the after look..

Alhamdulilah ibuk had started her chemo last friday, she had a good sleep which she had not had for a long time. At home after chemo she slept and drenched with sweat. My fren said its one way for the toxic to get out of the system. We met Sharmila @ NCC. hmm a small world indeed, she was working at the pharmacist where ibuk had her Chemo. An update on ibuk condition, her liver was full of cancer. Her eyes looked bit of yellow, a sign of jaundice. Hopefully, with Chemo, all the unnecessary illness will fade off, Insyallah.

My greatest worry apart from ibuk would be Kimi. He had not adjusted well in MIL house. Last week 3 days stayed there for half a day, and he came up wif fever. Today, while he was playing in the room i quickly rushed out of the house. Ya Allah, my heart break to pieces.. its tearing my heart to smaller pieces when i heard he cried ova the phone. I dun care much. I cried under the shelter behind MIL's flat. I dun hv any tissue wif me and i dun hare .. i called lovey and continued crying. Lovey told me to be strong, but how can i when he such an adorable little sunshine to me. Lovey teased my saying "if adib is ibu Hero, what abt kimi?" i answered him by saying " he's my sweetheart". I linger for few minutes under the shelter and tried continued my journey to office. Heart helf like 'wanna resign righ away and run to MIL home to hug Kimi'. I kept telling myself, its Kimi napping time, he would drink his milk and sail to dreamland soon, by the time i woke up, Adib would be hope to play wif him. With heavy heart i walk to the MRT station and still searching for any shops that would sell tissue!! my face was wet wif tears .. ah! saw a toilet and used toilet paper instead. Desperate measured i would call it. SIL called to say, Kimi was drinking his milk and looked like he was going to sleep. Ahhh ... a release to my heavy heart. Finally, took train to office.

In the office, scan thru the emails......... read some, cried some. Colleague teased abt me doing part time now but came to a shocked abt Ibuk. Called me instantly and we both started crying.. spoke to shanti and cried like 'cina mati' that wud be (my mom's term, care to imagine?). Another colleague talked to me abt my halfday working hour and i shocked the Bride Groom to-be with my crying. Boss came back from lunch asked abt Ibuk and Kimi and i started to cried again.. Connie and Kak Ani came down with sunflowers to cheer me up .. we three cried some more.

got news from adek that everytime pple gone back from visiting ibuk, ibuk will cried .. oh dear, shld we banned pple from seeing ibuk??

Boss said wednesday can make afford to meet for lunch? ha!! its my birthday .. it thot it falls on friday : )

Can imagine my puffy eyes by now ..