lunacy - di sini taman langitku

Dear kak emmy, thanks for the call yesterday. i guess if u call means u care kan? thanks again sis. I don't think anybody would call to ask how am doing (tho' deep in my heart it would be nice if once a while i get those special attention) Oh well ... Anyway, im only sad when im in the office. Life will gets better, insyallah. But in the mean time im still me, the poor sad soul. hugs & kisses me

how fragile our feeling is .. we couldn't allow ourselves to organize a farewell tea party cos we couldn't bare to bid them goodbye. Let alone, discussing abt it this morning could shed tears to Annas' eyes (she's big boss secretary). The dept spent $1,000 ++ for lunch @ Sanur. Crazy it is .. but boss said let us be happy and spend!! Maybe tomorrow we'll order haagen daz ice cream. After lunch, big boss gave away presents to Shanti and Connie. Shanti for the obvious reason broke down and cry after reading what i wrote in the card. Connie was laughing out loud cos i wrote in her card to "Stay SEXY". I guess the other Heads agree with me on her sexiness. As a thank you note, Shanti and Connie bought all of us a lolly pop biscuits from Famous Amos. I've been crying too many times today. Not forgetting the whole dept know abt my pregnancy (pai seh pai seh...) even Big Boss said he also heard abt it. Eh??? HT and Anna would be ordering flowers for th...

this will be their last week. Next monday they'll be transferring to the other floor. Its a known item that they are sad to leave. This morning, while getting ready i took a closer look of myself in the mirror. Acknowledging my feeling, crying out loud but in reality only tears flow on that chubby cheek of mine. Both my right and left neighbour are gonna leave me. Am the isle of my own. Work is piling up, ive been ignoring all those fact. I've to be positive for my good fren shanti. That's left me all alone with the fear and uncertainty of how my future gonna be here in the dept. i just came back from the toilet. Can't help it, need to cry again. A silent cry is sure a painful one..

i DON't think there's anything wrong with me today but these people is affecting my mood scene 1: she: the cost of my check-up yesterday came up to $900, why can't all been been subsidized by medisave. too much right? me: err.. but all this while its like that what, only certain amt will be deducted by medisave, just in case you'll sick again in future and got no money to pay ... (aiyoo, apa jer pepagi nak marah-marah... ) scene 2: He: she's very pretty eh? she won't something last friday, right? she: what?! u called that pretty?! He: Yes, she is pretty to me. She: you think so? I don't ... He: But I still believe she is leh..... Me: don't bother, she is real pretty He: yeah, she is .... (smiling) (ada ke patut dia kata siti tak cantik, even budak cina pun bley appreciate..) scene 3: She: Ratna praise the god, yesterday i was so in pain. So i meditate and last nite my hasband rub oil on my leg and then all of u pray again and abt 10pm I suddenly ...

you're 6 weeks pregnant This week, your baby is about the size of a small lentil bean. Her brain, muscles, and bones are beginning to take shape. Her hands and feet resemble little paddles, with thick webbing still in place between her developing fingers and toes. And her tiny heart has begun beating. Though you probably won't actually feel anything for another ten weeks or so, she's about to make her very first movements. - babycentre.com wkly rpt. _______________________________ weekend i tak langsung lekat kat pc.. i guess katil tu lah tempat yg indah, buat kerja rumah pun yg minimal aja. This morning, ive been serving few blogs and listen to the radio abt last friday APM. Tak lupa juga sms yg aku terima dari teman abt the bad sound system. Before aku start apa2 cuma ingin di ingatkan, standard kat sini mungkin barlainan sedikit dari majlis anugerah kat nusantara nih. Jadi kalau nak compare tu agak tak fair kot. aku cuma tonton kat tv ajer..walaupun expo tu dekat dgn r...

bila on radio jer .. semangat mamat dj2 semua abt tonite APM. i guess this is the biggest award ceremony kat sini kot .. sebab ia membabitkan 3 negara. Even pihak tv pun tak semeriah begini. Apa apa pun aku terpaksa melayan tekak yg sungguh tak best ini. aku bayangkan dlm badanku macam volcano yg tengah mengelegak. Bila2 jer bley muntah hehe tak kan aku nak kluarkan lahar plak kan? so pada smua, selamat hari jummat. Selamat menonpon APM ok. Kalau ada apa2 bley sms saya hehe. Have a good weekend. Hmmm .. tekak rasa macam nak minum fruit juice lah...

