lunacy - di sini taman langitku

For the past days, ive been living and breathing in sadness. I cried when i was cooking. Cried to Allah in my prayers. Cried as I tried to lessen his pain. Even when I smiled, my heart was crying. Ya Allah, please take away all the sihr from his body. Please ya Allah.. make him well again Ya Allah. He's a kind man and a loving husband. He dedicated his life for his family. Ya Khaliqul Rahman,  please cure him. Have mercy on him and us. Forgive us for we have sinned. La hawlawala quwata illabilla...

Inilah kita. Kita hidup untuk each other. Everyday kita go thru life, sakit pening, suka dan duka with bersama dgn anak2 yang makin membesar. Anak2 semakin mengenali lenggok gaya kasih sayang kita sebagai satu keluarga. Aku sayang dia, mungkin dia tak percaya sbb aku tahu kasih sayang aku pada dia tak dapat menandinggi kasih sayang dia pada aku.  Itu aku tahu dan aku akur. Oleh itu, aku sentiasa berdoa pada Allah semoga dia diberikan kebahagian dan kesihatan di dunia dan akhirat.  Dia terlalu mengambil berat hingga selalu mengabaikan diri sendiri.  Ya Allah, kau bantulah aku, aku akan cuba membahagiakan dia. Semoga rumah tangga kami sentiasa diredhai dan dipelihara dalam suasana Islam dan jadikanlah kami hamba2mu yang sentiasa bersyukur. Amin.

beberapa tapak menuju ke hujung tahun 2010, perasaan berputar alam mengenang dan terkenang peristiwa yang manis namun ada juga insiden yang 'menawarkan' keadaan dalam hubungan sesama insan. Hairan aku bagaiman keakrabaan terkadang disambar oleh perasaan yang memungkarkan keadaan. Setiap hubungan mestilah dibaja agar sentiasa malar segar tak ditelan waktu tapi seandainya apa yang disemai memang sudah tidak mampu untuk bertahan, akan aku redhakan saja. Biarlah ia berlalu, aku tak mampu memburu angin yang berlalu. Hari ini, tangal 29 December hari bersejarah buat aku & lovey. Kami diijab kabulkan sembilan tahun yang lalu. Maknanya lebih kurang 15 tahun aku sudah mengenali lovey. Tahun ini, dgn bantuan adik, aku hadiahkan lovey cincin dari Tiffany & Co. Agak terperanjat juga dia pada mulanya hihi 25 December lepas, genap lah 2 tahun ibuk meninggalkan kami. Menyambut seruan Illahi, pulang kepangkuan Yang Maha Kaya. Kehilangan masih tetap terasa, lebih2 lagi ayah. Pe...

I will always have him around me even when I'm not in my best state. I love you Dear.

Our email: I wrote: He replied:

oh Aku Cinta Dia!! im in a situation that i cud almost 'physically' feel his love and yet i just don't know how to describe it in words.

oh btw, from the look on kimi's face doesn't look like dia kene chicken pox kan? i think these were some of the outstanding questions that left unaswered for awhile.Kimi had skin irritation so the red watery dots that left me emo was actually NOTHING *sigh*. But im thankful too i slept late last nite cos i watched Twilight New Moon on iphone alone till 1am. I guess the image of Edward Cullen's smilling while sort of proposing to Bella to marry him put me to bed at ease. Sleeping felt such a luxury with Lovey around ... he's my Edward Cullen Thank you Allah, Alhamdulilah

im in no position to understand everyone so as for now, i shall let it be. i was complaining to lovey about not having a watch sampai i sibuk shopping, lambat balik ofis. so i got a new one from him, Alhamdulilah. Bless him for the quick 'pick-up' to my hint. We passed by a watch shop and he told me to choose one, intead I told him to choose one for me .. i feel proud wearing something to his liking. Funny, i never feel like this before ..

Sunday morning i plan to sleep late and somehow lovey quitely and secretly cook nasi lemak for all of us. He watched me cook the 1st time, helped me with the cooking the 2nd time and on the 3rd time he did it on his own. It was amazing coming from someone with no cooking background except to cook rice and fried egg. Alhamdulilah, my sunday felt less tiring. Especially when he helped to iron our kids school uniforms while me coaching adib with his studies. Exam is coming, we hope Adib will perform better, Insyallah. This morning, after i finish ironing Lovey's uniform he said 'thank you'. i just smiled don't know what to say ... i never knew that a simple good night wish from my own sister mean so much to me. Infact, we had a fun- beautiful chat on the phone this morning. Alhamdulilah, all praise to Allah.

yes dear, if one day i meant to go first before you, do read this entry as the antidote to your sadness. i used to think that i could live alone. But i realised it now. Its hard to be on my feet without you by my side. this entry is specially dedicated to you Dear, my husband - the love of my life. You always make me feel loved. Its a funny feeling at first but i know now i could never live without you and your love. sometimes late at night i would hold your hand while you were sleeping and you were always ready to hold my hand tighly. Haha .. i don't know how you did it but it melt my heart everytime you did it.