lunacy - di sini taman langitku

  gambar kesukaan ku buat masa ini. Ibuk kelihatan manis sekali..dibelakang ialah adik bungsu ibuk terima kasih semua .. suddenly terasa diri ni tak sendir. Ramai teman & sahabat berkirim doa dan kata2 perangsang utk kami sekeluarga. it was a good thing to be away for a day from ibuk. at least she didnt get to see mata aku yg bengkak nih. nangis sampai ke demam. Last nite, when to see a GP.. nak pakat to get MCs. Bila dia tanya ada sesapa dlm family yg demam? aku pun berceritalah tentang Bundaku. Tanpa segan lagi aku menangis lagik.. doc berikan aku tissue sementara lovey mengusap belakangku. Bila terpaksa bersemuka dgn penyakit begini .. rasanya jangka masa hidup yg bagaimana yg memuaskan hati?? Kalau setakat 1,2 atau 3 tahun tuu mencukupi tak?? Ya Allah, sesungguhnya aku lebih rela pergi dulu sebelum ibuk, tapi itu bermakna ibuk terpaksa kehilangan seorang lagi anaknya. Ya Allah, kenapa tak kau pangjangkan usia ibuk sehingga aku sedia melihat dia pergi. Subhanallah, kenapa...

  ... kau begitu SEMPURNA ... ibunda tercinta, yang teratas dalam hidup..yang aku sanggup buat apa saja untuk dia.. smlm kami mendapat tahu tentang ibu menerusi ujian CT scan yg dilakukan. there is a malignant on ibu left breast. two more somewhere on her stomach and small ones on her liver.. doc said i doesnt look good at all. we are all in total shock. we all been crying behind her.. we want her to be strong yet we all fail to do so. Air mata mencurah bila bila masa saja.. kesedihan aku dah tak boleh ditahan. kali ini aku benar2 kalah.. mana mungkin?? ini kan ibu kita semua. ini kan ibu aku!! lovey nangis mlm semalam while driving from haig rd all the way to Pa.ris. lovey kata, kenapa Allah tak abis abis menguji kita. Kuat sangat ke kita ni?? kalau lovey begitu lagi kan aku dan adik.. lagi kan ibu yg menanggungnya.. ibu kata tumbuhan itu tak sakit.. sebab tu dia rahsiakan saja dari kami semua. Ya rabbi.. we are now waiting for appt at national cancer centre. tak boleh patah ha...

i came back to ofis today.. but worried sick of my mom back home. saw her mencuci baju this morning. told her to drop everything .. i will continue when i come home. Call her again .. she wasnt feeling too well. Told her am coming home now and will bring u to hospital, is that alright? she said 'boleh lah'. i told her dun change ur mind again k. ok go and get ready .. so pple .. if you love me enuf pls pray for my mom's health in your daily prayer. i really appreciate that. lots of love

eversince we brought ibuk to A&E last two weeks, her condition didnt change much. after she finished the whole dosage of medicine, she still weak. Last monday i was on half day pm to take care of my kids while adek brought ibuk for her doc appt @SGH. The doc couldnt find anything wrong in ibuk thru her blood sample, they recommended to admit her for more test. ibuk as expected, refused to be hospitalised. The lady Doc somehow got pissed and said " ok u signed this paper, am not going to prescribe u any medicine or give you any appt date. You are on ur own". How was that? Super attitude by a doctor!! Even the surgeon in Heart Centre could still 'tahan' wif my daddy negative attitude. A fren of adek recommanded her to bring ibuk to east shore hospital. Three diff test were conducted to find out what was wrong wif ibuk. In the meantime, she was given medicine .. hopefully, it help this time around. On tuesday, i took leave to take care of my kids. Currentl...

