lunacy - di sini taman langitku

pagi tadi sebak dada bila dengar radio abt pertemuan anak & bapak for the first time after 30 yrs. lepas tu berkumandang pulak lagu "ayah" by khaty ibrahim. sebak sesak senak - pernafasan. bila lun toleh ke kanan.. lun tengok lovey yg sedang memandu dah basah kuyup dgn airmata. yes, cukup sedih it makes us think abt our relationship with our very own parents. lovey suggested i sing the "ayah" song for my father (knowing how "close" we are) i told him i dah pernah; i think. But not infront of him... i just dedicated the song to my ayah and start singging when i was very young years ago... to many sob stories lah over the radio today. i guess menambahkan keheningan pagi Jumaat yg penuh barakah ini. shanti said she'll be bring'in Vittesh to see a PD for baby today. I pray for the good news. Thanks i_mshe for the comments. eh lama tak dengar cerita gurl, tak sangka eh dah maulid nabi lagi.. ingat tak last year kita gie baca maulid?? aku ...

scene 1: before she left yesterday she passed a remark to me "oh office time blog and after office work work huh?" scene 2: after lunch with boss. she throw out twice and ceri-beri too and she said "i told you before i think the food is not ha*** that's why im like this" scene 3: why did u say that for? i said nothing (cos the djs in the radio always say such thing, i said in my heart) "cuma those yg tak de Otak jer said something but didn't mean it" scene 4: me: ouch!! ouch!! ouch!!! u see.. with the workload that im having now, i need ur love and tenderness to go thru my everyday life. especially am going down with flu like anytime cos been trying to combat the fever by swallowing penedol for the past 2 days. keep those harsh words away from me lah.. *phone ring* shanti called. from her voice i can sense that something is not rite.. she said, doctor said her baby might not be able to hear. *gulp* lunacy did her best to re...

today i forgot to look at myself. oh well, thank God everything match. i like to mix & match my clothes haha cheap way not to buy too many clothes lah.. so dats why, today terlupa nak tengok wether the color match ke tak hehehe.. sweet green and light brown pants match my green&brown bangles. me bizi cam aper lah kat ofis. this morning my hand was all cold b'cos something wrong with the figures that im working on. hish! thanks lovey for the doa.. Alhamdulilah i get it done at last. i just realise that there's a little space where i can pin all my postcards (re-decorated my workstation lah). so just did it and i pin a small brown paperbag from Body Shop that says "Against Animal Testing - YES!". Oh yes, now am finding ideas to do wedding card for lovey's brother too. on the serious note, bapak got high fever. smlm we all gie ziarah... hmm, i dun think he's that well to sit and layan cucu l but he did. u know, perasaan orang tua yg spirit high...

as usual i was in the office but i duno abt the joke. i on my hp yesterday (tho im in the office) just in case u'll sms. i wouldn't want to disturb you and i hv confident ur baby will be ok since ur taking him to the clinic. again, no jokes came to my ears at all.. since yesterday i was down with lots of stats. so relek ar gurl apa ni sedih2..me here wat.. rite beside u. i came in early (5 mins before 8) and asked how u doing and see lah what kindda answer i got hump! hv u ever tot why i didn't ask abt ur baby first? cos i'll know u'll be the one who needs the attention and rest after taking care of ur baby yesterday... haiyok gurl!! am ur fren here talk to me lah.. asal masam muka nie?? and... u want me to ask "them" to clear the thin air...and apologise to u? i can... lots of love.. me

i heard her voice on my voice mails. heh, i never delete her voice from the machine.. just in case i miss her.. a screen capture of how she looks like in my mind is never enuf. ah!! i miss her again. sunday, i had this urge to give her a call. i tot i need to register for IDD or something before i can make an overseas call but Walla!! i was suddenly connected to Melbourne thru my hp. hehehe.. i call jun- my buddy good fren whose now living im melbourne. ah by the way she was nice enuf (as usual) to return my call cos she said it'll be too costly for me if i didn't have IDD. (wats IDD anyway??) had a nice long chat with her.. it feels like ol days and she sounded so close.. and she read my blog every now and then. heh, thanks gurl .. i love u . been thinking a lot abt what we talked lah jun. i duno, ur concern ova what happened to our land makes me feel like i wanna be bit defensive plak. u asked me what happen to our land? for sure its ain't like "neverland" jun. ...

