Sunday, December 10, 2017

Ruang

Alhamdulilah, aku masih ada ruang utk berbicara tanpa melukakan hati siapa-siapa. Di sini lah taman langitku .. taman utk aku meluahkan rasa.

Kebelakangan ini aku sering sakit. Sakit kepala, sakit jiwa dan raga. Sakit hati dan perassan. Ya Allah, apakah ini kehidupan ibu dulu dan sekarang aku juga melaluinya ...

Kadang-kadang hati ini iri dengan kehidupan orang lain ... Astaghfirullah alazim ..

Ya Allah bantu aku ..

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Doa

Tadi kat kelas .. Kak Jun mintak ustaz bacakan doa utk aku dan Dewi. Panjang doa ustaz buat kami. Amiin amiin amiin .. semoga dimakbulkan oleh Allah.

Rindu hati dgn adik dan anak2 sedara .. rasa mcm lama tak jumpa memandangkan exam anak2. Now exam dah over .. Ya Allah, kumpulkan kami semula dlm rahmat Mu, Ya Allah.

Monday, August 28, 2017

43. A-Cake-Less-Birthday

Not that im still whining but these boys just dont understand how i love to hv cake on my bday. Probably, this was my first time not having a bday cake and it felt like... as if my bday still hanging😣

43, really?

Eversince ... eversince life reach its abnormality form .. i kind of lost some details that has been going on in my life. I cant even remember how was it felt to be forty and now im forty three!

I miss having bday cake but if that is what its all about then, i would hv to forgo a bday in exchange to "peace".

Ya Allah, only you know and i leave my life to you ..

rough start of the year but the rainbow in the sky was kind of a hint from You can You are with me and everything will be alright. ان الله معنا😗😗😗

Friday, August 25, 2017

Lemas

Ya Allah .. aku lemas dalam hidup. Aku tak bisa bersuara kecuali pada Mu.
Kemanisan senyuman yang menjadi tembok luaran disebalik sejuta kerisauan dan kegusaran. Ya Allah, ingin aku bersuara tapi lidah ku tak bersuara. Hanya pada Mu jua aku bersujud dan mengadu.

mungkin ini yg dirasakan ibu. mungkin ini yg menjadi cancer dalam tubuh ibu. Jika aku pergi, aku pergi dgn gembira, Insyallah. Kerana kesusahan ini menjadikan aku insan yg merindui jannah Mu, Kasih Sayang Mu dan Rahmah Mu.

Doakan aku.

Few days to bday ..

Monday, August 22, 2016

Release

Last week, a fren did a fork tuning on my palm. As she did it, she looked at me and told me to use Release essential oil as I had a lot of emotional issues. She was almost suffocated thru her throat as she took in the effect from me.

Oh Allah, only you knew how i felt. What it felt like to me. Right now, i am emotionally grumpy! I burst to tears over breakfast of kacang pool cos it reminded me of breakfast with ayah back then when i was a little girl.

Help me ya Allah. Make me strong again.