Thanks siti, am still not so ok lah. Coughing a lot these days .. if only i could cabut balik umah 'owhhh how shweeett'. I want to bobok long long after taking my cough mixture hehehe. U take care too and rajin2 blajar kat sana tau, Jangan bz check out the matz jer... another wedding to attend this weekend, owh! wat else to wear eh?? three weeks in row i kene attend wedding. ish... penat & panas am sick but still in high spirit. I aint that lonely. funny how 'bahagia' i felt yesterday while walking alone behind bestway building. Its a lonely path but i was happy. Funny isn't it? even when shan kept on promising to lunch wif me but so far 'elek'. In fact, last friday, a colleague of mine happily told me that she went out wif shan and i was cool about it. No hard feeling lah.. and shan said someone been reading my blog just to find out more abt her. Ish! oh well, to that someone, just bare in mind not everything u read here is 100% genuine, ok b...

i think im coming down wif flu. head spinning. throat iching. nose leaking. hehehe recently a fren of mine, Ani was rushed to A&E after she took panadol bcos of her headache. It was a moment of life and death she said. Her eyes swelled, she was breathless and eyes blurred. Her husband dropped their initial plan to go clinic and straight away called the paramadeci for help. Alhamdulilah, its all due to drug allegy and nothing else. She is fine now resting at home. I met her last saturday, she looked her usual self. That is one good news. Unlike ibuk, who is still weak. She easily tired these days. I wish ayah could be more understanding hmmm ... i realised that kimi loves books especially on animals. But i also noticed that he got quite a bit of temper. Last few weeks, a 3 yrs old boy shouted in front of kimi's face. Kimi's immediate action was "arrrrggghhh". Yup, he actually roar like a lion as loud as he could. The boy walk away .... Oh my, another ...

alahai apsal hari ni aku rasa penat jer nak type. mungkin aku tengah risau. mungkin kerana dah rejab dan aku baru nak qada' posa. mungkin kerana kerisauan aku sehingga aku ada ura-ura nak ambik cuti tanpa gaji ataupun cuti terus dan jadi ibu rumahtangga. tapi aku rasa kesian pulak dgn ayah ibuk sbb kalau aku tak kerja berkurangan lah duit bulanan mereka. ok lah kita tengok gambar jer lah ye... last wednesday, at SGH A&E hehehe .. last saturday, had fabulous time spending the day wif the kids. They said it was the most wonderful day of their lives. Alhamdulilah.. anak kecil, MacD dan Gincu pun jadi lah... hehehe

beberapa minggu ini ibuk asyik tidak sihat. Oleh kerana sudah terlalu lama keadaan ibuk tidak boleh diambil lewa .. kami semua bawa ibu ke A&E. Alhamduliah ibuk ok except for the lung infection. Alhamdulilah .. i hope and pray my lil monsters at home dinch bully their nyai. Our visit to hospital continued wif ayah's check up @ the Heart Centre. It wasn't the best way to spend my days but like my boss said 'its our duty as daughter'. im thankful to lovey for his understand and care. He was the one drive us here and there. Tho he was on MC himself. That was how our lives been these days, instead of resting, there seemed to be 1001 things to take care of. May Allah bless us and grant us 'sabran jamilan' in our lives. Musabaqah on tv1 had to give way to Suria cos it was the nite of Anugerah Band. Armand Maulana was one of the guest judges. Oh dear!! how cool can that be?? his short version of 11 January was so good plus with Eddie Cradle's magica...

last two Saturday, kimi trapped inside our car. it all happened when adib and me were trying our best to finish our cone ice-cream at the carpark. I told lovey to look after kimi who was bz walking in the carpark. The daddy picked kimi up, open the car door and start the engine .. he switched on the aircon and closed the car door. One thing that daddy forgot abt little kimi was .. he liked to pressed buttons and that included the car door locked buttons!! i saw lovey bend down and told kimi to pull up something .. i got near the car and my worst nightmare started. I could not believe it .. my chest got so tight and i practically trying to breath and at the same time told lovey that kimi did not know how to pull up the locked yet. Yes my dearest frens .. kimi locked himself in the car by pressing the main lock button. Goodness!! by then lovey was as panicked as i was. i told adib to finish the ice-cream fast cos we got to find ways to open the car doors for kimi. all of us sta...

smlm aku terima sms dari Jon.au. Dari SG dia terus sambung bercuti snow trip katanya. Entah ke gunung mana lah tuu dia pergi agaknye ye .. katanya dia nangis sedih bila baca entry yang aku tulis. Utk Jon.au, sorry lah dearie tak bermaksud pun nak bagi u nangis .. walaupun i suka buat benda2 yg touch pple heart nih (sengaja jugak lah tuu huhu). My last collage posted sebagai kenangan gambar2 duetzz yang manja2 belaka. this whole episode shall stop here. Kenangan manis kau dan aku tak kan terluput (familiar tak bunyinya ?) semua dah pun tersemat dlm hati, otak, foto & blog, Alhamdulilah.