its friday, cam mana i try not to blog but kejap2 terblog jugak.. awan is posting another interesting entry itu pun sempat baca sepintas lalu jer.. danny is back again, aisey man got a new portfolio lagik well, with the extra $$ bley lah pasang broadband kat umah. hehehe... mana ke tau some nites kita smua bley berjumpa dan ber"ym" bersama.. am sure tatot would love to sing u a song for u; danny. she sang few songs for me already... im doing too many statistics (stats) sampai nak sakit mata. ni pun kita blum start yg major Stats... which is for our organization nyer annual report. brb brb brb... ponat den!! anyway, tadi bila nak email some stats to a colleague i tertype his name adren goh, lepas tuu terperasan salah tu spelling so re-type again adrina goh. bila dah sent the email baru terperasan typo lagik lah.. its suppose to be adrian goh. itulah halnye bila mata dah sakit & ponat. anyway, weekend dtg berkunjung lagik... hv a nice time lazing aroung ya! sunday kat tv...

i miss baca maulid. masa kecik2 dulu orang baca maulid jun & me will sure tidur..skang nie plak tak abis2 mengharapkan agar dapat undangan ke majlis maulid untuk sama2 berselawat & salam utk kekasih Allah. hari ni Insyallah lun puasa..tapi kan lun lupa actually today ada farewell lunch with a colleague. Haiyok!! amacam??

bizi semacam hari ni answering calls after calls. u ols ingat lagik tak few months back i was bizi with my programming stuff? well its now open for the public to use and user tak abis2 call for help. i guess its teething problems but haiyok!! ponat den.. pagi tadi reading thru few blogs.. ~ reading awan's entry me rasa relek ajer maybe at this moment blum ada yg mencabar kesabaran kot. tho banyak yg tak disukai tapi being me; yg most of the time bersifat passimis.. i think i just cebek muka jer lah. like tadi masa lunch, i saw this women pakai baju yg see thru ish ish ish.. nice bra u got there lady. obviously i dun like it but hehehe gasak kau lah nak..but im sure awan must be referring to a better and heavier scenarios...ah lagi satu... aritu awan said something abt Adren and internet, apa tu i tak paham dah..still tak paham sampai hari ni.. ~ wtl, i hope u get to do ur masters together with him. hehehe, sound so romantic lah sis. and am a sucker for romance .. ~ cekya, ur geram ...

in the country govt finally makes its annoucement to build casinos in s'pore. me just can't be bothered anymore, too many social problems going on and why not just add more channels to the existing problems? the more the meriah ka? Quotes from Minister in Charge of Muslim Affairs yesterday "If we go down that road, then should we ban abortion or the use of condoms because some religious groups are against them? Or, should we ban the sale of meat in line with the convictions of groups who believe that animals should not be slaughtered for food?" ... and a lot more. this morning plaks my adik said this with full of sarcasm "eh, casino dah halal eh?" in my head this morning, read thru WTL's khazanah. sajer nak tahu more abt her. i think her writing was more natural and open abt herself dari yg sekarang. maybe malu kot kerana crew anak kapal dah semakin bertambah? well WTL, mungkin saje kapal kita akan mengalami nasib serupa titanic. Yang penting kita ter...

at last it is lunch time *PC time check 12.03pm*... tho' the official lunch hour is 12.30pm hehe why bother? time to blog lah. as usual lovey morning shift so lintang pukang lah bersiap utk ke umah ibuk. Siap punyer siap tau tau jer terlupa satu benda hehehe... i brought my top but no pants. Cam ne nak ke opis? heh, tak kuasa nak panic so i plan to borrow ibuks punyer ajer.. but ibuk asked me to check her cupboard, i might have extra pants there. heh true enuf .. my long lost navy blue pants. so today, no choice lah green top with blue pants. combination still oks.. huhu lepas tu plaks, late to work as usual. Miss a bus.. the next bus came late.. hahah redha ajer lah.. but had a nice chat with adik along the journey. Alighted from the bus ajer terus lari cos dun wanna miss the traffic light. Phew.. but got this stupid man walking towards my direction while his head keep on turning back. Me on the other side are rushing to office and what do u know... boom!! he bump into me!!! urrgh...

