hear my heart say..

eversince we brought ibuk to A&E last two weeks, her condition didnt change much. after she finished the whole dosage of medicine, she still weak. Last monday i was on half day pm to take care of my kids while adek brought ibuk for her doc appt @SGH. The doc couldnt find anything wrong in ibuk thru her blood sample, they recommended to admit her for more test. ibuk as expected, refused to be hospitalised. The lady Doc somehow got pissed and said " ok u signed this paper, am not going to prescribe u any medicine or give you any appt date. You are on ur own". How was that? Super attitude by a doctor!! Even the surgeon in Heart Centre could still 'tahan' wif my daddy negative attitude. A fren of adek recommanded her to bring ibuk to east shore hospital. Three diff test were conducted to find out what was wrong wif ibuk. In the meantime, she was given medicine .. hopefully, it help this time around.

On tuesday, i took leave to take care of my kids. Currently, i felt like im maintaning two household plus my two boys, ayah and ibuk. Can you imagine how my body felt when i finally get to rest my body at night?

Today, i took a.m leave. Im trying to let ibuk rest as much as she can ... its a suicide mode cos im burning my leave. i can imagine pple at work talking abt me and my leave, sometimes i wonder are they concern or just wanna bitch .. i really don't know the answer.. adib missed his bus today cos while waiting for his school bus he suddenly got the urge to do 'big business'. I had no choice but to send him to school by cab and took bus to work afterwards. I had a wonderlust journey to office. With earpiece plug in my ear, a book by JudeDeveraux (someone to love) in my hand .. i feel like im in heaven already. A song from Drive- 'bersama bintang' really hit well with my mood. Malencholy abis!!

In the office, I thank God for giving me such an understanding boss. She asked abt ibuk and i told her that i had been dwelling with the idea of resigning. Opsiee!! i guess, i drop the bomb already! Thank God its just atom not nukie .. so boss recommand me to take maid, which sounded like somebody else idea .. i told her my daddy won't like stranger in the house and my lovey can't run naked at home if we have maid in our house. help form other relatives or my in law, hmm they are all tight wif grandchildren. Childcare and aftercare - hmm not bad and lastly, no pay leave. She will support me in my decision .. it just that why waste my monthly income by quitting. I like her point. But hey, like she said a while ago " u still got ur leave".

im praying hard to Allah pls let ibuk be healthy again .. pls pls pls.. she's the love of our lives..