lunacy - di sini taman langitku

i was fasting this morning, got up at 5 to sahur.. sakit perut, gie toilet, solat and than took a nap after that i got up again, sakit perut again .. and then i got sakit kepala. It was mild at first. Yesterday i was granted a new Pentium4 xp. It was nice huhu until i realized that the fond looks kindda small and the headache started again. Goodness, i can't watch my Gilmore Girls today cos certain software was missing and this new PC is very the rigid that i can't just add any software on my own. uhhh!! so instead of watching the G girls, i listen to them instead and the headache is getting bad. I went to the toilet and feel like throwing out. Yuck! i got nothing inside my stomach so its kind of painful thing to do. I got back to the office.. make myself a cup of cereal milo drink and Buka my puasa. I took 1 tablet of penedol and the other one didn't make its way to my stomach. Time check it was 3pm. Tak de rezeki lah .. Insyallah esok cuba lagi. Sesungguhnya Allah ma

i can't keep the pontianak menjerit vcd at home cos its scaring me. I can't sit alone in the room with that vcd. When lovey put it in the leaving room, i kept on imagining something white with long hair sitting on the sofa. So this morning, i I passed the vcd back to ibuk can't keep it in my house especially when tonight, lovey is having a Goodbye dinner ova at downtown east .. hehehe very near to our house but still i don't want to be alone in the same house with that vcd. my sending my love to WTL for the birthday entry just for me. Thank you so much, actually i don't deserve such praise lah gurl.. think by now u all pun tahukan my character (bukan nyer baik sangettt). But still, i love those worlds ... May happy things be with u always. Btw, 1 sept is T'cher day in s'pore.. To An , Happy Birthday to u .. Wah! the whole M'sia is celebrating ur b'day ke? Wish u happiness always and im sure ur frens mesti dah buat plan for u .. To all m

hey all, ova the weekend our danny move house again for the 10th times. This time around to a Semi-D one storey..after the shifting he fall sick and today, Danny kirim salam all frens cos he's going back to meet his ayah lusa. (eh dah cuti skolah ke?) ok dah tu ajer.. am just sampaikan pesan hihihi.. i got the chance to chat with tatot last sunday ..hmm my advice tot, jgn anggau dulu .. fight fight fight hehehe

a wonderful birthday!! families gathered to celebrate with me, while friends and relative remembering me on my b'day. This year, i slept early.. dinch wait for the clock to strike 12. Dinch do anything out of ordinary. I woke up at 12 midnite .. went to the other room, lovey was burning someCDs .. hmm ok lah nothing much to do so i reply to some b'day smses and zzz... Sabtu seperti yg dijanjikan lovey had to do a 12 hours shift. He wished me happy birthday and there he off to work. I was left with dibdib. Decided to sleep bit more before i set to clean the house as usual. Smses came in one after another... it was great, real people remembering me hehehe on my special day!! I got a call from my good friend lynn. It was nice time to catch up a bit .. and followed by a call from KL. Yati, thank you so mmmuuucchh!! pagi2 dah sampai library eh.. cian dia termengah2 naik bukit hehehe..and the marathon continue with a call from Melbourne. Yup, Jun called. We talked like she's

thankful I would like to think of the good stuff sajer. Last nite i slept late cos of One Tree Hill . Watching it alone late nite gave me more time to be by myself. At 30, when most of my frens are bizier than ever with kids and family, i found an alternative to talk, tease and share my everyday thots. I found "the rupa tanpa wajah geng". Some come and go while others stick around. It is nice. No string attached nothing lose nothing gain but somehow i do care for these people. This is what i call di atas paras normal . Lovey and me so far Alhamdulilah.. still share the same thots and trying our best to educate dibdib. Insyallah, will try to give my best to my family. Maybe I need to spend (not $$ perhaps) time more with adek, I hope to get that chance. In the office, I have problem creating the forms this time round. Cant seems to find the lingo. I need to get it done soonest. Oh boy! asal lembab this time nih!! aku baru sedar pada usia 30 tahun, aku berada ditengah

