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7 Syawal

7 tahun lalu, i gave birth to adib on 7 syawal- Happy Bday Adib.

Raya tahun ni datang, aku macam tak sedia nak sambut. Lovey ada misi sendiri. So aku abit on my 'own' gitu. Kengkabut nak buat macam2 tapi mostly tak terbuat sbbkan budak2 yang cukup melekat dgn ibunya (saye lah tu). Mlm raya, rumah jiran dah 'spakling clean' rumah aku penuh dgn trash bags nak buang kat tongsampah kat bawah. tensi abis.. aku sempat membaca jer pesanan demi pesanan ucap hari raya dan maaf zahir batin tapi aku tak terdaya nak balas pun. Maaf semua, macam kata jun dia raya ke-4 hari tu, mungkin terlupa nak makan booster utk otak!.

Di Pagi raya yang indah, seperti tahun2 yang sudah aku terlupa nak salam cium tangan suami terchinte. Hmm oleh kerana tensi aku yang yang sudah mulai meluap ketahap pencemaran, aku mula 'meraung-mengamuk-bertindak ganas'. ye, suami terchinte tersentak tak abis dlm 7 tahun hidup bersama. Sejak dulu lagi, aku jarang nak pointed out kesalahan orang, aku lebih suka menunggu waktu yang tepat ataupun terima dan redha dlm apa hal pun. Semua aku lakukan atas dasar kasih sayang. Tapi pagi itu aku dapat kekuatan entah dari mana utk berterung terang dlm tangisan, tak dapat aku bayangkan kesudahannya kalau pasangan aku terima reaksi aku dgn pengamatan yang -tive. Tapi syukur Alhamdulilah, dia tenang dgn pujukan. Dia terperanjat bila aku hilang my 'coolness'. Aku tak sorak menang krn aku tak pernah terfikir nak bertindak begitu tapi apa yang berlaku membuka mata aku dan dia. Dia jadi lebih prihatin and dgn perasaan aku. Hairan, pagi itu, aku bukan aku.

wtl - berita kehilangan ayahdamu mengejutkan aku dan mengingatkan yang aku perlu kembali bersama kawan2. Salam takziah dari aku sekeluarga. Selaku anak yang tua, banyak peranan kita nak 'mainkan' semoga kau terus tabah utk ibu dan adik2. Kami semua selalu dekat dgn mu wtl.

lis & ari - macam mana?

Comments

Yati WTL said…
terima kasih lun
aqriz said…
gitu lah lun, perasan, macam boiling water kot, kalau tak lift of the lid, sure meledak..

ada baik and buruk jugak kan.. :-p

perjalanan hidup..self discovery, every day..for you and me..
lunacy said…
wtl - wish i cud be there wif u

ligo - yes dear gurl, thanks for understanding. self discovery- maybe the worse of me? may Allah bless us all, Insyallah.

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