apsal lah hari ni terlalu banyak stats yg dtg tapi satu pun aku tak leh buat?? nih yg buat *nebes* nih!! hahaha kalah kan cekmi yg sit for final paper plak. I wonder where zuhrie is .. macam terus buang blog jer .. i still remembered ari ada sent me one email and sampai ke hari ni, aku tak terjawab. mungkin sajer dia dah lupa. Aku juga tahu jun mengharapkan berita dari aku, tapi aku terlalu tak de mood nak mengarang surat. Satu bendanya, hari ini aku pergi lunch.. so my darling baby tak lapar.. Im having the after taste symptom. Sungguh tak best sekali. Cos sungguh meloyakan tekak. And my pinggang sakit2 pulak, and how come i can see that i got tummy. Whoi! baru 2 bulan tak kan dah showing, cepat nah??? confuse aku! _______________________________ http://www.myheritage.com i went to the website to checkout which celebrity face looks like me. Among them are Rene Zellweger, K D lang (constant craving hehe) and Meggie Cheung. I know since skool days some of the kid used to call me Meg...

wah wah wah .. this time around, i tak tersilap haribulan lagik!!! at last 24 mar is coming. eh abg nuar and dayang baru jer sampai sini. im clinging to the radio just in case they got short interviews with any of the artists. This year, from malaysia i would love to watch Nuar lah. Wonder how he looks like now .. mana ke tau dia nyanyi lagu baru utk album baru maklum ler dah lama kot menyepi. Im sure orang macam i_mshe pun pasti tak tolak artist melayu macam Nuar nih. Abis J kene tolak tepi jab hehehe. Lagi satu i hope Adibah Noor will perform. I just can't get over the asam di laut song. Suara dia terlalu senonoh sampai tak leh jumpa cacat cela nya. This morning, i heard another song from Adibah and yup sungguh menyentuh. The song is abt ibu yang ingin melihat anak dia membesar tapi Allah lebih sayang kan anak tuuu - touching kan? .. dari indonesia pulak i would love to see Gigi.. lama tak tengok diorang or should i say armand. Cool gilos sey this one man!! tak lupa jugak...

door of happiness whats the story, morning glory? im hungry but not going anywhere to eat. told my baby let just eat the oatmeal biskut *ain style*. Its wet outside, maybe the downpour had stopped but am just too lazy to walk down ALONE. just now, few mins to noon i can't barely open my eyes. Told connie im gonna take a nap. But what do i know? Ian came and gimme some work and now i just can't get to sleep, dat is why am blogging. Few things in the "to do list" but ive in no mood to do it. I need to sleep or i'll get cranky just like little spoil brat showing tantrums. At who? haha no one. My tummy still growling and its crazy for me not to eat. Cian the little one inside. But i need to sleep lah!!

@ the beach yesterday after half a day building sand castle with dibdib and lovey we decided to head home. right before the 3 of us decided to take a short nap the doorbell rang. errrrggghh! "its not the right time for whoever that is" i told lovey. Well, as lovey when to open the door i took a peep from the living room .. hmm surprise surprise it was jun's nephew. He got something for me all the way from Melbourne. Funny, what could it be? i hv not heard form jun since i sent over her b'day gift. She gave me a table cloth and socks for dibdib. There was a letter attached too. I was glad she finally choose to write me a letter rather than kept me in the dark abt how she's been feeling. I guess tomorrow, i could spent some wonderful time writing to her and share with her the wonderful news!! ugghhh time to cleaning up, washing and cooking again!!

thursday, i dinch come to work. Maybe i worked / walked too much that i feel the muscles in my tummy "tegang". That morning when i was abt to take shower i got a shocked ove some changes in my body, i was breathless wearing my pants and my newly brought bra. Went to see doctor to re-confirm my status, got those folic acid and iron tables and MC. OUr normal GP wasn't around. Its was doctor faizal in the house. whosh!!! hmm a malay male doc, suddenly rasa cam segan plak. But i told myself what the heck just get it over jer lah... so yup yup yup, Alhamdulilah im 4 wks plus pregnant now!! It told Doc im working on Friday. He said "Nope, u not going to work tomorrow.. just rest or go shopping!" Issshhhh! got such doctor meh??? So here i am at home .. with dibdib. These days, i got no heart to marah him. Infact, I lay beside him till he fall asleep baru i tidur with lovey. I told him im having a tiny baby in my stomach, its gonna grow big and later dibdib will ge...