what the ????! everyday is learning experience for us. two more days to birthday i tot i can at least make myself feel right but i guess i screw up a lot of times. Baru nak get ova tersentap ova last friday entry that ive deleted demi menyelamatkan persahabatan dari pupus. hari ni pula adek cried on the phone cos i care more for pple that is not in sg than her!! (u get what i mean? i care more for u guys than my own sista) if that is true, pls someone kick my ass cos i deserve it. At this juncture, i can only say i care for those who welcome my presence. Some pple welcome me with open arms; its like dtg ke rumah orang dan duduk di kerusi empok. But some just play hard and cold. As for my sista, she's too manja sampai tak leh angkat. But what to do .. in my eyes she's still the little princess that i used to bring along with me anywhere i go. Am trapped playing the big sista role. Insyallah its for a good cause. To the rest, lets pray to i_mshe's nephew yg sedang sakit d

I think this is the longest interval i ever did. Interval apa? interval from updating my blog. But the best part, i met some frens online and got the chance to chat with them ( Danny, Cekya, WTL & Awan Putih ). Marvelous rasanye dapat chat dgn diorang.. so tak lah rasa jauh sangat. Few days tak update blog sebab sibuk , sakit dan sentap . Ah! caya tak? and bila diulit-ulit apa yang berlaku rasanya nie semua rahmat dari Allah. Bila sibuk teringat nak rehat.. bila sakit teringat kan dosa dan bila sentap baru perasan betapa buruknya perangai. That's what i learnt these past days, Alhamdulilah perit dan pusing tapi tetap kene semuka dgn benda2 gini tebalkan muka sajer. Hopefully utk kebaikan masa panjang. Awan , thanks for the chat smlm. Bn wanting to meet u (online). Smile and the world will smile with u k bro. Wtl , u miss org sg? dia terus tengelam ke? Danny , go and flirt with gals plak lah.. rasakan the different Cekya , bila pindah? Kroll , i tak lupa kan u... tatot

cake for ur 30+x b'day.. Happy Birthday Kak Enigma!! Get well soon k. miss you gurl.. take care and may all ur wish come true, Insyallah 23 Aug 2005

Watts_In turn 1 today. A year ago when i started blogging i wudn't know how long it gonna last. Back then, i only had my sista Enigma to read my tots. Never that i knew along the way, i make new frens..and some become part of me. The feeling is so real that seeing them or hearing their voices makes it more complete. Thanks all..thank you for visiting Watts_In .

3rd entry of the day i called home ibuk is sick and dibdib insisted to play with his granny. im getting sicker now.. thinking of "cabut" early but i can't. I don't want to go for the b'day celebration. Am so not in the mood. my mind is thinking of nothing fantastic. I just wanna go home and sleep. sorry blogy if today i keep on compalining and cursing abt me life here cos i couldn't do it anywhere else. Thank God less pple are reading today's pathetic entries cos i just wasn't the everyday me. Am so sick to the edge now. Malas nak kerja.. the best is for my boss to release me early cos i lost all my humour to entertain everybody. Am like Pagoda Hidup. bley gitu??

2nd entry of the day my body is hot but i dare not say a word. I got meeting @ 3pm and and b'day celebration for aug babies @4.30. Gosh! the only thing i want to do is to go home @5. But wait, i still need to do some marketing for weekend. Adehh! and yup, i bought a Vitamins C too. I think i need to take panadol/paracetamol again. Im kindda feverish now, managed to sleep for half and hour and watch Gilmore Girls episode 12. The story leave me speechless. There's this part when lory kissed logan and told him that she wanted to know how it feels like to kiss him. Hmmm... sounds delicious. (hey am not sick after all eh???)

1st entry of the day I'm Sorry HAPPY FRIDAY TO ALL.. hope to hv a nice weekend.