HK she's happy to follow her hubby to HK. heh.. she said maybe berkat doa "kita" that afternoon. i dono sis. But i know ur happy to be with him. It was kindda awkward for me to be close to u around ur family.. heh, that's why i senyum2 ajer. and u sis.. dah sampai boarding area baru teringat me ye?? lupa nak salam .. (oit, dun i deserve hug & kisses too?") but im cool sis. thanks for the call. it melt my heart... but then again its not the first times things like this happened to me. am quite fine with it. hv a good time there sis.

i would never guess that she would sing for me last nite... accustic version ar. that's cool sangat. makes me feel young hehehe. For the past 2 nites, lun been "ym" ngan tatot. yeap, our dearie tatot. entah cam mana, she's the only one yg online so we berbual and ketawa guling guling. kita tak buat date punnnn just kebetulan.. and last nite, i get to hear her voice huhu... she gentel her guitar and sing. auuuuwwww sweeet lah tatot ala ala sheryl crow!! ... thanks for the company. great girl. great kaki. great voice and great talent. hope u find a great guy just for u.. eh tot, i slept happily lah no nitemares over ur voice... oh yeah, actually smlm masa u nyanyi 2 steps behind.. i jadi seram sejuk cos i was alone in the room, oui!!! malam jumaat lah...heh. next time, hope to see more of u guys online. the more the meriah kan? hv a nice weekend. to WTL aka Suxxxxx Happy Brithday in Advance gurl!! semoga hidup lebih gembira & indah bersama tema...

yesterday out of boredom (exaggerate ajer..) i told Captain to send us a postcard cos his crew misses him so much and we all are stress with work. He said he misses us all too and will send a postcard very soon. hmmm... was telling tatot last nite dunno how soon is "his soon". Sorry for the ngumpat brader, i smile big big.. bila received a postcard from you. Hope the rest of the crew like it too. tho' he sound so notti kasi jelos kita yg everyday kene kerja.. hehe ah, my anonymous sista is going to Hong Kong hik hik hik... jgn lupa pergi kawloon ye... esok my very "the sayang" cousin nak tunang. Ayah & ibuk jadi wakil for our rombongan. . Anyway, found a bakul yg cute utk letak buah... hehehe lun pun ikut excited nih... I heard the hantaran is $7777. hmm asal seven? lucky seven or the seven deadly sin? anyway, i love seven. its my fav. number. What's urs anyway...

yesterday doc appt sungguh tidak memerangsangkan. good news the surgeon said lovey don't need any operation or watsoever for his leg. But the bad news is, not much can be done. urrrhg! bley cam gitu? But the 3 of us had a good time after that makan ayam di KFC. Dibdib loves mash potatoes sesangat... Went to ibuk house and sempat watch "Lost in Translation". Its abt 2 american in tokyo. ahhhh!! im game for anything associated with japan. Mlm pulak sempat tengok Jap dorama a must watch cos ada Takuya Kimura!! reading thru the comments by fellow bloggers makes me feel good. heh, i don't need people to understand me to be my frens. am lucky enuf to have frens.. and am truly lucky to have u guys. Few stuff in my head but am gonna let it pass.. no point wondering too much abt people close by. WTL , sista my dearie sista.. sory cant help u much. i hope he get in touch with u very soon. tatot, tak caya tak caya.. but glad to find u. rock'on beb cekya, always...

am suppose to be happy cos today, i get my performance bonus, dibdib turning 2yrs4mths. today, am not in the office. lovey got doc appt for his leg and the 3 of us are going later. today, i dono how to feel anymore. my feeling is kindda blank. maybe its too early to tell. maybe a cup of nescafe will cheer me up. goodness this feeling that am having now is killing me. i feel "so dead" yet alive. i hope people dun take my writting seriously cos it might be overly exaggerated u might get misunderstood. all in all am ok just the lunacy part is coming again...

