lunacy - di sini taman langitku

04 Jun 2001 --- Night sky --- Image by � Matthias Kulka/CORBIS kita lihat matahari, bulan & bintang yg sama... tapi adakah kita merasa hujan, angin, terik dan melihat awan yg sama.. dah dua hari ni, cuaca mendung kelabu. Hujan turun diwaktu terik dan awan gelap memangku hujan... tapi mana hujan nye?? ahhhhh ada .. cuma aku saje yg dok terperap di ofis malas nak kluar menikmati keadaan dunia luar. Smlm, dari jembatan Benjamin Sheares aku lihat awan menebal di atas kotak2 batu di shenton way... aku jadi gerun. Terfikir sejenak bagaimana pula jika Allah menunjuk marahNya? *aku terdiam* ********************* lama jugak aku tak mengaji Quran. Mengaji dari Alif Lam Mim.. tersentak kejap bila aku tak ingat lagi bagaimana bacaan itu.. ayat2 Al-Baqarah yg dari dulu aku hafal seakan2 menghilang sedikit demi sedikit. Aduh! gusar hati.. malu sekali pada diri sendiri pastinya di sudut sana ada yang gembira ria kerana berjaya melalaikan aku. Ya Allah!! apa dah jadi nih???!!! *ak

ROTTEN APPLE Danny the English Lecturer aka very d'innocent - isnt "SOS" the code used when someone need assistant or help?? ish ish ish ..cili or tomato Dyhy??? hihihihi.. aku gelak riang mlm tadi bila baca. Hmmm READ ur entry, jimi say ur brave eh.. i would have laugh my heart out if u told me the story. No wonder u didnt tell. Kaklar giler lah u nie Danny... Senang btul orang take advantage of u. Kadang2 tuu i pelik, are u sure ur a Virgo?? hmmm... sounded more like a fish as in pieces, that suits u better. On the other hand, ur loneliness scare me lah bro. Glad ur back in one piece. Haiyok, u check-in to a cheap motel what do u expect?? u ingat with the name s'pura jer smua terjamin oleh 5 brothers ke? Lastly, mana photos nyer?? nak tengok...and last request wanna see how u look like now bro plssss.... sure chinese looking malay meh? (another trick to see ur pic hehe) and the ex.... tak bizi ke dia? "Su" the Cekya aka kanak2 riang - hmmm ur mood

this is us some friends are flying to Perth tomorrow. i grab the opportunity to kirim some stuff for my darling jun yang skarang menetap di melbourne. Ahhh..now i just remember wanna write love letter for her.. kangeng banget ngan dia - ini lah perasaan yg susah nak diucap but im letting my fingers to do the talking. I drank some half spoilt milk i think dah 2kali ceri beri... my mind is pretty occupied with works and teman2. Wtl, sorry lah it seems that i can't find mamat u tooo. But im sure, ini petunjuk dari Allah, Alhamdulilah u redha tho its not easy but take it easy yea.. awan, ur too far from me.. to high up in the sky for me to reach. Am still admiring u.. and pray for u to be strong. Its not easy to fight those inner feeling especially bila kita dlm keadaan waras... waras yg kadangkala boleh menjadikan kita separuh gila .. just like what i told Danny dulu banyakkan baca zikir Nabi Yunus (u know the story kan?) Bacalah: " Laailahailla Anta Subhanaka

Menu for lunch: 2 BBQ chicken pau, 50 cents watermelon and 2 episodes of Gilmore girls. ahhh..this is a story that every lines spoken means a lot like "pale is the new tan" heh! i love it. the mother + daughter = friendship kindda thinggy. Now am tired, hah! sape suruh tak mau rest or blog time lunch tadik ye?? suddenly teringat lama tak bertanya khabar kengkawan smua: kroll: long time u tak tunjuk muka.. i know ur bizi but does that mean u dah tak jenguk watts_in lagik? Ad : errrr .. apa cerita skarang? tak mau ke cerita pasal "dia" danny : i presume u tak jumpa CC lah dats why nothing updated hehehe.. abt the "fight" tuu; funny it was long forgotten until u asked and it started again last nite. But we kiss and make-up right after that. So no fighting or anything violent happened, it just 2 tired soul turned cranky. Can't wait to hear from you bro. cekya : hehehehe.. u alarm me abt raya preparation. Did u buy any curtain last sa