hv a bite..ouch!! its a dark morning along shenton way, heavy cloud covered the tall buildings while the wind blew off the leaves along the pathway. I was in a bus enjoying the beautiful surrounding. A malay women caught my attention. She was fat, tired looking face , was wearing an old t-shirt and carrying old bags plus breakfast. She board the bus and sat 2 rows infront of me. From my seat, i can smell her overdue sweat that could easily made anyone throw up. I wonder what she did last night, any family?.. what kindda job she did.. i walked passed her, my heart sank.. praise to Allah for what HE had given me and family. Praise to Allah for making me realise how fortunate i am. A pool of tears covered my eyes.. thank you Allah for the great lesson cos I've learnt. __________________________________________ Last night my curiousity on "Mawi World!" was answered. I was excited when i heard the name, so i watched him sing. The duet, the solo performance, the duet w

i hate it when i get too involved with myself ( in my own world) that i neglected pple who needs me. Last week, a sister sms me minta doa cos she's going for her check-up. I wasn't really paying attention. Infact, i didn't even asked her of the outcome. My adek just told me that this particular sister got ceased in her tummy (not sure kat mana). And i just got an email from her telling me that she's going for an Op tomorrow morning. Reflect - Reflect - Reflexi diri lunacy!!! self involvement was never good for me. now, am sad again esp when i duno how to defend her when others are talking bad abt her... what a good for nothing fren i am... i so feel like crying..

feeling urrgghhhh... i wrote something nice yesterday while having my shower too bad.. its gone now. (i wrote them in my head) Am going bonkers. Mentally insane. Last nite i suddenly transformed into a spoilt brat. I was grouchy and cried lil bit just b'cos lovey agreed to work on saturday, 27th. I was unhappy like little puppy hungry for food; sad and lifeless. He said we can celebrate it the next day. I am obviously lost my maturity and told him nope, its all end after 27th. I've been celebrating my b'day since 1st Aug and 27th will be the finale!!. He laugh out loud ova my statement. I know am not making any sense at all. I just wanna make things difficult. (Adek used to say am good at that). Well maybe i am (so what gitu loh?). This morning, out of no where i pinched lovey without reason. (But the truth: am still sour abt him working). This is me. the childish me that i have not let go. At least this year i didn't make a list of what i want for my b'day h

am SOO duno what to write. u guys take care yeah... p/s: i love Aug. My b'day month. I love presents too hihihi... Al-Fatihah NurZaydah Bte Abu Hassan ( a sis/fren/schoolmate/neighbour & many more) wonder how long dia dah pergi meninggalkan kita smua ye?

how was ur weekend? mine was a tiring one. Friday nite happy happy tengok MI and ANUAR ZAIN!!! uhhhhhhh very the handsome skall dia. no more takuya kimura or charlies' angels hairstyle.. i much prefer what i saw last friday. To abg nuar 2 thumbs up!!. saturday, the 3 of us set out to send our car for servicing. We left our car and walk to SG Post. Been wanting to go to Barang Barang especially i_mshe pun baru ke sana .. so as usual even the fake flowers pun i geram. hehehe its their 40th Anniversary so cam ada sale but still not good enuf EXPENSIVE!!. But still we saw this rectangular stool @$195. Maybe just maybe we gonna get that for the house since orang selalu kata dtg rumah lun tak cukup kerusi hehehe.. we stop by kat Long John Silver to eat and than.. teruskan lagik jln to carik b'day gift for Aug babies (lovey's sista & anak jiran). Alhamdulilah.. we managed to get what we wanted and i got a long dress from lovey. Lovey said that will be my b'day gift. Oh

haze in klang.. kids, why ar u still playing outside? "The forest fires are still on so the (improved) visibility could be temporary only," "This is my approach. When such things happen, we must also pray to God to seek help," Abdullah told reporters Its kindda quiet today but i welcome it; cos ive lots of stuff to clear. Alhamdulilah am energetic too so i hope to clear most of my stuff. Plan to start on creating my forms again on monday. Gosh, this time around i really slack man!! what the hell wrong wif me?? hehehe BLOG!!! We had rain ova here in SG which means haze hv not flown here yet. But it might just happen in 2 or 3 days times if indonesia didn't do anything to stop the fire. Not sure why, but am still not satisfied with the way my neighbouring countries handling the forest fire problem. Am thinking, while the top people are still discussing ova the issue, Domestically, hv they start giving away free mask? setup emergency centres for those having chest