"You may not feel pregnant yet, but your body is going through miraculous changes. In your uterus, the ball of cells that will become your baby is dividing furiously. Though it's only about the size of a poppy seed, it's officially an embryo now. Are you feeling queasy yet?" for some reason, ive been feeling bit of discomfort every now and then. Im trying not to think to much but kengkadang macam sekarang nih rasa gubra gak. Connie said just hv faith in ur lord.. oh yes, i've been praying to Allah and talking to the little seed in me. I guess from now on the entry will be more on mommy stuff lah nih. Thinking abt me being pregnant sure makes my mind buzier than ever. What's with trying to eat healthy food, buying more panty liner, susu soya like awan and emmy suggested, thinking of who'll be my gynea, what am i gonna wear for this raya, utang puasa masih blum langsai, i keep on feeling tired at nite cian dibdib im not there to study with him. This 1st t...

i guess after reading cekya's blog.. this song from BonJovi suits the mood. Im not too sure what's happening? major break-up or what .. but it sure makes her sad these days. Sorry dear to see u like this. Cerita cinta nih tak de akhirnya kan? How abt kita back to basic? which means kalau nak pasangan lelaki yg baik banyakkan baca surah yufuf dan lukman dan pada yg lelaki baca surah mariam. Errr.. tak kan base on nama plak eh?? or maybe banyak kan baca surah Waqiah. Pendek jer surahnya.. kerana antara fadhilat surah Waqiah ialah murah rezeki. Rezeki dtg dlm macam2 faedah kan? so why not selagi kita hidup pun kita sibuk mencari rezeki jadi sambil tuu add lah lagik satu aktivi harian. Insyallah lagi barakah. im no master in love either but just remember bila bercinta jgn invest banyak sangat... takut bila dah banyak invest, lepas tuu tak bawak untung kita jugak yg bankrut!! oh well, like awan said in his blog .. "Macam jatuh di timpa malapetaka" tapi kalau di lihat ...

that's the kit i took the test yesterday and waited till nite to break the news to lovey. The next thing to do is to get the doctor confirmation, i suppose. Maybe tonite i'll go and see the doctor. In the meantime, i got moodz these days. Yup, i guess the sweet me is turning into dono what. I must have shocked the fella in the office when i gave him my straight face. To me, what he said last week was unacceptable and i bare grudges against him till today. Gosh! this wasn't me at all. Shanti was so excited that she broke the news to some of the colleague. I told them i haven't get doctor confirmation yet. Well, can the kit play tricks on me?? i dinch know leh.. well, looking at adib i feel so sentimelow. i love him so much and i don't want to neglect him. i guess, pregnancy does change me huh?

yesterday, i find solace sleeping in dibdib's room. Abt 4 yrs ago, i felt the same way too.. after a hard day of being the maid, i was feeling tired and crancky.. i ended up crying. Hey!! i used to do that 4 yrs ago too!! my sista in law (aka biras) told me according to the chinese gender table, this month will be a good time to have baby girl... or is it? i told lovey, its gonna be another dec baby if it happen and he said, "eh, kan kita dah booked Dec as out fav months" today, lovey said he got heart-burn ... errr ??? i look at the mirror and i don't have that everyday look. i was surprised when shanti commented that i look different .. i told her i noticed that too. i keep on telling myself, its all in the mind. Maybe i need to buy the kit to find it out. Wish me luck pple!! cos who knows, u might just be the next uncles' and aunties' ..

hati ku terlonjak gembira pagi ini setelah mendengar ceria tentang dirimu. sungguh pun pada mulanya aku tak sesemangat begini tapi seluruh jiwa mula melonjak ria. kau yang putih, kurus, tinggi ... slim river eh? kau yg berbudi bahasa pastinya menyenangkan mata tak ubah bagai setiap karya tulisan yang sungguh menarik jiwa. kau terlalu merendah diri dengan aksi segan dan malu mu dan kau lebih senang menyembunyikan dirimu dari aku bagai terhijab oleh tembok hitam itu. engkau kah itu sahabatku? apa itu?