the beach.. captain, balik lah .. we miss ur presents. captain, cepat balik .. we miss ur presence. ----------------------------- just came back from my old skool. we had some gathering for tahlil & bacaan maulid. Only few people turn up but i was glad that i came. Am tired right now cos tadi i took public bus with dibdib..brought him to my old skool..he charmed too many gurls tadi now he trus lepak on the bed. I told lin and kak murni abt the majlis and both of them turned up. Yippi!! It must have been a long time since lin jejak kaki kat skolah.. brought her jln2 around skool.. we went to the science lab and memori lama menjelma.. itulah tempat lunacy menyanyi lagu2 rok melayu in 1987. Haahahah korang yg lain still isap susu kot masa tuuu... sorry wtl, so far my fren tak kenal lah ur fren tuuu.. i shall try some other sources..JDB, any luck so far??

jln jln ke rumah kak enigma and dapat berita dari selipar jepun yg kak enigma ni skarang ada di hospital. Ya Allah apa plak dia buat kat situ? siapa si selipar jepun ni? kak enigma pun tak tau..tapi apa pun terima kasih lah..kak enigma masuk hospital smlm kerana tonsilitis katanya. get well soon sis!! i_mshe, kalau ko baca ni, gie lah hospital damansara bila sampai KL and sambil vacation tuu jgn lupa prozeks berbanyak yek... Adren, u tak de appointment kat hospital damansara tu ke? kalo ada bley menjengok kak enig. to all, selamat berhujung minggu k.

class act PANGGUNG SANDIWARA dunia ini panggung sandiwara ceritanya mudah berubah kisah Mahabrata atau tragedi dari Yunani setiap kita dapat satu peranan yang harus kita mainkan ada peran wajar dan ada peran berpura-pura mengapa kita bersandiwara mengapa kita bersandiwara peran yang kocak bikin kita terbahak-bahak peran bercinta bikin orang mabuk kepayang dunia ini penuh peranan dunia ini bagaikan jembatan kehidupan mengapa kita bersandiwara mengapa kita bersandiwara

mmmm... aku menjadi resah. Menunggu jawapan dan bertanya khabar melalui kotak persegi di depan mata ku ini. Its like looking at a cystal ball..waiting for answers and wonder how she's doing. I don't want to say that i know how she feels cos its fully understood. Looking forward i want her to brave herself. If only she has some bit of anger and frustration in her that will be good. Stop blaming yourself and stop thinking abt imperfection gurl. As far as i know, u did all you could. Your patience has its limit. It's his lost if he didn't get you, NEVER the other way round. Sis, do you want to share you life with someone who treated you like this? make u wait most of the time? playing with your heart and feeling? If he said he's buzy - yes, whose not? But hello....!!! its skol holiday ova here.. wonder what other lame excuses is he giving you sis. fuh!!! am so much of fire now cos i hate to see you cry and being in this sad state b'cos of him. Wake up gurl,

i was surprised to get the message. Yet i was glad she turned to me.. anytime for u dearie. I guess the story of love has always been a mystery to people. Am no expert in it nor do i know much abt it but i got my own past .. which is enuf to make me understand the pain of missing someone you love. ok lah penat berbual bunga..cian bangau kat atas posed sexy cam gitu menantikan kehadiran sang kekasih yg mungkin sajer sedang sibuk mencari ikan di laut cina selatan. Pada yg merindu tu, take some "time-off" and think with your right mind. Kita merindu pada yg sudi atau kita merindu pada yg simpati? Kita bercinta atas dasar suka sama suka atau mengikut gerak hati kita sendiri... Check semua compass persahabatan, where does it lead both of u tuu.. endless friendship, soulmate, kekasih awal & akhir.. i hope after checking all the details.. u'll find the answer and be brave to acknowledge the truth. If he's at fault.. well, jgn segan segan to call him " asshole &qu

