lunacy - di sini taman langitku

What was the dream about? Im doing fine i guess. Just getting heavier cos its the eating season for me. Im trying to help my baby to gain more weight. Oh in case u dont know, we plan to name her Hana Adeena. Shan, during the 5th mth detail scan (last dec), Doc found a lot of abnormalities with baby Adeena. Its due to lack of some numbers of chromosome. Maybe due to my age. Doc suggested for me to terminate the baby as they found that baby is too small, there's hole in her heart, her breathing tube seems to be lesser, her left kidney is smller than her right. If I didnt terminate the baby, she will just stop growing and parish. But I couldnt do it Shan. Only God can take away live. Furthermore, she's bn so active kicking and responding to our voices all this while that I've decided to keep it and pray for miracles. During the 22nd week her size is abt 18th wks baby. When she's 24th week, she is abt 22wks baby. Now that i no longger vomitted my food, I hope she ca...

Hello Hana Adeena I pray to Allah to keep you safe all the time. Ayah has been taking good care of us. That only Allah can repay his kindness. The appt with Gynea last week was heart breaking. Cos Ibu and Ayah had build this wall to stay emotionally strong but words fr Gynea seemed to break it. Alhamdulilah, after a week, we are back on track. Happy and praying to your growth n health and may you able to grow as per normal babies. May your heart get stronger and not turn blue when i hold you in my arms in few months time. We love you baby Adeena. Barakallah fika...

Ibuk left us on chrismas day. So for the past 5yrs we visited her kubur on 25th Dec with ayah. On the 6th year, ayah too left us on 23rd Nov 2014. This year marked the 1st year ayah left and 7th for Ibuk. Visitting ibuk and ayah kubur felt like its time to let go what was in my mind. I hold the tombstone and told them about Adeena. As if they were there, comforting me. I guess its the only way to feel their existant "physically". Tho ayah and ibuk had been appearing in my dream quite a number of time.

Last night while all of us getting ready to sleep, Adib asked about how was Adeena doing. I told Adib to recite some surah from Quran and touched my tummy. True enough, baby Adeena started to move towards Adib voice and he could feel her moving. I told Adeena to move again and let Abang Adib to feel her and she did. Subhanallah, she such a wonderful baby. Even now when i am typing and waiting for fajr, she is kicking... grow well ya sayang. Grow healthily... we all love you, Adeena.

Alhamdulilah, we managed to squeeze time to bring the kids out of SG. Just to JB using public transport. Amazingly, i did not vomit at all while we stayed there. Alhamdulilah, i managed to eat and sleep well. But coming back to SG, my vomitting started again... Alhamdulilah we planned early cos by now the causeway was too messed up with jam!

few days ago, I found the courage to tell my gynea of our decision. Alhamdulilah, im doing this for Allah. May Allah ease this pragnancy and moving forward. The clinic asst called up and told me i was really brave. Subhanallah Tabarakallah.. i am not actually but as long as im doing it for Allah, Insyallah.. it would be the right way. I would love to get as many doa/prayers for baby Adeena. Apart from that, Husband had been wonderfully taking care and pampering me. Subhanallah... sometimes his gastures was just too sweet that i felt like crying. Adeena sayang... grow well and keep on improving your health ya sayang... be strong. May you grow as strong as Abg Adib and Abg Kimi ya.