i saw a book on opposite yesterday, i bought it for dibdib. He was all excited ova the book. He flipped thru the pages and then he gave me this question look " ibu where truck?" i told him this is a diff book no truck in it. He gave me back the book and play with his tricycle. (note: boys will be boys .. no matter at what age they are) Last nite dibdib got all excited ova books. We kept on reading one after another.. he won't let me do anything else. No tv watching, no smsing, no sleeping. He's growing up now, loves to talk like err err.. sape eh?? aku kah itu??? Been wondering what happened to Danny . Have not heard from him. But my tots was diverted when Enigma sms me. She asked how's everyone doing?? She's bizi as usual and minta smua doakan for her. THIS TIME I GOT THE DATE RIGHT. SHE'S GOING FOR HER Tonsil Opt next tuesday 16 Aug 05 . Insyallah Enigma .. semoga semua selamat and get well soon kak. Contemplating plak nak tanyak khabak Danny ke tak ya

to all my frens di KL sana, take care of ur health.. jgn kluar sangat and PLS WEAR MASK!! IM NO KIDDING. UR INDEX DAH SAMPAI TAHAP BAHAYA AT 410. and ur govt nak tunggu sampai 500!!! ridiculous man!! instead of ambik tindakan or sueing the indon ur govt nak tolong!! Ya Allah i can't stand it anymore.. its the m'sian health and life we're talking abt now!!! i saw on tv one of ur menteri or dono who lah he's watching ova the skyscrapers..eik? nak check PSI ke? oit! its so bad already..cian orang2 yg sembut, babies, yg kaya bley ke doctor yg miskin cam mana??? am so pissed ar thinking abt this haze stuff. i think the whole govt dept nak kene revamp sey... take care all.

monkey or banana these days dibdib loves to eat banana. when i asked him who eats banana? he will reply: "monkey" so one day dibdib wanted to eat banana and he said: "ibu dibdib nak eat monkey !!" hik hik hik .. my little adib. isn't he cute??

nak puasa tak puasa.. so let see.. last nite i set the alarm at 4.45am sebab nak sahur tho i duno what im gonna eat. hmmm no milk, biscuit, cereal in the kitchen. Need to do marketing lah.. i off the alarm at 5am thinking that yup am getting up. but i con't donzing off till 5.20am. Oh man, masak air pun tak sempat. I sat on the bed and argue with myself.. dun think much abt food kalau nak puasa but if i dinch sahur nanti i will get the famous gas-electric problem. Haiyok! i called ibuk and told her i tak jadik puasa and in return ibuk kata "mantel eh!" (ibuk famous trademark) yesterday celebration was great. Everything went smoothly .. tho i only watched it from tv but i still get to enjoy the beautiful scenery of Padang, ShentonWay and the High Court. To WTL, i tengok fireworks kat tv jer lah tho this year ada 5 venues for fireworks. Kitaorang bermalas-malasan at home. last friday NDP celebration at the panthouse was ok lah. nice scenery from 30th floor and angi

I just read my pledge. It felt like i just renewed my citizenship hehehe. Happy Holiday to fellow heartlanders..

9th Aug 1965 dlm diri tis morning, am all set to puasa. I woke up at 5. Masak air.. then start to think wat to wear to office today skali tu i remembered today @ 2pm we gonna hv our National Day Celebration. Off the flask switch, the light and bam! am back to sleep. dlm negeri went around reading fellow sg blog. found 2 typical sg blogs one two tis morning lovey said "eh, kita blum sempat hang flag" (like we hv one and we don't intend to hv oso) so i said "its ok, there's other way to show our patriotism" (like real). The thing is we the the ya-ya papaya couple. We just wanna hv time to releks ajer.. luar negeri azam is out eeeiiiuuu!! ok lah kita tengok farah and faizul ajer lah. I had fun singging that jacket biru song yesterday. HAPPY 40TH BIRTHDAY SANGKAFURAH

yesterday probably the last time we had to go and buy those pengantin stuff. After this i hv to start thinking abt getting boxes, ribbon bla bla bla bla..duno what yet specifically. last friday i worked on the wedding card and got approval from lovey's parents. Let see what the rest have to say. Am open to any comments just let me know. Yesterday, mak & bapak brought abg chik's tunang skall to Arab st. We're wanted her to choose a matching material as part of the barang hantaran. I was told she's not the out going type. Always with her mak/bapa (u noe what i mean those very decent obsession kid) am ok to help if she one. But it turned out, she shoo me off right on my face. Goodness grecious ME!! I can't belive what im seeing. I showed her what'n in-trend and she just don't give a damn abt my effort. Lovey dah turn off right from the start (I think, he senses something weird abt this girl hehe thick foundation and bright lipstick). She got a very diff

