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morning & me

Pagi ni smua rasa tak betul. hati meluap2 tapi aku tetap diam, segalanya mendatangkan kemarahan. Sebelum keadaan melarat aku kluar rumah untuk ke office walaupun pagi masih gelap. Berbagai benda berlegar dlm otak entah lah dari semalam aku dah macam gini. sengaja aku tidur awal to avoid talking to lovey. Even the programme on tv loath me to death. pagi ni, issue tudung mustard piss me off, dibdib pulak tak mau buat homework, hump! Dat's it, aku bersiap dan terus kluar. mungkin penat dan tak cukup tidur kot.

Suasana pagi di luar segar saje .. entah kenapa langkah ku seakan slow sangat. Im practically dragging my feet, tekak rasa macam tercekik, pathetic kan? Aku lihat2 keliling dan dapat lihat di belakang tempat memungut sampat ada wanita berbaju kurung sedang duduk di situ walaupun tak berapa clear sebab dia di cover dgn kotak2. Aku nampak tuan2 yg membela anjin berlari2 anak, aku nampak ramai nyonya2 berlari2 anak. Haaaiii, aku jugak yg terbelakang. Jarang skali muka aku masam macam nih. Nak senyum pun terasa macam plastik! ah benci lah gini.

i finished up reading another book (Chill Factor) by sandra brown today in the bus. Sampai office i did the ritual. But seriously i hate it when im angry with my loves ones cos the pattern slalu turned out the same. That was why i kissed and hugged dibdib before i went off. I pujuk mood sendiri and redha.

So what's next?? The phone rang. Adek was crying cos she lost her phone. Damn!!!

I was angry with adek too this morning and see what happened now? Can't help myself for feeling guily. Typical virgo style i guess. Sape can verify?? i called the TransCab to report the missing hp. She tried her luck by calling her hp. Got answer lah.

he picked up the phone!
he said he'll return my SIM card and memory card
i asked him u want to keep the phone issit?
he asked me back issit
possible?
apa ni
mepek ar

gosh! its only 10am. Ligo is coming to my workplace at 12.15pm today. I_mshe tak join cos sakit.

p/s: how was yesterday awan? got surprise party ke?

Comments

Mama Emmy said…
ish... apa-apa je lah kau ni lun... pepagi hari dah melenting.. relax sista... itu semua dugaan... and the mood will stay if you remain like that.... take it easy ok darling... remember Allah is always around... jgn luper mintak kesabaran dari DIA...
I_mshe said…
ish geramnye dgn kekurang ajar-an apek tu!! i'm assumign its an apek! gi report kat company tu! kurang ajar betul! nak make quick buck! ketokkan baru tau!

somedays things just do go right cos we didnt close last nite's chapter. umm... i know u be the one initiating to lovey. Well maybe you should do it again and tell from your heart. Its time for him to listen perhaps.
lunacy said…
kak emmy, aku ok jer. kalau u nak tahu aku suka menyelam sambil minum air. which means even dlm marah & benggan pun i still seek pleasure with life heheh

imshe, smlm i geram pasal lovey keep on marah dibdib. so dlm penat tu i still dpt tidurkan both kimi and dibdib without any complaintand without lovey assistant. lepas tu tv plak cerita pasal susu ibu. the doc said kids yg minum susu ibu will hv higher IQ bla bla so lovey kata "tak de harapan lah" cos i dah tak breastfeed kimi lagik. i tak naik lok tang cuma BINGIT jer.

"bro, lu peluk bantak sua mlm ni"
aqriz said…
lun, you ni marah dalam cool gitu.

I saw you walking just now, relax je, slowly, no hurry tapi actually macam seribu satu macam benda nak di tackle.
lunacy said…
lunch tadi i look ok kan? alah, life is short. write down my frustration and shread it away. *beres*

yeah beb, i ni kan minat relek..kene slow and steady *sambil berangan*. Jadi tak confuse macam err macam err macam sape tuu?? *hint hint* hehehe
Mama Emmy said…
eh betul ke your statement sureuh bro peluk bantal... hehehe mcm tak caya gituk..

tak baik tau merajuk mcm tuh... tapi kan kalau aku pun loktang jugak ar beb dgr remarks die mcm tu...

tapi takpe, sabar je ek... suruh die beli bunga mintak mahap... boley ke
lunacy said…
suruh peluk bantal tu eksyen jer.. sebenornya dia tidur one end and me the other end. kimi in the middle hehehe.. bunga eh? tunggu pig fly baru dia beli tak? btw, yg aku binggit ni pun tak seorang pun tahu.. aku binggit sorang2. bley??
I_mshe said…
what! lovey cakap gitu!! that affects me too! thats a whole load of s**t! hehehe excuse me. marah gue tau. Men eh.. satu nye dorang tak tau how it feels not being able to breastfeed tau.

I remembered feeling sooo loww and depress giler. And my own hubby too at that point of time took it as if it was my fault that i cdn't breastfeed. Ingat ape.. the body doesn't react to stress ke? Men camne u explain pun to dorang lambat nak paham.. melainkan they have female brain. kalau pure male brain jgn harap.

*i_mshe* turut peng dgn lovey
I_mshe said…
tapi kalau my hubby said that to me masa kita tgh tgk tv ke.. i would tell him off straight in the face.
Yati WTL said…
bicara ibuk2 di sini...

sabar ya lun
awan said…
tak dak yg surprise nya. hehe. budak2 nie dah ckp awal2. anyway it was nice. :-)
lunacy said…
wtl> i ok jer hehe
awan> good to hear that. Anyway u still young lah, jgn fikiran sangat k.
imshe> cool down k. on normal days i would justify the situation wif him but bila dah penat anything also can sound wrong kan? anyway jgn terasa sangat lah u can do it with ur 2nd one. i heard makan bayam will help the susu to be more tau. and jgn stress klu baby tak tau nak engage kat nipple bila dia dah lapar nanti dia tahu sendiri. kita jer kene strict with the little one. i think i slack lah with kimi cos lovey bz attending to FIL so i pun lupa2 nak breast feed hehe. Gd luck to u ok.
Mama Emmy said…
eh aku nak tanya sikit, biler lepas bersalin, korang makan sayo tak... kan org tua2 takbagi makan mcm2 benda... my gynae actually encouraged me to eat all types of sayor esp bayam, carrot & lots of broccoli... coz it helps to produce susu... & i did it with both kids... memang banyak giler ar susu... why not you give it a try i_mshe...
lunacy said…
mammaEm, kau pun satu apsal tak crita ngan aku time aku ngandung dulu ha??
Mama Emmy said…
alamak... kena marah seh... sorry ar sista... mana lah wa tau... aku hengat kau mesti dah terror... hehehe

but it is still not too late lar... kau try ar for the next one!!! yeeeehaaaaaaa

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