lunacy - di sini taman langitku

its hard to get by the days.. everybody felt it. Family, relatives, frens, neighbours. I don't know how she did it. But she was loved by everyone. Her humour, laughter, cooking, love and care to everyone that knew her. Everyone loves her, misses her and this particular man felt for her the 1st time he approached her. She was not easy to get. She stood him up few times at Taman Negara. She didnt reply to his letters and it drove him mad with more love from her.. i never knew ayah cud be this romantic. It was lovely, so very lovely .. now that ibuk left us, he could hardly eat. Most of the times, i caught him in deep thots... missing ibuk. p/s: if ur a relative, pls dun tell ayah we found his letters. si dara pujaan ... teruna yang pada mulanya dicabar utk 'tackle' si dara tiba-tiba terpaut hati buat pertama kali dlm hidupnya. Dia perkenalkan dirinya sebagai 'asman' berkerja sebagai buruh kasar dari keluarga miskin. 1967, warkah pertama utk dara pujaan .. terca...

25 Dec 2008 khamis, mlm jumaat, haig road, singapura

am i the only one in this? am i the only one cracking my head while others still continue with their happy hour? ya Allah..show me direction ya Allah..im begging u

i wrote an email to my former schoolmates this morning, it goes like this: salam. sorry Jah, timing just not good lah. i was at home healing my heart with swollen eyes. i think, this days i take small things too hard, my feeling are just too fragile I miss out kak siti jun sister's wedding too and it just across my house. only remember it yesterday when arbaah called to ask abt the wedding. yesterday, i put on diapers for ibuk. so she won't purge again. her legs too wobbly to walk lah, the oral chemo that doc prescribe for her while in the hospital last week was too strong. I kept on wondering why in the medicine packet there was warning stated "CYTOTOXIC drug, handle wif care" its a toxic drug. Kalau u pengang u kene cepat2 cuci tangan. it cud be fatal. Allah, korang bayangkan my mom was hospitalized for sharp pain in her angkle, no appetite to eat and can't sleep. Now she become bedridden, no appetite to eat cos kat tekak mcm ada benda, minum air kluar kat ...

i wish i wud post that middle finger pic to show my anger just like mr mgr posted all the penyapu pics. i wish i wud and i cud .. ive been crying non stop. sedih.geram.outrage. my body was tired, my mind was tired, physically i felt tired, mentally and emotionally tired too. i think every part of my body was complaining of this tiredness. So why did i cry so much. was i sad, tired or mad? why did i curse and swear infront of ibuk and MIL?? Because I was accused of something that was not TRUE!!! to everyone who cares for me, if u wanna know abt the true fact of ibuk, pls ask. But pls make sure that u hv all the time to listen to my story. If u can't be sure of that, its ok. Just take whatever i said but dun add any sugar and spice pls. It mess up my mind and my brain. i juz came back from NCC. After being discharged from hospital, ibuk could not squad in the toilet. Her legs got heavy, she could not lifted her body from bed, her skin turned red and she purged on and off. The pain wa...

ibuk was back home on tuesday, just in time for her to watch every housewife fav series "Isteri Untuk Suami". The story doesnt make sense to me. oh ok, let me just shut my mouth abt it. Ibuk appetite had not improve and she could not stand after using the squad toilet. Infact, ibuk jatuh bila cuba nak bangun. Alhamdulilah, we managed to solve that matter by getting her a 'marble stone instant toilet' . Yesterday, ibuk nak makan asam rebus ikan terubuk (my family fav. fish). Ayah bought the fish and i cook for ibuk. Nampak selera Alhamdulilah, she manage to eat tak banyak but still Alhamdulilah. She was in terrrible pain when i came home from work. Ya Allah, aku jadi 'hilang akal' kejap. Ibuk's speech sekarang pun tak clear .. aku takut, aku kasihan dgn ibuk. Dugaan utk ibuk datang secara mendadak. Ya Allah bantulah Ibuk, Ya Allah. Sambutan hari lahir kelmarin pun ibuk hanya baring di katil sambil menyaksikan cucunya happy dapat hadiah. We all kne...

just us, 4. May Allah bless us all. May we get to see 'em grow with Iman and taqwa. Lovey had a bad dream of the boys last nite. im worried. Ya Allah, semoga mimpi itu hanyalah permainan syaitan, Amin . p/s: pic taken by Pamela Wild Heart @ jurong bird park that Ms Pamela aka Wild Heart and Me (kimi and me)