aku terokai dunia maya ini ke sini dan ke sana.. ku baca detik hati mereka dan ku pelajari erti kehidupan. Ke kenali insan2 dan mungkin jugak terjalin persahabatan... our captain decided to abandon the ship and sail with his boat instead. He wants to be alone i guess.. von voyage, sir. To all crew, kita carik kerja part-time nak? my kindest fren; WTL when the time comes you'll get ova him. Don't cry k.. it hurts to see you being like this. dreamer, am sorry abt ur grandma.. hang'in there to the rest.. be happy ok went to Green Cedar (Labanese Restaurant) for lunch. Keep on telling my self that i wanna go there try the food. At last sampai jugak kat sana.. tho' its halal but so disappointed to learn that it is actually own by a chinese. Many tall, good looking arabs were there.. but a chinese??? so tatot, u hv not answer my question: " KENAPA RAMAI ORANG CINA DTG BERKERJA DI SINI (dan jadi kaya) KENAPA ORANG MELAYU YG BIJAK2 TAK MAU DATANG?? ahhh..sambil menaip

sleepy to the max lah...WTL ur not alone the sleepy virus is in my head too... i've tried drinking coffee, chew chewing gum, brushing teeth, solat, listen to music, makan pisang and still sleepy but .. the best part tuu, since i can't do my work i gie slongkar kotak2 kat bawah meja and found a microphone for PC. Tatot, if tis working.. lepas ni u play guitar i sing ok. hmmm..too bad lah i can't YM from office and at home pun not too often. I guess i miss out a lot of fun ya? *sob sob* Anyway...back to today's topic - Anyone still sleepy?

i hate to use those words. Many years ago, sewaktu melewati usia remajaI told myself those words are only for people yg putus semangat dan tiada kepercayaan diri. Kira self-relisation lah tu konon... but today, i just can't help it but to say it " Sapelah Saye...." aduh benci betul lah..i've been trying to borrow name plates for the dept Industry Meeting this thursday. Dah check with few dept smua tak bagi pinjam alasan nyer diorang pun ada big event this thursday. Yang ada tu plak nak bagi pinjam tapi saiz nyer berbeza pulak.. tho' i hate to gie minta2 and aksyen peramah with orang di dept lain tapi ku gagah kan jugak muka & suara jadi maintain cam biasa buat kerja gini lah... but still kene turn down. si ketua bahagian admin pulak - kita panggil dia Kak Po ok, mati2 tak mau purchase for our dept need. Dia kata mahal... adeh! Sape lah aku nak melawan kata2 Kak Po.. bahagian admin dia pegang aku tak leh nak langgar lah.. unless aku gi mengado domba dgn

so here's the deal, am so scared of getting fat that i started to skip lunch without having a stable breakfast. Right now i am so hungry that i can eat the whole cow - i think. I've finished 3 pkts of biscuits, a cup of coffee and a cup of milo and still hungry. I'm still stuck in the office cos an IT guy is uploading something for me. And where are u man?? call me quick ... my state condition: rasa pening, amino acid di perut dah melimpah ruah, tangan dah sejuk..perut keronchong hmm asal tak rock plak nie? wish me luck i wanna go home and EAT real food masakan ibunda tersayang..ayam goreng cili. AKU LAPAR SEKALL NIH...

office senyap jer.. am surrounded by empty workstation rasanya. What's left in front of me is a close door with his name still hangging. He left some of his stationaries on my desk heh... sebak pulak rasa hati ni. Last friday, the farewell mini party was a happy one. We took pictuers together.. and at last it was time to bid our farewell, couldn't look at him in the eyes..and trying to calm my heart not to be sad tho my eyes still didn't listen to my inner voice. i told him thank you for EVERYTHING - which include 2 promotion in 5 yrs and opening his door for me tho i was shifted to another division (yet he still remain as my boss in my heart). sunyi. terlampau sunyi rasa dlm hati... mungkin jugak am afraid that i don't have a strong backup anymore..hmmm something is missing that's how i feel. friday, i gave ayah the present that he wanted most - settled. saturday, collected the baju for dec wedding. heh.. very the kiasu rabak but that's singapore style

Happy Fathers' Day Lovey and to all AYAHs too... ayah.. sunday is Fathers' Day yesterday after work i went around bugis just to see if there's anything nice to buy for ayah & lovey. Haiyok, not easy lah.. then i walked thru the perfume counter..hmm perfume for lovey would be a good idea too. But which one?? i started with BOss uhhhhh strong lah beb, then i saw the DKNY (if am not mistaken) that comes in an apple shape .. hehe i was thinking ada bau-bau pekat kalau dah campur bau ketiak makin hangit kat idung. hmmmm in the end i saw Clinic - Happy Me. Sweet smell..very mild 50ml cost $53 while the gift pack cost $78. But too bad no stock.hmm looks like am not gonna buy him anything again..

