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Check Out this Birthday Card I Just Received! Create your own! im 35!! hmm when i think of being 35.. the image of small me cabut uban ibuk yg kian memutih di kepala. I would say "banyaknye buk.." and ibuk replied would be "ibuk dah tua, ti".  In my heart i would deny my mom answered. I would not want her to grow old and would not want her to leave me and i most certainly don't want her to die. But not everything that we want could happen. Ibuk and me, we were 23 yrs apart.. while my elder son and me is 28 yrs gap.  Would God take me away from him just like what happen to me and ibuk? oh boy! this entry wasnt suppose to be about death. But its about me celebrating with my family and frens.  Alhamdulilah i still have people around me that care & love me so much more than i can tell.  Thanks all .. to shanti, thanks for the 'SURPRISE' gift ..

last night, both my kids tell me they want 'nyai' and started crying. Oh boy .. what can a mother do other than get them both to read Al-Fatihah for our dear 'Nyai'. May Allah bless her soul, Insyallah. After recited Al-Fatihah, adib look at me and cried again .. he wanted Nyai (again) follow my kimi .. (the copy cat). I know my mom love them too much .. always there to kiss and hug the boys. In my prayers yesterday, i pray to Allah for my mom .. i picture her in my mind and that brough painful sadness, such aching was hard to describe ...i cried my heart out. last week, visited ibuk 'kubur' was the happiest family outing i can think off. sitting beside her 'kubur' while recited surah yasin i felt so closed to her. I told Anja "Boy, bring ibuk home with you this ramadhan, k" .. aching .. heart aching .. still. This ramadhan, will never be the same ..

Ust Asri of Rabbani pergi tak akan kembali .. another one .. oh yes, i love Rabbani their attitude as a pendakwah and penghibur. At 40, dia menyahut panggilan Illahi. 2 hari lepas aku pergi ke jalan pisang .. beli makan .. aku terperasan yg adib manis di cashier tu pulang kan duit sedolar lebih dari yg sepatutnya. Hari rasa malas nak pulangkan semula jadi aku terus pulang rumah. keesokan harinya, aku ke jalan pisang lagik kali ni nak beli briyani pulak. Aku singgah sebentar ke kedai smlm dan pulangkan sedolar yg bukan milik aku itu .. adib manik di cashier terperanjat bila aku pulangkan duit sedolar itu .. sampai tak sempat dia ucapkan 'terima kasih'. Aku buat ni semua kerana aku takut nak ambik apa yg bukan bahagian aku .. kalau jadi darah daging lagik susah apa lagik kalau aku ambik barang orang dan Allah ambik pulak sesuatu yg berharga lebih dari duit sedolar dari aku. Aku takut itu .. aku takut pada hukuman Allah. aku rasa aku pernah tulis tentang seorang teman yg suka tany

thank God for the long weekend last week. at least i got some time to clean up the house and teach adib. P1 ain't easy somehow .. apsal lah tak macam time i kecik dulu. 2 mlm berturut2 lovey mimpi yg ada kene mengena dgn ibuk. Semoga Allah merahmati ibuk selalu. Almaklum, ibuk suka national day. Ibuk suka tegok fighter plance dan bunga api .. ibuk suka tengok askar berbaris. this year, walaupun ibuk dah tiada dgn kita .. sambutan hari kebangsaan di rumah ibuk masih diteruskan. Semangat ibuk tetap bersama kami. this pics were taken after the Pledge Recital hehe.. baru-baru ni ayah sakit dada lagik .. aku risau. Alhamdulilah, duit CPF ibuk baru selesai process kelem-mengelem.

while driving along ECP this morning and listening to our National Song by Kit Chan - Home .. terasa sebak. Bila nak nyanyi ' this is the place i know is HOME' terasa macam tak tersebut sbb sebak hingga ke tekak. Every year pun sama .. walaupun tak pernah gantung bendera di luar rumah, semangat anak jati singapura tetap tersemat. 44tahun dan kini we 'coming as one'. Striving thru for a better economy and future. I will be missing from the celebration tmrw , tak pe lah .. kawan kat workplace pun dah kurang. I shall wait for this sunday to renew my pledge, tak silap around 8.22pm di mana saja kita berada kita diajak berikrar utk negara bersama .. hmm steady lah Singapore!! selain dari menyambut hari lahir negara .. Ligo share the same birth date as singapore .. GO Ligo!! roarrrr!! p/s: oh and dear rosie fr across the country has a blog too *tsk tsk tsk* opsie non of my biz!! but that big hair reminds me of tok pah!! juz wanna be notti tu jer..

last sunday was ayah's birthday. nope, we didn't celebrate or watever .. he don't want us to bring him for makan pun. so i buat jemput2 bawang that he happily eat ( i think). recently, i had a chat wif MIL. You know am a regular at her house now since she's helping to look after the kids while im at work. I was the one who spotted that somehow her neighbours dog urinated in front of MIL house and i was the one who knocked on the dog's owner dog to complaint about the matter. So back to my conversation with MIL, she said something abt Doakan .. it crossed my mind that it had been long i didn't doa for ayah. It got to do with something abt my DOA remain unaswered .. but i was determined to 'Love'. Watching Gubra last friday nite, inspired me even more .. if that was what Yasmin tried to tell me in her film .. why not .. DoA utk ayah was my way to show him my love. Smlm, somehow i felt like my doa came true. Alhamdulilah .. it didn't take ages like th