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blast - post no. 970

i wish i wud post that middle finger pic to show my anger just like mr mgr posted all the penyapu pics.

i wish i wud and i cud ..

ive been crying non stop. sedih.geram.outrage. my body was tired, my mind was tired, physically i felt tired, mentally and emotionally tired too. i think every part of my body was complaining of this tiredness. So why did i cry so much. was i sad, tired or mad? why did i curse and swear infront of ibuk and MIL??

Because I was accused of something that was not TRUE!!!

to everyone who cares for me, if u wanna know abt the true fact of ibuk, pls ask. But pls make sure that u hv all the time to listen to my story. If u can't be sure of that, its ok. Just take whatever i said but dun add any sugar and spice pls. It mess up my mind and my brain.

i juz came back from NCC. After being discharged from hospital, ibuk could not squad in the toilet. Her legs got heavy, she could not lifted her body from bed, her skin turned red and she purged on and off. The pain was unbearable and now her legs swell bit and she slurrrr... oh yes, dearest all. our lovely ibuk spoke thru her nasal. Doc said she slurrrr. Guess what Doc immediate response to all my complain??? he said "stop the chemo right away!! its too strong for ibuk. But in case ibuk sickness got bad, bring her to hospital right away .. hospital is open".

So u see, my hunch abt ibuk being admitted in a hospital was true after all. Her condition worsen and best thing was, the bone scan could not detect anything on ibuk angkle.

my furious and dissappointment came to a boiling point when i received an overseas call blasting me on something i didnt know abt. Oh yeah it hurt so much that i curse and swear and cry till i had enuf!!

to those who read this entry.. pls tell me u love me and sympathise wif me.. im so in need of TLC.

Comments

Anonymous said…
kak banyak bersabar k.manusia memang suka begitu.

hows ibuk nw?ok tak.i feel helpless cos i dunno wat to do to help ur ibuk to at least to ease her pain.but dont worry i wil keep praying for her k.

big HUG for u kak lun. i do love u,worried,cared and sympathise with u.be strong kak
The 6 of Us said…
So sorry to hear what you are going thru', dah kena worry about your mom, now add on pulak unnecessary criticisms from others. Walaupun menyakitkan hati and not easy to just ignore, do try. Anyway, what others say are not impt 'cos Allah knows your true intentions are good.
Anonymous said…
salam,

I am very angry on your behalf, too!
*hugs*
I know you'll do your solawat and zikr... may peace return to you...
Allah Maha Adil. He'll Return them what they deserve...

Wassalam...
Yati WTL said…
love...we knows u tried your very best for ibuk. just brush away what others say. they are not in your shoes..

sabar ya. every cloud has its silver lining.
lunacy said…
siti thank u so much dear. ur such a darling tau. ur prayers is all i need ;)

rahmah, thanks ya,Insyallah may Allah give me strength and hope. eh ur back to sg eh?? rahmah ur in biotech izit? wat u think of my mom's case eh? last nite my mom minum air and the air came out fr her nose .. so sedih tau.

salam Jah, thanks for sharing my anger. Alhamdulilah i re-collected myself and more compose now, yes with zikr and solat and support from pple around me including ur all..

yati sayang, thanks so much. i cant wait to see that silver lining!!
aqriz said…
Lun, sorry, lama tak singgah your blog.

sedih, nangis baca your entries ni...

Luv U.

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