this is us after he's gone had lunch with HL and the rest of the gang. We went to the same restaurant that we brought him when he first join the organization. Time to let go i guess.. and the memory remain.

monkey and giraffe - wat does it represent? nothing stays the the same..something just has to change when the time comes.. i look thru my old entries and i understand why there were times when adren type his entry for the sake of his readers who waited anxiously for an update abt his life; instead of him writing because he needed to write. am feeling like im at that junction too. I remembered how i used to write abt things that cracked kak enigma like mad. Its been long i didn't write like those days... too long perhaps. adek loves the bracelet i bought for her.. i wrapped the purple box on a purplish blue paper. There was a short note for her that i roll and tied it with a ribbon and put it right beside the bracelet. I don't remember ever doing this for her.. glad that i did it. last nite b'day celeb was very family oriented. Good lah we need to stay that way. The show "Eye for a Guy" ended with lack of style. Everything was so lame. Quite dissappointe

Happy Birthday, Sis Birthday greetings to my wonderful, sis, This happy day I could not miss. For it reminds me of the joy you have given to me, I pray to you, my love you can see. Let us laugh and cry at our younger days, As we struggled with our differing ways. Let us use the past, so closer we may grow, So in future days, more happiness we’ll know. Love always, ur sis

am turning into a green mornster call J. Damn!! with the green monster J around am kindda helpless. hey, what a coincident am wearing green too. Stats after stats get into my way (its kindda cool me down actually) am not gonna let myself to turn green with J. Yet to fight it, is kindda challenging. All in all i find it very childish of me to act this way. (everyday peple: dun get me wrong, am not angry..) Adren, where u been..? Kroll, tak beli CD Semangat Zaman ke? i was so happy to see the ol' rockers back in action. Esp Joey of BPR, Yantzen of Rusty Blade and Aris. Nash still sound as good as his left-handed days eh...

6 am we were out of the house..weeeeeiiiii 6.30 am reach ibuk house, bid lovey good bye kiss kiss and go... 6.35 am o'ooohhhh mimi (dibdib soft toy cat ala ala bantal busyuk) tertinggal in loveys car dibdib started to ask for his mimi. Called lovey hp tak idup. hehehe i off his hp this morning, thingking who would want to look for him. tu lah smart ass namanye, lovey remain uncontactable until 7.30am. dibdib still looking for his mimi... hmmm ibuk said i cannot leave for work without mimi weeeeiiii.... Hari ni pulak ada shortage of manpower there's no way lovey can get out for a while.. so the next thing to do is to halt a cab and go to loveys workplace gie ambik mimi. Tak sempat nak jumpa dia pun. Tempat tuu penuh dng red-tape dapat masuk parking lot pun dah cukup seram sejuk. I was left with no choice but to apply for halfday am leave. On the way home, i told the apek to pass by ipoh lane. Al-Fatihah to ustazah Ainon Jaafar yg pulang kerahmatullah smlm. A bestfren called a

i dreamt of jun yesterday..she came to my room and sat beside me. i was shocked can't believe my eyes.. when i asked her am i dreaming and she said "no". I got up and hug her real tight. the whole senario was so real.. i saw aman talking to lovey while jun and me were teasing each other. Oh what do i know, its only a dream - she miss me perhaps, or was it just me been thinking of her...

happy moment looking at the sea perhatian: cerita ini adalah hasil pengamatan lunacy. kalau version lari jangan mara.. Melaka trip to melacca started with tension between lovey & me ova what to pack. HAHAHA this is what happen bila dah penat & panic. Early the next morning, we had a good start...smooth sailing all the way to JB right up to Melacca. Nice road lah kat sana, sikit lebih kurang cam kat Johor, bahasa no problem. Masuk jer Melaka, hujan rahmat turun Alhamdulilah dengarnya dah seminggu tak hujan. lovey sista suggested we go to the Zoo, slamat zoo penuh sesak (hehehe i tak favour gie sana sajork) so we con't our journey to Reveira sajer. Bertemu Sampai jer bilik, waduh! indah terasa indah bila berdiri di balcony sambil melihat laut nan biru. Lun pun mulalah sms wtl and followed by phone calls. Takut beb my first internet fren turn real. Don't know what to expect so i figure let just follow my instinct and meet her. Tempat jumpa ialah: Market Sentral. Lun gug

