lunacy - di sini taman langitku

Closing ayah bank ac is a painful experience. Esp when im doing it alone. Sad. It is sadness and holding back tears cos i feel like one by one im eleminating him of what he had. Ya Allah.. forgive my ayah and ibu. Bless them with your rahmah, Ya Allah.

Exam's over. Alhamdulillah. Kimi needs to work harder in his arabic. Adib top in his composition, Alhamdulillah. We got invited to price giving ceremony for Adib. He was top in class last yr. Ameen Ya Allah. Adek n family is back fr London safe n happy. Alhamdulillah. A MK wallet for a change... Ayah is staying with Adek starting tonite after 4mths staying here with me. Lovey told me not to cry. I asked him why shld I? But reality was.. he knew me better. 1.3oam, I was awaken suddenly, hope ayah is ok. Worried.. Need all the energy n time to clean up the mess. Its getting too messy for ayah to be around. Ya Allah, please guide us along. Help us and protect us Ya Allah. Ameen.

What's look like something harmless like cataract opt now turned out to something serious cardiac and kidney. Poor ayah cooped up in hospital now he developed fever, body aching, shivering and point pain. In 2008, ayah refused to do bypass tho 3 of his main artery blockage and his heart function was only 32%. Now, 5 years gone by and Ayah's heart is functioning is with only 25%!!!. I wonder if I'm gonna lose my ayah soon too.

beberapa tapak menuju ke hujung tahun 2010, perasaan berputar alam mengenang dan terkenang peristiwa yang manis namun ada juga insiden yang 'menawarkan' keadaan dalam hubungan sesama insan. Hairan aku bagaiman keakrabaan terkadang disambar oleh perasaan yang memungkarkan keadaan. Setiap hubungan mestilah dibaja agar sentiasa malar segar tak ditelan waktu tapi seandainya apa yang disemai memang sudah tidak mampu untuk bertahan, akan aku redhakan saja. Biarlah ia berlalu, aku tak mampu memburu angin yang berlalu. Hari ini, tangal 29 December hari bersejarah buat aku & lovey. Kami diijab kabulkan sembilan tahun yang lalu. Maknanya lebih kurang 15 tahun aku sudah mengenali lovey. Tahun ini, dgn bantuan adik, aku hadiahkan lovey cincin dari Tiffany & Co. Agak terperanjat juga dia pada mulanya hihi 25 December lepas, genap lah 2 tahun ibuk meninggalkan kami. Menyambut seruan Illahi, pulang kepangkuan Yang Maha Kaya. Kehilangan masih tetap terasa, lebih2 lagi ayah. Pe...

last sunday was ayah's birthday. nope, we didn't celebrate or watever .. he don't want us to bring him for makan pun. so i buat jemput2 bawang that he happily eat ( i think). recently, i had a chat wif MIL. You know am a regular at her house now since she's helping to look after the kids while im at work. I was the one who spotted that somehow her neighbours dog urinated in front of MIL house and i was the one who knocked on the dog's owner dog to complaint about the matter. So back to my conversation with MIL, she said something abt Doakan .. it crossed my mind that it had been long i didn't doa for ayah. It got to do with something abt my DOA remain unaswered .. but i was determined to 'Love'. Watching Gubra last friday nite, inspired me even more .. if that was what Yasmin tried to tell me in her film .. why not .. DoA utk ayah was my way to show him my love. Smlm, somehow i felt like my doa came true. Alhamdulilah .. it didn't take ages like th...

i've never that eager to meet ayah. never in my entire life. but yesterday, ive rushed home wif 2 pkt rice for ayah and me. i hv not seen him since last week, ive been recuperating at home while my mind been wondering how was he doing at home. cik nanik said "ur ayah is a straight man, almost naive when it comes to love and most times, he's not sensitive to people but he's only sensitive to himself. i know that cos he's my brother. that was what cik nanik told me the other day. somehow, after ibuk's death i finally find to time to get to know my ayah. to be able to talk to him ALONE. alhmadulilah i reach home right on time, ayah was getting ready to go out. I told him i brought lunch!! so we chat .. chat and chat .. for 3 hrs. what i told him the other day, been eating him till madness .. thanks to me ofcourse. was i glad? was it pay back time now? or was i just too soft? the true fact is, im one of the TAIB's. Im just being 'em (perhaps) or being ib...