this morning, I took 196 from suntec city to work. The bus was not crowded at all .. i saw empty sit and made my way there. Right after i settled that big butt of mine .. mak oiiiiiii!! bau apa nih kuatnyer ... its smell like minyak atar tumpah. Strong, so strong that can cause me migraine. I touched the seat, just in case ada bau .. but tak de.. i turned my head to the left, aik tak bau pulak ... then the person sat infront of me turned her head and i could see her face. She used thick make-up and fake eyelashes but the wringkle still visible to me. So i guess the makcik kat depan nih lah yg punya angkara.. pakai minyak atar tak ingat jiran sebelah. What a morning trip!! postsecret

i wanted to write but i don't abt what. do you? by postsecret its 5.30pm another just passed. early this morning, the 3 of us ( connie, shanti and me) had a jolly good time discusing abt our appraisal. The job scope and tasks that was done by us ... its gonna be our last year doing appraisal together. I had diffficulty focussing on the subject and sitting opposite me was connie. She was wearing her low cut body hugging t-shirt. I could see her full boobs *nice... very nice* In the afternoon, boss called the 3 of us to discuss abt our new tasks. We had it at Coffee Bean, International Plaza. Boss treat. Great life for now but not for long .. come april when shanti and connie move to another dept, Boss and me will be slogging our time venturing into more adventurous task. As for now, let me enjoy my days ... hv a good nite pple! *Cheers*

1) Chinese looking malay - tho i love black too but entah lah maybe chinese looking malay sounds closer and more realistic lah. Eg: My Mr Lovey hehehe 2) Dimple - its always nice to look at those with dimple.. a charmer gituk 3) Tall and broad shoulder - love to kiss the shoulder .. 4) The package - Islam dan beriman. someone ever told me that his ideal wife would be someone who is fully sculptured! when we broke off, i told him im looking for a husband who is fully sculptured and he dinch fit the category. i was so mean and hurt at that time but fully determined to find someone like that. 5) someone who loves me more than i love him!! - ini pesan ibu and yup, i ikut nasihat ibu 6) someone who i can talk to day and nite and still adore me 7) Reasonable - in everything .. panjang kot nak explain 8) lastly, someone who knows what i want before i get the chance to tell him. actually, right after marriage i dah tak pikir lagik pasal Mr Perfect nih. Even bila i terngigaukan si nuar atau si...

these days i got nothing to write, dats why i change blog template. i think i still like the white one better but entah lah gatal kot tangan nak carik kalor baru. i hope everybody else is doing just fine .. hidup sekarang macam bit individualistic lah .. tak heboh, tak kepoh, tak de cerita utk dibuat topik hangat .. mungkin jugak semua orang tengah hadapi syndrom yg sama. we shld come up with a name for it tau .. wtl - u bizi eh? cekmi - i miss danny so much tatot - u nie ada lesen drive ke tidak? cekya - i saw ur comment in cekmi's blog .. and i feel ... awan - how are u dearie, i tak larat nak email u lah i_mshe - u dah back to normal? zuhri - we shld call u "the tag man" sebab selalu kene tag hehe ligo - best tak kat umah jaga baby? kroll - where are u bro? ween - still missing him? ari - soon to be famous .. lis - u so the garang lah beb dzue - its march already, u dah tinggalkan Nippon? airain - are u coming home too? sape lagik eh???

i know i know im kindda late to congratulate my own blog .. haha but what to do at least im giving my blog a new look. What's with the belachan colour?? beats me .. i oso dono!! Anyway, happy exceeding 500 and thanks to all for stopping by all this while. Cheers!

once i start bizi .. am get too bizi!! monday boss coming and sesungguhnya aku nak tunjuk yg aku buat kerjalah .. hehehe guilty concious cos aku baru lepas nonton Gilmore Girls episode 14 hehe but something is bothering me lah. Few days back ada news abt a 10yr old boy yg lari dari rumah .. well, he came home eventually and he was sorry for making his mom worried, so case considered settled!! cos this boy want to have the freedom to look at the sky, sleep under the stars and stuff like that. .. anyway, yesterday there was news abt a 4 yr old girl (i think) went missing. Last nite, when we all when visiting my aunt and uncle we saw poster of another malay girl age 2 MISSING . She was last seen in McPherson area. Today the news appear in Straits Times.. what the hell is happening?? i know in the 80s when i was young, there were news abt pple kidnapping little kids and now its happen again ke? im worried!!

@alun whole day cracking my head doing nothing. Can u believe that? i got tonnes of work but nothing has been done so far. The Dept off to ClubMed and us in the office going bonkers! Yesh!! that's what happening around here.. only 5 of us all ladies in the office and each one are minding our own thots. The Film Gubra was rated 4/5 in yesterday straits times. Can't wait to watch.. Yesterday was lovey 32nd B'day .. p/s: Awan, aku hanya jalankan tanggungjawab sebagai sahabat. Dan nota di atas ialah utk peringatanku sendiri setiap kali aku kemari ... Terima Kasih kembali..