .. don't complain ok after this hehehe ....

oh and our first attempt to cook Briyani during the Vesak's holiday.

tears on my keyboard

2010-05-24T12:46:00.003+08:00

i can't believe my ears when lovey told me he found red watery spots on kimi's body.

so what now?? i had everything plan out for today, buy lunch early to escape long queue and continue with my work. But right before i left my workstation, phone rang and lovey told me about kimi's condition. there you go. i lost all my appetite ..

how am i suppose to finish my work if tomorrow i had to take care of kimi at home?

No, im not complaining, im just trying to find strenght. Dearest "el" had been my source of strenght indirectly. i admired "el" a lot, the attitude and strength amazed me. But dear "el" suddenly decided to lie low. So at this moment, i was left with "me" crying alone while typing this entry.

2010-05-14T09:59:00.000+08:00

i cudn't find you, i wonder what when wrong?
ive no answer to my own question only you know it.

sobat-ku itu

2010-05-10T10:02:00.003+08:00

beberapa tahun dulu waktu aku berborak dengan Awan di dunia cyber, dia ada beritahu aku yang bersahabatan tu perlu dibaja selalu. Entah kenapa sejak hari tu kata-kata itu seakan melekat dlm otak aku. Dan setiap kali bila sesuatu persahabatan yg terjalin menunjukkan tanda-tanda kelayuan kata-kata itu berligar lagi di dalam minda aku. Semacam lonceng 'red alert' keudara tak mahu berhenti. Aku cuba juga tekan butang 'snooze' tapi cuma buat beberapa ketika saje sebelum amaran merah bersuara lagi.

*pelik kan?*

brand new feeling

2010-05-05T11:09:00.000+08:00

im in no position to understand everyone so as for now, i shall let it be.

i was complaining to lovey about not having a watch sampai i sibuk shopping, lambat balik ofis.
so i got a new one from him, Alhamdulilah. Bless him for the quick 'pick-up' to my hint.
We passed by a watch shop and he told me to choose one, intead I told him to choose one for me .. i feel proud wearing something to his liking.

Funny, i never feel like this before ..

Andai ku tahu ..

2010-04-28T09:03:00.000+08:00

sejak akhir-akhir ini persoalan tentang mati sering hinggap di minda. Tak, aku tak macam setahun dulu yang ingin mati mengikut jejak ibuk. Aku tak tahu kenapa tapi bayangan 'andai ku pergi dulu sebelum mu' datang setiap kali aku berjalan seorang diri. Entah lah. Apakah tempoh hidup ku akan expire dalam masa terdekat ini wahai Maha Pencipta sekian alam? Bagaimana dengan Lovey, Kimi, Adib .. Adik .. oh Ayah juga. Kengkadang aku rasa macam aku ni pendukung kuat kehidupan ayah sekarang. Perkara yang nak-atau-tak-nak mesti dilakukan.

untuk Lovey ku sayang:

"Picture this: you and me
Walking down a white sand beach
We're holding hands the warm wind blow
We're all alone"

- Painting in my mind by Tommy Page

Dinner

2010-04-27T13:52:00.001+08:00

yesterday when i reached Ayah house, he was sit-sleeping on the sofa. Must had dozed off while waiting for me or the kids to be home. I planned to cook provided i could find stuff in the fridge. I was lucky i guess, i started with the rice first, fried chicken wings and 3 pieces of Batang Steak fish that i bought from NTUC. I was pounding chillies and onion when i Ayah woke up. He went to his room and moment later he came to the kitchen asking what im doing. I told him im cooking "Asam Rebus". He asked me again the same question and i answered him again. Poor Ayah, he must be missing home cook food, esp his late wife super cooking. I told him i bought long beans to go with it and i fried fish too. He opened the cabinet door, took out a plate and started to scoop for rice. Something about being 'orang Jawa' and Asam Rebus i guess.

On my part, Panick button was 'ON' .. suddenly i remembered, my Ibuk used to grumble about Ayah. This is one of his old habit ... whenever he saw ibuk cooking, he would assume the dish would be cook within minutes .. so i rushed myself with the cooking and cutting while ayah slowly prepare to eat.

Once finish with Ayah's dish. I continued prepared to cook sambal tumis for the fish that i fried earlier. While my sis was so 'ON' to eat her 'Ikan goreng tawar' with kicap, cili padi, lime and cut onion.
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somehow, my sister wanted to get ayah a new bed and i was supposed to be the spokesperson. It wasn't easy especially when i told him last nite .. his eyes got all teary .. shucks!!
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p/s: im listening to GLEE. kiki passed me the series and i can't wait till im home so im playing it on the media player but no picture appear just the voice ... but i still can NOT eat and listen to Glee. Hey like what spongeBob said: "Yang penting, kita mesti ada I-ma-Gi-Na-sI"