jemput masuk.. passwords every now and then when the password to our network expired we will hv to think of a new one. i normally wait till the last day of the expiry date to think of a new one. Initially, i would choose some familiar numbers or names as my passwords. But as the time goes by, i started to come out with short phrases or adjectives as my passwords. Those words that best describe what i wanted most in my life. How abt you? ___________________________

i watched the finale. My heart stop with the sound of the gunshot. That was the peak and that was the end - OC season2

fix it L ast nite i was calmer. Both of us were. we didn't talk abt "it" cos we didn't have a pleasant ambience. he did pick on few things but i let it rest for now. Im all done with frustration. Yesterday is history, need to set a good example to the younger one.. Well, its ok to vent out those frustration once a while but not everyday hehehe. Like awan said its not good for mental, yup i agree.. heh Wtl kata lidah kan tergigit .. yes gurlfren i got the idea, thank you AND thank you Captain for the sweatest goodnite wish. I had a sweatest nite cos dibdib sleep thru the nite which mean the ayah & ibu get a full swing of being in neverland too. yesterday in OC: Sandy mention something like this to his wife: " if we want to fight this, we need to have a strong ground and right now we didn't have that". The word "STRONG GROUND" i like. to my bro, sorry if my words last nite sound a bit harsh. Thanks all, i look pretty good today!

I found this song while watching "OC". So heartbreaking. So emotional. So right and So me. And I also find strength in it. Its a song by Cold Play. I wud love to share it with my closest frens. btw, I cried. It was a good painful cry. But i assured myself that i'll fix "it". Shanti just saw my face and was so damn shocked. She told me maybe b'cos i laugh too much yesterday.. maybe. my bro wrote abt "Reaction Paper"..hmm i think my reaction today is far too strong. Im so down..and i skip lunch without having proper breakfast. Gosh!! I'll be sick very soon i think. Fix you - Cold play When you try your best but you don't succeed When you get what you want but not what you need When you feel so tired but you can't sleep Stuck in reverse And the tears come streaming down your face When you lose something you can't replace When you love someone but it goes to waste Could it be worse? Lights will guide you home And ignite your bones And I

frustrasi - gambaran sebenar hati dikala ini..

hot and steamy oh!! it was hot and steamy... shan and me entered the room holding hands cos we can't see a thing!! Berasap dude!!! for half an hour the two of us sat in the smokey room relaxing ourself. Right before that i asked shan "ur not afraid being alone in the room with me?" hehehehe shan gave me this worried look and told me to stop my nonsense and we both laugh. That's how shan and me - i loved to tease her.. with all my nonsense. It was hot ... sometimes i just can't see shan who seated at the other coner of the room. Woi!! takut kappa??? After half an hour.. the steaming stopped. The smoke going off and i told Shan "hmm not bad at all eh, maybe next time we can strip naked" again her eyes yg bulat tuu gimme that disapproved look and she said she knows im gonna said that. hehehe betul ke shan??? We relex awhile .. admiring our "beautiful body" hahahaha told shan .. let's imagine we are the bikini model .. and the laughter c

pretty alone.. Reading i_mshe entry abt frens makes me wonder whose my frens are?. Do i have one?? what happend to the charles' angels? Talking abt hang-out frens.. lovey is my one and only hang-out fren left (he's my "somebody" from DepacheMode. The rest.. bizi kot. Mungkin jugak ketiadaan masa membuatkan kita jauh... Congratulation to Babang and hasben for their 3rd boy, 29 Jul 05. to Ayah, Happy Birthday and lot more unspoken wishes for you. i see me.. i walked too much and climbed too many staircase on saturday, now am having muscle pull on both my limbs. Its very painful i rub some oil or donno what lah but the pain still dinch subside. I ate panadol extend; its for muscle and joints, hope it helps. Tomorrow am going for steam bath. 1st thing first, need to saturate those fats.. then followed by gym. I need to be in shape again. I don't like to "look prego" when im not. I just need to tone up some bits of here and there.. btw, I'm not a