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its been a month

bila aku baring di katil ibuk; ya ampuuunnnn... rasa rindunyaaa..
air mata terus berlinang. Aku selalu baring2 atas katil dengan ibuk.
berbual-bual tentang macam-macam benda.
lepas tuu bila ibuk nampak anak-anak uban di kepala aku , ibuk terus cabut kan uban2 yang semakin hari makin bermaharajalela.. dan aku terus terlena..
hari tuu aku rindu dengan ibuk, terasa macam aku ni menunggu bila ibuk nak pulang.
hmm if only ibuk pergi dan lepas sebulan kembali ke pangkuan kita, kan bagus?
tapi keesokan harinya, kami melawat ibuk di pusara.
segalanya pasti. dan baru aku paham kata art fazil tentang 'menanti kepastian'.

adik,
i selute adik for being able to stay calm so far.
ayah,
dulu ayah suka hor fun dari sakura. ayah used to share it dgn ibuk. minggu lepas, aku beli hor fun dari sakura, ayah tak jamah sikit pun.
lovey,
i told him, just in case i suffer the same fate as ibuk, take really good care of the kids for me. He can always re-marry, if he wants too but just make sure the kids in good hands. lovey tak cakap apa-apa, tapi aku dengar dia terus terisak-isak nangis.. lama jugak dia nangis. I think i was right for not telling him that i don't mind ikut ibuk. Rindu pada ibuk membuatkan aku paham kenapa ada orang sanggup hidup dan mati bersama.

on a lighter note, after feeling down for half a day, i told lovey to bring me out.
he brought me to Swensen and i ordered waffle wif vanilla ice cream and strawberry jam it sure felt like heaven and it took away my sorrow for awhile.


dun worry pple .. aku masih ok, cuma dikala seorang diri.. aku suka berlunasi.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Tie. its me "honeymann. Sungguh touching kata2 kau to ur lovey. tanpa aku sedari airmata ku turut mengalir. ur family still needs u. ur kids too small to understand all these. u must be strong, my dear.
lunacy said…
hehehe aku tahu kau sape.. btw, ni bukan cerita perempuan utk suami ye ni. tapi tu lah ani, kehidupan aku sekarang. a bit sewel at times lah
I_mshe said…
i think you sound like you.. an easily expressive person.

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