lunacy - di sini taman langitku

Ibuk left us on chrismas day. So for the past 5yrs we visited her kubur on 25th Dec with ayah. On the 6th year, ayah too left us on 23rd Nov 2014. This year marked the 1st year ayah left and 7th for Ibuk. Visitting ibuk and ayah kubur felt like its time to let go what was in my mind. I hold the tombstone and told them about Adeena. As if they were there, comforting me. I guess its the only way to feel their existant "physically". Tho ayah and ibuk had been appearing in my dream quite a number of time.

Last night while all of us getting ready to sleep, Adib asked about how was Adeena doing. I told Adib to recite some surah from Quran and touched my tummy. True enough, baby Adeena started to move towards Adib voice and he could feel her moving. I told Adeena to move again and let Abang Adib to feel her and she did. Subhanallah, she such a wonderful baby. Even now when i am typing and waiting for fajr, she is kicking... grow well ya sayang. Grow healthily... we all love you, Adeena.

Alhamdulilah, we managed to squeeze time to bring the kids out of SG. Just to JB using public transport. Amazingly, i did not vomit at all while we stayed there. Alhamdulilah, i managed to eat and sleep well. But coming back to SG, my vomitting started again... Alhamdulilah we planned early cos by now the causeway was too messed up with jam!

few days ago, I found the courage to tell my gynea of our decision. Alhamdulilah, im doing this for Allah. May Allah ease this pragnancy and moving forward. The clinic asst called up and told me i was really brave. Subhanallah Tabarakallah.. i am not actually but as long as im doing it for Allah, Insyallah.. it would be the right way. I would love to get as many doa/prayers for baby Adeena. Apart from that, Husband had been wonderfully taking care and pampering me. Subhanallah... sometimes his gastures was just too sweet that i felt like crying. Adeena sayang... grow well and keep on improving your health ya sayang... be strong. May you grow as strong as Abg Adib and Abg Kimi ya.

My dearest Adeena Yesterday 15 Dec 2015, when Ayah and Ibu told your abang Adib and Abang Kimi about the complications that doctor found from the detail scan, abang Kimi cried the whole day and night. Ibu had to stay strong cos both Ayah and Abang Kimi were so devastated. Abang Adib was sad but not as bad at least ibu has one less person to worry about. Today, Dr Chandra called Ibu to ask what will be Ibu desicion. Based on Dr opinion its best to terminate you, Adeena. Ya Allah, how on earth can ibu do that to you, sayang. Your life is not in my hand but Allah. If Allah said its time for you to go, Ibu redha sayang. But to take you away from this world is something that I cannot do. Period!. So today, Ibu told ayah that we have to continue our lives instead of crying thingking that we could lose you anytime. We called Kiki and Thea so all of us could clean up Yayi house at Haig Road. When Kiki asked about the detail scan while we where in the car, Ibu could see ayah tears rollin...

         My dearest darling Adeena, stay strong- Healthy-Grow well ya. We love u so much...

Years back we have been trying for a third child but with no luck. This year, Kimi been telling me how much he wants a baby sister. Alhamdulilah, last Aug I've conceived and now I'm 21 weeks pragnant. My guts been telling me that its going to be a girl this time and the name Adeena came to mind. While years back we wanted to much to have baby Hana. So the name Hana Adeena soon will become reality.