bila balik dari cuti jer rasa cam nak kerja 25 jam sehari just to abiskan kerja yg menimbun nih..kalau nak ikutkan logik tak de masa nak berblog dan mencuri baca blog2 lain tapi gerak hati lebih kuat dari akal sebab tulah lun menulis lagik nie... blum berkesempatan nak tulis kisah di melaka lagik sebab terlalu banyak yg berligar di kepala.. kat mana nak mula? cam mana nak mula kalau hati tak tenang sebab kerja banyak. apa-apa pun, am happy enigma kembali actif. cerita hot pulak tuuu... danny , apa kerja ko dah buat bro? cekya , masih sibuk melayang danny ke? tatot , back to art ye? love it bila u tulis FUCK OFF! (ketawa berdekah lun!) , awan & adren apa cerita u ols? nanti lun baca but i notice awan tak bagi kita comment his current entry hihihi..and wonder if adren update kisah his brader's engagement. kroll , lun gi seremban teringat kampung halaman u. i_mshe dah takeout underscore just for danny's sake waaaaa!! and lastly, WTL - u deserve to be with someone better.

am back now..relaxing@home.

Bye for now .. owner is taking time off from being lunacy.. but she sure gona miss u guys. take care all.. God is watching us from a distance - ciou bebeh p/s: Good News: Still remember Abg Zaid (my colleague)? he just been transferred to a normal wad. He has regain conscious and tadi he asked his wife how come his colleague tak datang tengok? heheh.. thank u guys for the doa :)

while packing my stuff in the quiet house..i suddenly got this funny feeling abt a lot of things. Things that are not directly matter to me.. things that ive been holding on for sometimes..things that i just can't share with anyone. Am not confuse over these things but im just amuse by how much am affected by it not only on lunacy. Maybe its best to be like Dzue - adopt his happy living lifestyle and redha pada kejadian Allah. Things happen for a reason i keep on telling myself.. oh well, case serah serah what ever will be will be..

am having problem viewing my blog again *feninglah* right now baru terasa the urgency to do my packing. i can't seems to think of what to wear especially bila teringatkan kalau ada rezeki dapat bertemu wtl (woi, yg lain mana?) hmm macam nak excited pun ada..hai mahu saje aku cucuk jarum botox ke muka untuk menambah seri muka atau pun cucuk lah jarum tang sini dan tang sana....hihihi jgn sampai jadi loktang sudah lah... tapi sebenarnya darah gemuruh dtg sebab lun tak pernah spend such a long hours with loveys family. Itu yg lun takut.. am not good in big crowd. Takut angin barat daya datang abis mood jadi pusam. Haiyok!! i keep on telling myself to think positive and to enjoy the the gateway... its a chance to let loose.. hahaha let loose aper yek depan family huhu.... i dun know lah makbe i should start the excitement by shopping for disposable stuff *wink* am so gona miss blogging..and u guys too hahaha kaklar lah .. what the hell am i turning into?? hehehe thanks guys for the

Dibdib didn't have a gd nite sleep for the past 2 nites. tapi selepas episode semalam lun jadi phobia plakss so bila alarm bunyi jer terus tercelik. Kerja pulak sedang menimbun dan mood plak seolah2 dah tak sabar utk bercuti. Hati riang dlm kesibukkan. ni kejap lagik pun nak gie tukar duit RM. wonder what's the rate like today hmmm... smlm, adek pulang ..ibuk dah rasa tenang kembali, baru lah lena tidur ibuk di mlm hari. It was nice to have adek back. She full of stories .. tadi pun lambat sampai kerja gara2 dengar cerita dia. smlm jugak adek dapat results.. she cleared all papers with an A for her Japanese Anime and C- for her Sex stuff. huhu.. tu maknenye blum tiba masa lah dek kuang kuang kuang. Lun dengar khabar secret recepi dah halal..hmm maybe can get that for her coming b'day. am tired, blum pack baju lagik.. kalau setakat pack baju sendirik senang ajer but kalau for all the 3 of us..haiyok, ponat den! nevertheless.. am so gonna miss blogging. wei, korang tak m