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korang, aku nak nangis..

listening to Kota Mati

penat gila siot!! hahaha macam bley terbayang kak emmy cakap gitu ..
cam gitu jugak lah yg aku rasa. aku masih di bulan march jadi penat aku masih tak hilang lagik dah ditambah dgn penat dari majlis smlm.
aku rasa perkataan 'penat' ittew terlalu pendek utk men'describe' apa yg aku rasa. Di tambah pulak dengan komen manusia2 yg kata 'dia tu penat sebab tak pernah kemas rumah, bila ada majlis gini cam nak rak lah berkemas' ataupun 'asal buat kerja last minute ..' so far itu dua lah yg singgah kat hati buat aku meluap2 macam volcano yg nak erupt. Aku cuma sekadar mampu berjampi serapa dengan 'Astaghfirullah' supaya dgn miracle dari Allah gunung kembali dormant. Senyap dan sunyi hanya memerhati gerak tari manusia.

tetiba dtg mood nak dengar peterpan kembali. Petanda emo nak ke kemuncak. Aku masih belum selera nak makan. the last time i ate a lot was last friday kat Pagi Sore for lunch, lepas tu aku skip dinner. And breakfast, lunch, dinner (on sat). Aku takat curik makan 2-3 suap when i fed my kids. Tu jer .. Sunday, wif buffet trays spread on the tables .. aku tak makan pun. Setakat mee goreng hailam yg 4-5 suap jer. Some dissert, perut aku mungkin ada kala dah terlalu lapar hinggakan bila masuk makan terasa sakit di perut. Tekak aku sungguh tak kuasa nak terima makan .. entah eh, dlm suasana yg penuh ceria nih, aku jadi sedih dengan diri aku sendiri tambah lagi dengan lagu2 peterpan yg aku tengah dengar karang nih .. betul lah tu 'hari yg cerah untuk jiwa yg sepi'. Aku ni macam 'sally sendiri', lelah menanti .. lelah menangis. Susahlah nak suruh orang mengerti. Kalau lah aku ada kuasa sakti dapat control kata-kata manusi supaya mereka berkata apa yg aku nak dengar aja.

apa2 pun aku harap orang di kelilingku jangan 'lupa' bila tengah happy. Jangan lupa merasa, apa yg orang lain rasa k .. aku masih ada sebakul emosi yg tersekat kat 'tekak'. Perut aku masih lagi lapar .. tapi aku masih tak kuasa nak makan ..

luv
lunasie..

p.s: shanti, how i wish ur here sitting next to me. i miss those time when i just need to turn to face you and cry.
p.ss: yes, u too jun..
p.sss: dulu kenkadang i wud turn to imshe too bila aku nak nangis ..
p.ssss: keep ur sarcasm pls .. am too sick to handle it

Comments

aqriz said…
macam siak itu orang yang komen macam tu.

ok, next majlis, kalau boleh, blacklisted them. buat bingit je kan. bukan nak tolong. Orang jemput rai majlis,bukan suruh komen.
lunacy said…
hahaha.. u ni cute ar marah2 gini

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