i just had a good cry. it was a long due cry. last year painful memory. was trying very hard not to alert the person over the side of the phone. feel better now. been wanting so much to eat mushroom swiss burger and she bought it for me yesterday. been wanting so much to get away for a holiday and she's offering it to me today. appreciate what she did this time. will this june trip come true? no more bitching mouth please, cos i had it! had it till am gonna puke remembering the past. ah, OC episode 4 was great. and so was that 70's show . spend my lunch hour watching these two.. very anti social huh?

its monday and im late again. ibuk called and asked apa kes? hehehe kes yg biasa2 ajer.. hal ehwal dlm negeri yg tak kunjung abis terima terima terima ajer lah. saturday, our financial planner came and we did our planning. Yawn yawn.. ngantuknyer!! ive forgotten abt a lot of things. Like our objective of having a $1.1M by the time lovey & me retired. so in this coming 31 years we need to slog harder.. kerja giler but itulah kenyataan abt living in a place i call home. errrrhhhh rumah ku berharga $360m tapi cuma sekadar 139 sqm ( ajer...err unit "sqm" tu btul ke? ) bayangkan what i can do if i go overseas hahaha seberang laut ajer ke M'sia perhaps... i'll get a BIG house!! me just spoken to Felicity yg baru balik dari KL atas urusan kerja. Abt 6 wks she and the gang kat sana. Tinggal di hotel bukit bintang ( dia kata ceiling got leaking and toilet ada problem ). But still diorang riang ria di sana. Tak dapat berjumpa Datuk too high up lah but Dato' s adelah.....

this morning while adib and me were playing lego i got a call from KL. hehe.. enigma called rupanya. sorry sis bukan aku tak excited with ur call cuma i can't concentrate talking to u while adib keep on tugging my hand cos he wanted me to build something for him... heh, si enigma ni was ceria meria ajer.. she called me b'cos her lover pepagi buta dah tunjuk perasaan bukak lagu matallica & G'n'R.. so enigma tak leh tahan sungguh teringatkan lun di temasek tu yg dia call. thanks sis, appreciate it sesangat.. ingat jugak kau pada aku ye..

its friday again. one more hour to go and im out from this place. at last i bought a shoe tadi. been searching for a nice pair of shoe (low heel) and tadi baru jumpa. hope this one good lah. i was so excited that i didn't check on the price .. tau tau jer dah nak bayar... giler kan? anyway, im using the hangboa money yang autie toilet tu hadiah kan last chinese new year and tokok yg lebihnyer... sambil shopping lunch hour tadi, sempat bertanya khabar my brader. He's on leave skarang nie. ok lah brader hope u get to do what u plan to do... i tease him a bit and terus tak jawab. hmmm.. dats him, irritating at times haha but maybe im irritating too. Anyway, tadi pagi i went to work with adik again after what happen yesterday. its either she can't be bothered with my anger or tak kuasa abt the whole thing. ahhh adik bradik what do you expect? simpat dlm kocek ajer lah apa2 yg tersemat tuu. tadi masa berbual dgn shanti, i asked her to do something to her fren and she said ...

dibdib is having fever so more or less lun macam Bai Jaga lah malam tadi tho fever was not high still tak tenteram nak tidur. In the middle of the nite, i asked dibdib if he wanna take his medicine and he said yes so gie lah ambik obat demam and selsema dia. woke up abt 5 and do the necessary but still late to leave the house. heh... no, i don't need 30 mins to stare at the mirror unlike our Captain hihi .. reach ibuk house, adik masih blum siap alamak *tepuk dahi berjuta kali* am gonna be late again!! dibdib plak tak mau berenggang ngan lun aiyoooo *tepuk dahi lagikkkk* (ikut style cekya). so on and on... bus came abt 5 mins before 8. Champion kan? start kerja kut 8 pagi mind u.... kat bus tu adalah berbual2 manja dgn adik, yada yada yada and yes, akhirnya sampai my office. Before alighting tuu adik cakap chelsea beat bayern munich 4-2 but lun tak dengar so i asked lah "ah?" adek binggit and repeat again lepas tuu lun cam ternampak ada jari yg ternaik... hmmm is th...

its a heavy downpour outside and i just feel like blogging abt rain. i love rainy day i love watching rain from inside a bus.. i love walking in the rain and sing "i remember u" a ballad from Skidrow when i was young, rainy day makes me wish i have someone to cuddle when i was young, walking in rainy day makes me feel sexy when i was young, rainy day reminded me of the song " hujan yg turun bersama air mata... " i once know a guy, he said rainy day makes him horny hahaha there goes my days of being wild ... leave u with part of the song: i remember u - skidrow Woke up to the sound of pouring rain The wind would whisper and I'd think of you And all the tears you cried that called my name And when you needed me I came through I paint a picture of the days gone by Then love went blind and you would make me see I'd stare a lifetime into your eyes So that I knew that you were there for me Time after time you were there for me Remember yesterday Walking hand in h...

pagi nie, sejuk.. entah dah berapa hari ni badan asyik sejuk ajer.. nak sakit kot .. and this morning, whole body aching pinggang cam nak patah.. before gi kerja tadi, lun suruh ibuk letak minyak skit kat pinggang... haiyok, baru prasan.. my perfume dah tukar jadi bau minyak urut plaksss.. someone is coming back to kl... maybe dah nak sampai pun by now. heh, welcome back Brader. Apsal tak mau drive terus ke kota singa ajer? oh yeah, shanti my sister, senior, partner, fren & my siamese twin is back to office last monday. this morning, dia senyap jer, when i talked to her she cam layan bolayan like dat. She said her weekend was alright so i decided to leave her alone. actually, with the promo im a bit "up" dari dia. feel bad pun ada jugak another kakak also was hoping for the promo.. so i feel cam tercepit cos both are my closer fren and me yg junior di dapat naik .. so skang nie dlm cuaca yg sejuk, suasana opis pun turut sejok jugek. while we were doing our work in silence...

hope blog didn't play any fool joke on me again! 2 entries on 1st apr gone tho' i can see it thru the dashboard. my knees are now blue & black due to what happened to me last friday... hopefully the entries would appear soon or else.. but maybe some news are not meant for sharing. i duno God knows what's best so i think i better leave it just there. Adren, cool stuff u got there..love the song and the clip so heartbreaking. Hope u & awan had a good weekend. Yesterday at home cooking, cleaning & washing. the typical weekend stuff. eh but not bad dapat tengok takeshi kaneshiro in this J-dorama where he bowled. watched that before but hey... i love the chap. and today over at chU ada "turn right turn left" that one i never watch before and doublt i can watch it today cos will be heading to mak's place later.. its a family thinggy lah. . Ooh well, better get going dibdib is learning how to count...

this morning late to work.. bila dah sampai rumah ibuk .. lun carrying adib and adib's bag berlari di tangga tau tau jer lun ter"STOP". know what happen? i tersandung anak tangga and adib resting on the staircase while my two knee knocked kat bucu tangga uwwwaaahhhh ... i look behind saw lovey in the car, he didn't see me. i called up ibuk for help!! my adek came and said "asal ngada2 panggil ibuk nie?" before she saw what happened. Adik plak was carrying her bag, file, sweater and sarapan for me & lovey.. mahu tak mahu kenelah collect all my strength and carry adib yg still in shocked to ibuk's house. Jgn worry smua, adib still ok.. tak terhantuk pun cos am still holding him tight!! bila sampai opis.. both lutut saaaakiiiitttt....

am so happy da.... appraisal letter in my hand. great news to share with all of u and thanks for the doa...i got what i wanted Alhamdulilah lovey brought dibdib with him to fetch me from office for the first time.. hehe and i got good news to share with them... Alhamdulilah.. thanks to all for the doa esp to lovey, ibu & mak. ada sesapa watch forum perdana tadi?? today's discussion: pesan ibu